Stims

[UnderDeck3]

My DD stims a lot more than I did and in more stereotypical and obvious ways (I was a cougher and still an a finger flicker/lip biter).
She is a flappy bird and has a 'hoppy' walk which is lopsided and seems to be getting habituated to it.
Same with walking 'inside the tiles' it's a kids game but she gets 'stuck' once she starts and I've seen her friend get very frustrated with her over it and we've almost lost her in a shopping mall over it as she just keeps going.
Im concerned it will a) give people an excuse to isolate her and b) the loppy walk will actually cause her to develop asymmetrically.

I'm so torn between (very gently) 'nipping it in the bud'(as I know what I am like when I develop a new 'habit') vs not wanting to restrict her natural expression of her feelings.
Did any of you have your stims restricted as a child and how do you feel about it in hindsight.

I was a thumb sucking, hair twiddling, blanket stroking little sensory seeker and was told off constantly My mum tried everything to stop me and it was horrible. And it didn't work.

That said, other people's habits are annoying and it's difficult to be around so while I find myself not telling DS to spin in circles when we're out, I do tell DD2 to stop biting the skin on her fingers. But not often and in a kind, concerned way, I hope.

DD1 blows her nose constantly and that drives me crazy but I keep that to myself.

yeah I used to suck my fingers and I had to stop (teeth issues). I went on to bite my nails..not nearly as relaxing. sucking my fingers used to help me a lot and I never ever found a replacement for it!

I forgot about finger biting. I still do that myself .
I'm working on a keyword to help her steady herself when she's in a flap hop twitch frenzy at the moment. It's helping a bit. The smaller stuff I'm not too fussed about. It is what it is. The big stuff that can be seen from the other end of the street - that's my concern.

I was a hand clapper and flapper as a child (still am ) or as the other kids used to say at school I "danced around a lot".

Tbh I'm not sure what the solution is. I always had my hand clapping and flapping pointed out (99.9% of the time I didn't even know I was doing it until it was pointed out which I still can't figure out) and told to stop doing it which I believe I don't do it in public any more.

In a way I am glad that it was sorted out at a young age as it's not socially acceptable to stand there clapping your hands in public and as I got older and especially as an adult I would just end up facing more ridicule which obviously I don't want. On the other hand it annoys me that I wasn't just left alone because I wasn't hurting anyone. Who cares that I clapped my hands? Why would anyone care? Obviously it helped me so why should I have been told to stop it just because of how society doesn't like it or accept people the way they are?

On the whole though I think I would say to try and stop it. It's bad but people don't like people who are different .

^and I believe I have stopped doing it in public.

That's exactly it Toad, I want to help her not be ostracised more, but I don't want to squash her natural mannerisms either or for her to feel I don't accept her. If it was me and her on a desert island she could flap away except near my face which is annoying