I feel like getting an AS diagnosis as an adult has been pointless

[adultaspie]

I am in my twenties and I recently got diagnosed with Aspergers. I actively sought out the diagnosis because I thought it might be helpful to me. It hasn't been, really. It has actually made me feel disappointed that the signs of AS weren't noticed when I was a child. I have read that early diagnosis is crucial with autism and AS because by adulthood, a person's thoughts, perceptions and behaviors have become too deeply entrenched to be changed, so that therapies and treatments are of limited use. In my case, after over 20 years of missing social cues, not understanding sarcasm and jokes, speaking with a monotone voice, being socially awkward and aloof, and struggling to fit in and make friends (along with non-social stuff such as sensory issues, adhering to the same routines, and being unable to cope with disruption to those routines), I feel it is too late for me to change. Is there anyone on MN who got diagnosed later on in life? If so, did you find the diagnosis helpful at all?

I think you need to look further into the future to be honest before you decide if it is useful or not!

As you get older responsibilities change and adulting can be really hard work!! If you have kids you will have to communicate with schools, GPs and a thousand other people!

If you are constantly struggling with these things and fucking up frequently you might find it helpful to understand why that is happening!

Only my opinion of course!

Good luck

If there are skills you think you need, it is never too late to learn them and nothing is entrenched.

However having a dx means you are protected in law from any discrimination that stems from your not having those skills, or not having perfected them iyswim.

The reality of course is that regardless of the law you can still be at a disadvantage at times and that's the context of the culture and society we live in and one that many are trying to change.

And it IS changing. As shite as things are for kids with AS now they are better than they were. You may not have found your dx useful as a kid either. Early intervention was less available than it is now.

You sound like you are angry about how you have been failed. It won't make you feel better to know that most people your age were, but hopefully a little less isolated or personally unlucky.

Hi OP
we've moved this to the right topic for you, as requested
Kindest
MNHQ

I was reading my NAS workplace assessment today with DH and saying exactly the same thing as the OP. Yep, it's horrible being ASC at times and following my dx aged 39 six months ago I'm deeply clinically depressed.

That said, it's a grieving process. First came the elation and the 'lightbulb' moments and now it's anger, disbelief and worry about the future.

The ASC ladies on here talk a lot of sense. You're not alone.

OP you are a similar age to my dd for whom I'm seeking a dx. Don't feel bad that no-one intervened for you earlier, even if you'd had the dx, any provisions could have been next to nothing. Have a read of the Goose and Carrot threads, you'll see from those that it really does seem to be very hit and miss for all kids with HFA, they're helped if wherever they are educated 'get' their particular needs and help them. Some have dx and all the 'right' paperwork yet the provision for them is abysmal.

You said "I have read that early diagnosis is crucial with autism and AS because by adulthood, a person's thoughts, perceptions and behaviors have become too deeply entrenched to be changed, so that therapies and treatments are of limited use."

That's only a theory, it's not an irrefutable fact set in stone, it's not true of absolutely every person with HFA

"I feel it is too late for me to change"
It's never too late to change, but if change is too terrifying a prospect, then think about it never being too late to learn some new coping strategies.

Life throws unexpected and often difficult things at us all the time, irrespective of where we are on the neurodiversity path.

Please don't see yourself as a bunch of deficits, all the reports and things seem to highlight those in such a negative way, but they are not the sum of who you are. Different does not mean inferior.