Hello
Not been on here for a while as things came to a head with DDs health/education/mental health & I had to take her out of school. But the upshot is things are MUCH better & she was fast tracked to her autism assessment (didn't even know that could happen!) and surprise surprise she's very firmly on the spectrum.
Since reading a lot I'd already Dx her, & have also Dx my dad, and myself.
I pass v well for NT. I went to drama school & I'm a very good mimic. I have an eye for body language & an ear for cadence. I can be the life and soul of the party & make up stories & have no interest in number plates or categorising things. But I can remember most of the lines to all of the plays I've been in and every lyric to every song I've ever learned; including some in languages I don't even speak. But I'd also really rather be on my own for the majority of the time. I can't stand chit chat & I have found it virtually impossible to make new friends (real friends) since my mid 20s. since I stopped drinking excessively I've no real interest in socialising simply for its own sake. I'm very happy just sitting and making up stories in my head or reading about autism all day as it is my new specialist subject. I could quite easily go all day to the wee small hours and forget to eat/drink/move/get dressed. In fact I get pissed off that I have to collect DD from school and live in the normal world with normal people. I have extremely poor executive function which has deteriorated more & more since DD was born as has my general ability to cope with NT life. My mental health has taken a real battering. I don't know if I need or would get a Dx But I do need better coping strategies and better ways of dealing with life & my shockingly poor executive function. Am I just being ridiculous? Do I just need to get a grip? If I got a Dx would I be able to get therapy or organisational skills coaching? I'm thinking prob not. So is there a point? Should I just concentrate on DD? Am I a narcissistic wanker?
