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Does my DH have ADHD?

6 replies

WoIsMe · 04/05/2016 17:03

I'm wondering whether my DH might have ADHD and was hoping someone could have a look over this list of behaviours to see whether it looks like ADHD or not.

Sometimes forgets entire conversations from only a day or two before.
Always has to be doing something - there are no quiet evenings or weekends.
Always late for appointments, birthday parties, etc.
Trouble managing his money to the point where he has hidden credit card bills from me because he knows we can't afford to pay them.
Interrupts me when I'm talking BUT often accuses me of interrupting him.
Can't do anything at the same time as having a conversation, he has to stop moving and focus on the person speaking.
Leaves a mess behind him such as wrappers, empty mugs, tools that he has finished with.
Goes from calm to shouty in about five seconds with the kids.
Drinks caffeine all day from waking up until after dinner then alcohol until he goes to bed.
Can't cope with plans being changed.
Never writes anything on the calendar or looks at the calendar.
Travels abroad frequently but doesn't understand why I would like to know his flight and hotel details (so I often only know what country he is in but not what city or what time he will be getting back home).
Is very messy - leaves his clothes on the floor, lid off toothbrush, drawers/cupboard doors open.
Has trouble with prioritisation and will waste time on nonessential activities.
Can't assess how much time things will take, e.g. starting packing the day before moving house.
We also have two children as a result of him 'forgetting' to use a condom (which I didn't mind because I wanted a big family.)

I'm sorry that this list looks a little negative. He does have lots of redeeming features too: he is loving, considerate, happy to take care of things for me or spoil me with a special meal or take the kids out so I can have some time to myself. But I want to be really certain about whether I think he has ADHD or not before I broach the topic with him as I know he will react very negatively to the suggestion.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 04/05/2016 18:09

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WoIsMe · 04/05/2016 18:50

I'm reasonably sure that he doesn't have dyslexia since he could read before he started school and his spelling and grammar are both excellent.

I think the extent of the problem is severe because of the effect on his life. He has run up credit card bills of over £1000 three times in the past year and just ignored the bills and kept spending. That kind of financial ineptitude seems out of place in a man of his age and intelligence.

The lateness is an issue in that we are often late to our own children's birthday parties!

He isn't able to relax to the point that he has arrived home from an overnight flight and started vacuuming or decided to go out shopping when most people would be resting and trying to get over the jet lag.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 04/05/2016 19:01

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WoIsMe · 04/05/2016 19:21

The caffeine seems to help him if anything. If I drank the amount of coffee he does in the evening then I would be awake all night.

I don't think there's any chance of an official diagnosis. What I'm hoping is to find ways to improve matters.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 04/05/2016 19:32

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PolterGoose · 04/05/2016 19:32

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