Oh god, I've been offered an initial appointment for aspergers assessment! Scared now!

[HarryPottersMagicWand]

I can't even remember how I first thought it, but I have done a few online tests and looked at women with Aspergers and it seems to fit. I score highly on all the tests.

I emailed a few places a while ago, some don't come under my area and only offer private which I can't afford. One has now come back and said they kept my details on file and if I am interested they can offer me an initial 1 hour appointment. It's a charity so past this there would be costs involved. I've never mentioned this to my GP for fear of being laughed at but it's something that has been nagging at me for a while. However I manage well in day to say life because I try and hide stuff and act how I 'should'.

I have emailed back saying I am interested. There was a phone number too but I prefer doing things via email so am now waiting. What do I do and say at the appointment? Should I take the scores from the tests as a guide? Will they laugh and think I'm deluded? I come across as quite normal I think but I do have 'quirks' and I have been described as weird/misunderstood etc which is what made me question it in the first place as I am just me and I dont get why I am 'weird'.

Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable, if you would find it easier to explain by taking tests etc go for it! There is no right or wrong way to turn up to assessment, prior to my appointment I was sent forms for friends or partner and myself to fill in so you might be sent something similar?

Thanks. Will take copies of test scores to see if that helps. I think it was the being described as weird that first made me question it, then I mentioned it on here and a lot of replies came back saying they had the same, have aspergers or suspect and linked to quizzes and it went on from there.

I would be happy for DH to have a firm, no other family as they would literally scoff and tell me it was rubbish/don't be so stupid/no such thing etc. Friends, not so sure. I've mentioned it to a couple, in a kind of joking way and one said no way ands she knows a child with it and I'm nothing like her and the others seemed a bit bemused. Because I come across Ok generally I think they don't know me all that well. I hide stuff a lot and put a bit of a front on. I also feel that sometimes I talk in the same way as the person I am talking to and I can change what I think based on what they say, which is quite annoying actually.

I'll have to wait and see.

Feels very scary.

Not going to lie I found the actually diagnosis very stressful, but don't let that put you off as the relief of getting answers far outweights two stressful days, so basically just do whatever it is you need to get your point across, if your not comfortable giving friends forms to fill out (if your one does that) don't and explain you don't think it would be accurate as you mask in front of them, if you'd find it easier to take notes with things you want to remember bring up, go for it! Good luck, finding the answer whatever that may be aspergers or something else or nothing is really a weight off the shoulders as it just knowing (at least in my case) was really good

That's exactly what I think. I need to know one way or the other then I can put it to bed and either know the reasons why or just accept it's how I am. There are books that look interesting but I don't want to look at them as it's not official and I would need to be told officially for me to accept it.

I don't think I have any really close friends now so if they do want to ask them I'll have to say they are not people that know me well enough. The only relative I am close to tends to minimise and say everything is Ok so she probably wouldn't be a good person to ask and she also tends to just agree with whatever the person she is talking to is saying.

Best of luck HarryPotter. I hope it goes well for you. I have a pre-diagnosis assessment on Thursday. Do let us know how you get on.

Good luck HarryPotter.

Thanks. My appointment is at the beginning of December. I haven't even told DH as although he agreed before when I told him my high test scores, he was surprised what I said I was looking into a diagnosis so I haven't bothered to mention this to him. If the costs are too high past the initial appointment, I won't be able to afford it anyway.

I asked what they will want to talk about and they said why I'm there, my history, childhood, illnesses etc. I'm not sure how to begin. I think it sounds presumptuous to say "I think I have aspergers" although blurting stuff out in a direct way is usually my style. I have been thinking about my childhood and I'm not sure there is anything that stands out as me possibly having anything wrong. It's tricky though as my childhood wasn't straight forward at all and I have always put any issues down to that, particularly my food issues and how sensitive I am. I had a chat with my nan yesterday and she remembers how sensitive I was and I'd hide behind a cushion if I was watching anything sad (The Snowman, I still won't watch it, or certain Disney films) and if my dad saw me he would take it away and and tell me not to be a wimp. I learned to hide and push my feelings away quite young. My nan said it's like he was happier if I was 'harder'. Him and my grandad would also say I was thick if I didn't get something (I don't always understand jokes etc or get implications and need it spelled out in black and white) so I had to pretend to get jokes or pretend I got something even if I didn't. This hour will not be long enough for my issues!

I need to write a list I think.

Hi there, I'm wondering if you could give me some pointers as I feel like I'm in a similar situation, not sure if I'm realistically going to get a diagnosis but it's getting to the point where my 'differences' are causing problems at work and so on. I only scored 29 on the online test so I'm not sure if this high enough..? Anyway, I wondered what charity you've found? I don't think I can convince DH to cough up thousands of pounds for a private diagnosis but I really don't want to go to my GP about it either...

I am in Sussex and would travel a couple of hours if necessary. I guess the main reason I want a diagnosis is because a) I'm not coping at work and b) I'm often lonely and struggle to make new friends. At the moment my mind has just been going in crazy loops wondering whether I'm literally just a useless employee and an unlikable person, which is just depressing - or whether I have a clinical difference, which I can accept, and make adjustments for...

I initially contacted the Lorna Wing but I think this will be too expensive for me

Corby?

Sorry for hijacking your thread OP by the way!

Oh yes, thanks! I've sent them an email enquiry

Update if anyone is interested.

Had my appointment this morning. She thinks it's a real possibility. She did warn me that they could say I have attachment issues because of the abuse and bad early childhood and my communication issues could be because I wasn't taught how to communicate properly by my parents but as I have sensory issues, she is leaning more towards the autism side and she said I certainly am showing the signs.

I was so relieved! She believed me and accepted what I had to say. They charge about 1k so it's going to be NHS which I know will take a while but she is writing up her report, for free, and will send a copy to me first then to my GP and the autism service in my area and recommend I am sent for an assessment.

It feels very good to have got the ball rolling!

Harry I live in London, is the charity you contacted in London too? As I'd be interested to have a similar appt so check I'm not barking up the wrong tree before thinking about seeing my GP

And fantastic that your appt was helpful. Well done for gathering the courage to go. Sorry to be abrupt in my last post.

No problem. I didn't see it as abrupt. I do the same, have a thought, know I'll forget so have so get it out straight away then it comes out abrupt (apparently), not sure I see it myself .

It's not London, sorry. Nowhere near. But google self referral autism in your area and see what comes up. That's what I did.

Thanks for the tip.

Really interesting to hear your story.

I also had an odd childhood and have always attributed my weirdness/ feelings of not being normal soley to my upbringing.