School run is killing me

[MagicalRealist]

Cant cope. I hate the stupid bastarding school and all the teachers and office staff and all the NT kids and all of the nice normal mummies

I knew this week would be bad but it's so much worse than I even expected. I'm choked up with stress, I can literally feel it sitting in a lump on my chest and throat. I hate every second of being in that playground and it takes me about 2 hours just to decompress afterwards.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

That sounds utterly hideous. Is there any chance someone else could do the drop offs and collections either in return for a favour or money? Is it all the social stuff that's getting on top of you, or the adminy stuff or just the whole boiling?

It's the social stuff AND the rushing around trying to get organised and to get there on time. I've got attention deficit disorder as well as aspergers so it's a massive, massive struggle to get us all ready and out of the door on time.

That is bad enough on its own without then having to go up to the bloody school and deal with all the noise and faces everywhere and also being painfully conscious of DS1's social isolation and feeling protective and desperately worried for him.

And being conscious of how weird I am and cringing about my oddness even though I know I can't help it. Because even when you know that people shouldn't view you with contempt just because you're erm... different, they do tend to.

It's all just so horrible. It's hard enough dealing with the school as a parent of a child with SEN but having to do it when you've got all of the same sensory and communication and executive functioning issues yourself is a fucking nightmare.

And tomorrow, as well as the usual hellish 2 school runs, there is an event in the middle of the day where parents are expected to come in to the school with a picnic, STAY there for over an hour and have lunch with their DC. And then immediately after that, DS2 has his preschool induction meeting for another hour. And then straight after pick up time, a meeting with DS1's new class teacher, which is important but also terrifying.

Any one of these things would be completely overwhelming and I'm in a state of panic and despair at the thought of having to cope with them all tomorrow 😖😱

Sorry, essay!!

Can't get anyone else to do the school run, unfortunately 😬

That lot does sound completely overwhelming, I'm not surprised you're having trouble with it all. Something that's helped me in the past is to write down times for things like if I have to be there at ten i need to leave at 9.30 so i have to get dressed at 9.15 and breakfast at 9 and so on. I hope that's not being patronising, i have honestly kept countdowns like that and even worked them out depending on different buses.

Would the school excuse you from the picnic or let you stagger the meetings out? What would happen if you just sat in the car for the school run and got out when the doors actually opened?

It all sounds vile, I'm probably no help.

you have my sympathy. I used to hate them as well. I'd hide in the car until the last minute then dash out and just stick by a wall staring into my phone.

Can you get everything ready the night before and stick it by the front door? Make checklists on the fridge?

Try to limit the social stuff and only go to the essential things.

It is a horrible feeling knowing that people think you're odd and seeing it in their faces and reactions. Terribly embarrassing. Be kind to yourself. You're probably managing a heck of a lot better than they would if they had these difficulties.

It does get better as dcs get older. You can send them into school by themselves once they're about 7. Also, you could explain to school about your autism and see if they'd be willing to let you pick your dcs up away from the playground or something.

Headphones and dark glasses? Focus on your children, get them through the door and then just walk away!

It is hideous though

I hear you. I used to time it so I could get there at the very last minute and DC could just walk in no waiting but in the end I realised that this just makes you feel worse as it's busier and chaotic if you're late. I actually agree with Polter get there as early as you can before everyone else BE FIRST! It's calm you can pick a quiet spot and feel confident and in control.

Sorry to hear things are hard for you at the moment.

The morning drop (on foot) is fine, well, apart from AS son going all White Rabbit on me. Regarding the afternoon pick up, I just tend to sit on a seat way away from everyone and write emails/updating my calendar on the phone. My NT DH does all of the social stuff

I also tend to wear dark glasses/hats etc.