Ouchy tired mummy - how to explain?

[NotCitrus]

I've got various intermittent painful conditions and other things that mean I'm often exhausted to the extent of not being able to interact with dc, or just unable to do things if it involves getting up. Have at least got beyond the nappy stage but a mischievous just-4yo and older dc with ASD can be tough.

7yo wants to know when I'll be better and doesn't get that I won't be - though I shouldn't get any worse either. How do I explain that I'm not just lazy or breaking promises when I can't fulfil plans? My mother had similar issues which we didn't talk about, so for years I thought she was just crap and didn't want me, so I really want to avoid my kids coming to the same conclusions!

Tips on dealing with pain/exhaustion episodes and children greatly appreciated! Beyond CBeebies, Minecraft and roping in other adults...

When you give a definitive plan and then can't go ahead, children will see it as breaking a promise - especially if it happens reasonably often. Only when they look back with the benefit of age and emotional maturity will they understand it wasn't intentional.
Stop making promises; we'll do XXX tomorrow if I'm well enough is far better than we'll do XXX tomorrow followed by 'we can't do XXX today'.

Age appropriate honesty is your best route, does your 7yo understand their ASD? If so you might be able to draw a parallel between them needing to manage their symptoms and you managing yours.

Colouring in, reading (you to them, them to you, solo or any combination there of), 'build mummy a model from Lego/duplo', have a special toy box for when you need to rest so it's a treat for them to be allowed to play with those things - anything they can play with independently.

Thanks Andro. Obviously I try to make as few promises as possible, but as much as I caveat anything, postponing plans never goes down well. It's when routine gets disrupted that I really feel bad - eg usually I read bedtime stories on the days I'm home at bedtime, but if I'm too exhausted then MrNC or other family member will put the kids to bed. Or I normally walk the kids to school, but about once a month need a neighbour to take ds - so there's the expectation that I'll be doing the school run and 8am meltdowns don't help.

Having special toys only allowed when I'm resting is a good idea that had gone a bit by the wayside once dd found the stash! Playing on my phone is about the only bribery that gives me more than a minute's peace - maybe should invest in a tablet as well so both children can play at once.

Dd is going through one of those phases where she won't stay in bed in the evening and if there's another adult in the house, will demand them. So even when I'm fine, putting her to bed involves MrNC sneaking in the back door and hoping she doesn't notice. Hoping it's nearly the end of this phase...