I've name changed for this
I think my 25 y o son my have ADHD - as a child he didn't settle in nursery or school and was eventually excluded at age 12. It was felt he was an attention seeker with behavioural issues. He went to school abroad and returned for college age 17, where he managed 5 GCSE, scraped 3 C's A-levels and finally ended with 3rd at uni. By the time he reached college his behaviour was fine - he wasn't aggressive anymore or rude as previously to others - he was more socially awkward, and found it hard to interact unless with a very close group of friends.
He made friends and has about 3/4 close friends he is comfortable with and goes out with.
Organisation, and anything detailed is very difficult for him to stick to. For example if he completed a credit card application online - some where along the line he became confused so just completed another one and ended up with 2 applications. He has applied for a credit card with his bank who refused as he hasn't been working fulltime for long enough - so instead he goes ahead with the cards offered to people with bad credit rather than being patient and waiting for a few months. he doesn't need the credit card - he lives at home - and has his gym and phone as regular bills and he contributes to me. However much I told him and explained about these types of cards he wouldn't listen or wait and forced and got the card. He can tie his show laces but not thread them.
He is now struggling at work - he works in sales - as he is not making the targets compared to his colleague, they are on at him a lot. My opinion is that organisation in the office will play a part but he won't admit to it.
he has never had a relationship - only the odd one night stand - he tells me " lots of people don't have g/f" but my point is that at 25 he has never had a relationship - not even 3 months - just a handful of one night stands
have asked him to get assessed as I believe this is the reason he didn't get on in school and the ed psych / teachers etc either couldn't or didn't want to diagnose it. I only think this now as I studied education as a mature student and have done my own research. When he does go to Dr;s he doesn't tell them the truth so they can't see it as he presents well. Well spoken, well groomed and articulate. and you wouldn't know unless you were with him for some time. I have realised that he is now going online for porn or sex dating sites and I think that the more he does this the more he will numb himself from any chance of future relationship.
The plus side is that he takes care of himself, goes to the gym or jogs 3 x per week and eats healthy meals. - He won't take part in team games -He is very polite, and when he is happy he can be fun and lovely to be with.
My worry is that he is into on-line and text chat but no-real interaction. He filled in a form at uni for ADHD and because they couldn't see anything he says he has already checked.
Should I just leave him alone and just accept that this is how he is and stop trying to get him to see GP in this conversation as it never ends well - Also if he is assessed - I am hoping it won't be tablets but counselling or mind exercises
Sorry this is a bit all over the place but my main point is that if I am not around he will find it really difficult to navigate home, work, relationships in future. We don't have any family in this country - he doesn't have any contact with his father and I am a single parent.