Friends- meeting similar people

[SerPants]

Hi everyone

This is my first time posting but have been lurking on these boards for quite a while. I have never gone for a formal diagnosis but feel like I have found my people on some of the aspie threads. I'm not sure if I'd meet the criteria but definitely have some of the same characteristics.

There seems to be a recurring theme of loneliness and isolation. I have found it difficult to make or keep female friends in adulthood. Possibly because I don't have a lot in common with many NT women, and find small talk draining. I think I'm a generally nice and thoughtful person, but I find a lot of social stuff which everyone else seems to sail through with ease completely baffling.

As my main hobby is a heavily male-dominated one I don't meet many women with the same interests but would like at least one or two good female friends to share things with.

Is there anyone in the South Yorkshire area who would be open to chats online or even an aspie-friendly meet up now and again? Maybe a film (I also have a secret liking for musical theatre which my DP does not share!) or quiet pub or something else non-overwhelming?

I hate to think of people being lonely, but clearly not everyone enjoys socialising in conventional ways.

I wish there was someone near me. I'm so lonely, with no prospects of ever having any friends

I will, thanks

Thanks for your kind message Polter, I may return to lurking or de-lurk and post on the support thread.

I don't know what an appropriate venue for non NTs would be anyway. Library?

Sorry to hear you feel lonely itchy, I hope you find someone nearby or at least here online who can help you feel less isolated. If I was in the north east I would totally be up for a meet-up.

Love your post! I'm in the same boat! Strong aspie qualities but I find nt people quite difficult. People often describe me as cold and aloof 😕 I'd love to chat to new people online or IRL. Sadly not a Yorkshire person but a southerner however I do live in East Yorkshire for six years so wondering if I could have honourary status?!

I feel the same. I have zero in common with most women. Trying to talk or make friends feels like watching a car crash happen.
A woman told me she was selling her house, the other day. (My special subject)I said 'I know, I like the layout and you have a nice bathroom' I thought it went well and was proud of myself. Until I got home and realised she was horrified!!

I am in south east but have family in South Yorkshire.

Or east mids. Geography is not my strong point

Caramel I limit what I say these days for fear of getting it wrong. A classic of mine was a group of mum's at the our class door one was saying about all the art pictures that come home and trying to have the save amount per child that when she had died they wouldn't think one was more favoured than the other. I piped up "you'll be dead so you won't have to worry". Face palming myself. Sigh. I limit what i say as I'm never sure whether i am crossing the line so most people think I'm quite cold and aloof.

Well I would have agreed with you. Practical and true.
I go through phases of trying to make an effort, then I say all the wrong things. So I shut up. Then I try again.
Horrible cycle.
I wonder what the best approach actually is.
The only thing people can really talk to me about is factual things, like what did the letter say, what time is X etc.
Feel like a robot.

I feel like that. Also very on the edge. I sound very forced unless I'm super comfortable with the person or topic. It's exhausting.