Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnetters with disabilities

Please see our webguide of suggested organisations for parents to support children with learning difficulties.

Original poster

I want to be normal

17 replies

NewYearNewToads · 24/03/2016 00:50

I'm sick of acting all the time and having to pretend that I'm a normal when pretty much everyone can see that I'm not.

I don't even feel like a human most of the time. I just feel like a robot going through the motions but not really feeling anything or knowing why.

I don't know how to be a human being Sad

If there was a pill that could cure ASD that suddenly became available tomorrow I would take it without hesitation.

Am I the only one who feel like this?

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 24/03/2016 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience · 24/03/2016 15:09

I dont think anyone is truely "normal" like we think is "normal"!

Virtually everyone I know has baggage of some description!

I have always thought of myself as different from many people but I have grown to realise that its ok to be who I am! It took time though!

Is there anything in particular you are finding hard at the moment?

Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 24/03/2016 23:03

I know there is no such thing as normal which is why I hate that word, but there is a way that society expects you to be and to behave.

I try to act the way society expects as best as I can but I actually don't think I'm very good at it because I am always known as the weird one.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 24/03/2016 23:04

Is there anything in particular you are finding hard at the moment?

I'm getting a lot of criticism from family at the moment for the way I am and how I do things.

I can't take all the sneering anymore Sad

OP posts:
Thorium23 · 25/03/2016 10:01

You're getting criticism from your family? Sad that's terrible. Do they know you have asc?

PolterGoose · 25/03/2016 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cookingwine · 26/03/2016 11:35

Good days bad days here. What are they sneering at? Do you have a diagnosis? I came to realise that having said loud and clear that I have at least one foot on the spectrum (2 on bad days definitely) has helped a lot with my family. And the hardest was me loathing myself (before I found out about ASD) for struggling with apparently easy things.

Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 27/03/2016 00:23

Yes they know I have a diagnosis.

My parents tend to be good about it and are usually supportive and understanding but then there are other family members who are not.

I have family members who don't really believe I have ASD and think I could be normal if I tried hard enough.

My grandmother for instance doesn't believe it. The other day I had to listen to her and an aunt sneer at me and make fun of me non stop with my mum giggling in the background and going along with it even though she knows how much it hurts me.

They like to make fun of my social skills (or lack of) or whatever else they can think of at the time. Every time I see them it always turns into a "let's criticize Toads" game.

I have things I like to do to make me feel better. Right now (and for a while actually) it's been watching the same episodes of the X Files on repeat. No idea why. Just helps me. They were making fun of me for that the other day. One of the things mentioned was that it was immature and I needed to grow up and I should be able to deal with things without resorting to stupid things to get me through the day and make me feel better.

Then it turned into slagging me off because I'd handled that social situation wrong and this social situation wrong Sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 27/03/2016 00:25

Where is the logic behind being supportive, encouraging and understanding when you're on your own but then later laughing along with the criticizing match other people are giving and not making an effort to stand up to them?

I don't get it.

That's my mum btw.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 27/03/2016 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cookingwine · 29/03/2016 22:42

They obviously don't get it. Your mum could be still wishing you would be "normal" and has not finished her journey into accepting your condition fully. It is difficult. I hope things will get better for you. I totally get watching the same episode of x files btw.

LauraMipsum · 01/04/2016 22:13

If normal is being that bitchy about people behind their backs then I want no part of normal.

I'm sorry they're being like that with you Flowers

Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 15/04/2016 01:12

And now my parents think I should have a carer or someone else to support me Sad

I don't understand, I only need help with some things sometimes Sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewYearNewToads · 15/04/2016 01:14

Because they're not going to be around to help me forever even though they're both relatively young (47 and 49).

This is so embarrassing and patronising. I'm an adult and want to be able to do things on my own.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 15/04/2016 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SingaSong12 · 28/04/2016 00:33

toads sorry you are being treated badly. There is no excuse for this and I think it reveals a lot more about your relatives including your grandmother and aunt then about you. I'm glad you do have some support.

I sometimes have sane feelings of wishing I more "normal". I accept there is no definition of normal but wish I could fit in more easily to what most people do.

Greenyogagirl · 27/05/2016 19:42

Hi X
You're not on your own, I had a very not normal childhood, not normal teens and when I got married and had a baby I thought I'd found 'normal' only for hubby to be mental and baby to have a plethora of health problems. Through all of this I've figured out there is just me and if people don't like me or think I'm weird that's fine I'm living life for me not for anyone else.
Do what makes you happy, be true to yourself and you'll attract like minded people ❤️
I'm on the spectrum, my son is severely autistic 😊

Oh and with a cure you wouldn't be you so embrace the unique youness X

New posts on this thread. Refresh page