My background is in media and writing. I have english and media A-Levels and my degree is media based and a split between filmmaking (all roles including researching, writing, planning, producing, filming, editing etc) and critical analysis (basically being a film critic) Obviously this is a bitch of a field to get into but I love being creative. It is my absolute passion and the one stand out thing I am good at.
My DH calls me "camerahelena" when I'm working. He says he sees me "blossom behind a camera where I can hide and capture the world in my unique way" (also yes I totally bawled when he told me that)
Over the years I have never managed to get into this field for various reasons. Looking back I think it's likely because it's too much peopling. I struggle very badly to network.
I have worked in other fields including retail, administration and data entry. None of these have ever ended well for me. The happiest I've been was when I was working from home writing website copy for DHs web design business.
My DH has fibromyalgia and until recently could do zero work at all. I've been a SAHM and carer for the majority of last 4 years. It is now time when I feel like I need to work for my own health. DH is not as bad as he was at first and is very supportive. He has started to do little bits of work as and when he can and I started last year as well but I have hit a wall.
So far I've done some camerawork and filmmaking and I love it but I'm finding it hard going. I've done some work for friends, the kids school, my church and some local charities but never been able to push myself past that. I feel like I need to stay in my comfort zone. I've literally just worked for people I actually know and mostly in places I am familiar with. The thought of going outside that is giving me nightmares.
So now we come back to my second love, writing. I need to write. I think that overall this will be better for me. I can still be creative but I won't need to people and I can work from home so I'm here to do school runs, cooking etc. I've been writing on and off for a gaming website and more recently a gaming magazine and I want to continue to do that but that sadly doesn't pay me right now. I need to start writing for actual money so as of right now that's what I'm going to throw myself into. I know I won't make money instantly but I'm researching the crap out of this (ah yes aspie research, I have charts and everything) and I think I can do it. I'm going to blog about my journey on my personal blog and I'm also going to start an anonymous blog about my ASD struggle.
So here goes. I am writing it here because I want to make it official, I want to be accountable to myself and I really really want someone to just hold my hand. I'm scared and excited. I think this could be the thing that works for me. I need to work but I need to be in my own space. Hopefully this can make it happen.