Decided I'm going to seek a diagnosis

[Trinpy]

A couple of months ago I actually laughed at the idea that I could have Aspergers and yet today I decided I'm going to ask my gp for a referral for an assessment. I can't believe it.

I've spent the past month researching how Aspergers presents in females, read past threads in this section and on other websites, spoken to an NAS advisor and organised all my thoughts in a lovely table showing how I meet the triad of impairments. I'm going to take that along with the results of my AQ test when I see the gp.

I just feel really nervous about the whole thing still. I've had bad experiences with the doctors at my gp surgery in the past and I tend to panic and clam up and often cry when I see them about even very routine things because I feel so overwhelmed. I was thinking of asking when I make my appointment if there is a locum doctor who I can see. I think it might be easier if it's a complete stranger.

I will be absolutely mortified if it turns out I am just a slightly weird, extremely introverted nt person. I will have to change doctors and possibly my identity to escape the embarrassment. I'm also cringing at the thought of telling my Dh and my dm (who I assume will need to have some part in the assessment?).

Is there anything else I can do to prepare?

You sound very well prepared! Totally understand about the stress in seeing your gp. I couldn't face it so have gone straight for a private assessment.

My only thought is, and it's maybe not necessary at this stage, but once I talked to my DM about my concern, we had a chat about my childhood and that revealed that I was showing alot of aspie symptoms as a child. I had no idea until we chatted. Eg in reception the teacher said I wouldn't go out and play with the others and that my mum must have not have socialised me properly

Thanks mog.

That's a good point about talking to my mum about my childhood. You've just reminded me, my dad was telling me the other day about his 'unsuccessful' attempt to get me to socialise as a child by sending me to a nursery a few days a week. I ignored all the other children and the various toys etc and just sat by myself doing jigsaws all day . Unfortunately my dad has a crap memory and is deaf as a post now so trying to get information out of him is almost impossible. My dm says she can't remember much about me as a child but I think maybe if I was more open with her about why I want to know she could probably think a bit harder!

good luck! I'm finding out this afternoon from my GP how my assessment will go forward.

I have a similar feeling of "shit! What if I'm making this up or self-diagnosing wrongly?" I started researching reasons I couldn't be autistic, and didn't have much luck, but that could be self-diagnosing too.

I also have similar issues with forgetful parents, and I have no school reports etc. It's tricky isn't it?

Thanks Polter. I've been reading a lot of the threads on here and and your posts have been so helpful to me.

Hope all goes well with the assessment Sloper. I researched reasons why it couldn't be Aspergers too! I've now reached the point where I'm so confused I think I may as well get the assessment done so I can stop stressing over it!

I had all my old school reports, exercise books, etc carefully stored away in my old bedroom at my parents house but a cpuple of years ago a pipe burst and the whole room got flooded!

I saw the gp today and she was very understanding and says she will refer me on .

I keep going between thinking I definitely have aspergers to thinking I can't possibly! I've spoken to my parents again and all they can remember of me as a small child was that I was a very easy baby/toddler, rarely cried, very well-behaved, few tantrums and very happy and confident but shy. So not really fitting in with what I've read about children with asd.

I did find one old school book from when I was 8 where I'd written about how often I thought I understood something someone had said but when I explained it back to them they just looked confused! Also something about how I hated it when someone asked me to pass on a message to someone because I always forgot what the message was. But it's not much to go on really.

Thanks again Polter. Yes definitely unsettling. I hope I don't have to wait too long for an appointment to become available. I just need to stop obsessing over it all now, I think!

Hello, what did you discuss with the NAS helpline? Was trying to phone them today as am thinking about going to GP to seek referral, but I wasn't sure what to talk about on the phone, I just felt I should call them first!

Hi snail, I just said that I thought I might have ASD but I wasn't confident enough to see my gp yet because I wasn't convinced I wasn't just extremely introverted/socially awkward. I listed some of the traits I have and the advisor went through them all with me. We also discussed how I would approach my gp about it and a bit about the assessment. Just reassurance really.

I found it helpful to have a few bullet points noted down of what I wanted to say beforehand. Also I was on hold for quite a while before I got through to someone so choose a time to call when you know you won't be interrupted.

Hope that helps.

Thanks. I will try again tomorrow, I was on hold yesterday, I guess they are busy after Christmas.

Could they give any area specific advice about NHS referral? I'm wondering whether I'd need to apply for funding in my CCG or not. If I'd need to apply for funding I would want to do more research/ prep before seeing my GP. I also want to know what is going to happen before approaching my GP.

I'm not sure but it's worth ringing them to ask? I think you can also contact them by email which could be another option for you.

Hi trinpy
Sounds like your gp appointment went well?
I'm thinking about going to my gp but I don't know what to say,
Mainly I feel I need help because, I don't have any friends, I've tried so hard, joined every club going, but still no joy, it makes me so depressed I feel like there's some kind of social code that I'm missing.
Also I'm very childish (I'm 40) I like to stay slim so I can fit in children's clothes, I love pink and I collect toys, I get obsessed with them, it was Lego now it's sylvanian families I spend ages researching them and far too much money buying them .
I get over emotional so easily, I hate change and hate when people are breaking the rules
I'm controlling and like things just so, I have to do all the housework myself even though I don't want to because I want it done my way
I feel like I'm so weird, but I'm not sure I'll be taken seriously
How did you start the conversation with your gp?
Thanks

Polar I've just been through the process of getting a referral and assessment. I went to the GP armed with printouts of various test results (RAADS-R, AQ, EQ). I started by telling him that I wasn't coping with life in general, mostly because of anxiety.

The words "I believe I have Asperger's" passed my lips very early in the conversation. He's known me a long time and never saw through the mask so he didn't believe I might be autistic but referred me on the basis of my anxiety. I have just done the assessment and got confirmation that I am on the spectrum.

If you want to be referred for assessment be very clear and firm about that, and take any test results that back you up (like these www.aspietests.org/). If you're worried about not being able to verbalise what you want to say, write it down and hand it to your GP to read.

Hi Polar. Yy to everything Wings said. Do the AQ test and print out a copy to take with you. I also went through the diagnostic criteria for ASD and noted down a few examples to show how how I met the criteria in each section. This was mainly because I tend to get flustered when I speak to doctors and forget what I want to say, but the gp found it useful too and asked to keep it to help with making the referral. She asked me some questions about how it affected my work and whether my colleagues had ever said anything about my behaviour, so you might want to include something along those lines. The main thing is to make it clear that it's having a negative impact on your life.

I started by saying something like 'I'm here today because I think I might have an autistic spectrum disorder and I would like to be referred on for assessment.' Then I said a little bit about how I'd come to that conclusion and showed her my notes so she could see for herself. Good luck with it all.

How long did the whole process take for you from gp appointment to diagnosis Wings?

Thanks to both of you
I do need to write it all down as I'll be so nervous I'll forget everything and I'm quite shy and quiet so just tend to accept no as an answer
I scored 38 on the aq test so I'll take a print out
I just need to get the courage to make the appointment as I have a fear of making phone calls
God I'm useless sometimes

You can do it Polar .

You sound a lot like me. I always practise phone calls in my head before I make them so I have time to think out what I want to say. Makes it all much less intimidating.

I'm will do it, I can't live the rest of my life like this
I can't do it next week as working everyday, (not just an excuse) but I will try so hard to do it the week after
Thanks again x

It took about two months but that was only because I changed my mind about who I wanted to do the assessment and cancelled the appointment I'd been waiting for. When I called the person I finally decided I wanted to see I had my diagnosis within a week.

As an aside, she looked at the dossier of notes and evidence I had with me and said most people looking for a diagnosis had folders stuffed with the same thing. Apparently it's almost diagnostic in itself.

Wow that was really quick. I think I might call the place where they assess in our area and ask them what their average waiting times are. Very interesting about how common it is to take lots of notes to the assessment. I was actually planning on doing that too, partly because I worry that my mind will go blank, but mainly because I'm so convinced that they'll say I'm not autistic so I feel like I have to make a strong case!

Did your parents/other family have to answer any questions about you? I'm really worried about this. My dm was saying a couple of days ago how awful it must be to have a child with autism and how there definitely isn't anything like that in our family .

Trinpy I didn't have to involve my family but I know others have had to. I'm very glad I didn't as my father would have a similar attitude.

Thanks. I suppose it depends on area. I'll just have to wait and see.

I'm in this situation as well. I have a gp appt at the end of the month so going to talk to her then. I always go to appointments with DH unless we have kids in tow and at least half the time I have to ask him What to say so I don't imagine she will be surprised.

I just hope that the ride isn't too rough for any of us (or our kids who are on it also)