How do you cope with Christmas?

[hiddenhome2]

I find xmas stressful and annoying. The enforced jollity and socialising

I've offended MIL over something recently and now can't face the xmas meal as we have her over to our place now It's a huge strain putting on a face for it all and I don't have the energy anymore.

I just want to run away.

Me and Dh tell everyone we aren't leaving the house as it's unfair on kids but people can pop in for an hour. Mil and my parents generally do everyone else stays away.

I am trying to break away from the stress this year!

I have told a massive lie to my sister who between her and my niece made our day miserable last year and then told me I was rude and selfish!!

I dont want to be bullied into another miserable day but if she finds out I have lied she will go bonkers!!
I am nearly 50 FFS!!

Why does it have to be so stressful?

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I've only ever done christmas with immediate family anyway.
There was always at least one massive argument or screaming/running to room crying/wishing i'd never been born.
Very overwhelming with all the presents and noise and opening etc.
Actually thinking about this shit in adulthood really brings back long-forgotten experiences.
And it makes me put my dad firmly on the spectrum too.

Anyway, boxing day with uncles/aunts/grandparents for tea wasn't so bad, if a little hectic

Seriously thinking as I write all this...
Mum has never particularly liked socialising and gets stressed at it all, so I wonder whether the reason we didn't do huge gatherings was also her protecting herself (and in turn, us), and if that means we don't have horrid flashbacks and experiences of huge gatherings ending in meltdowns.

Christmas these days is just me and dh and dd - midnight mass followed by a quiet Christmas day.
I've always associated the day with heightened senses anyway - as I say, always ends up in a big bang, so prevention is just not doing big!

I had mil on phone other day now every year for Christmas I give my parents and in laws personal gifts that are about the grandchildren like this year they have a canvas picture of all 3 both dm and mil have a calender with pictures of the children each month, my dad has a mug w

Sorry posted before finished.
My dad has a mug with picture of grandchildren on and fill has a mouse mat with picture of grandchildren on they all each have a gift set to. We do this as we afford a lot of family functionse Dh ds1 and 2 struggle badly with noise and being social. Not sure how ds3 is he's only 11 months. So I like to send personal gifts so they can feel some sort of connection with us now my parents know we struggle so come visit us a lot my in laws we barely see my fil has only seen ds2 4 times in his 2 year like and he's only seen ds3 once. When mil phoned she was telling me how her dd gets her £50 to spend at m and s and she loves it as she likes to spend it on food. And that she's not keen on getting any personal gifts. Do you think she's trying to say she wants £50 m and s vouchers of us? For one I can't. Afford to spend £50 on just her. 2 I really can't bring myself to give some a voucher that I know they will spend on food. 3 I really can't understand why someone wouldn't like personal gifts of there grandchildren. Am I think this all wrong? Am I being to much with out realising it?

I recall when DH and me moved into this house - we had my DMIL and DBIL to stay. They brought no change of clothes, not even a toothbrush each. My DMIL stated "I ain't got no teef." They stayed for two days and nights. Arfgghhh.

Last year I cornered my DB and enquired why he'd never hosted our DM and DSF. Apparently his wife's family take precedence. Nice. We hosted my parents and my ASC DS threw up his Brussels straight onto the festive tablecloth.

This year: we're hosting my parents. DMIL and DBIL are ensconced in their respective residential homes. There's also a moratorium on Brussel Sprouts.

I don't cope. Not really.

I hate shopping at the best of times but it's so much worse at Christmas. All the extra noises, the bright lights, the overcrowded shops...

I feel like a nervous wreck and I'm literally counting down the days until it is over.

It's the build up that does it more I think. I don't mind the day itself as I don't have to leave the house.

Toads do online shopping. Honestly, it's revolutionised Xmas for me. I haven't been to any shops at all - apart from the supermarket - at Xmas for years.

I actually do most of my shopping online these days however there are still a few instances that mean I have no choice but to enter a shopping centre or town centre.

I also hate how everything is so unpredictable. Everything changes and everything is so uncertain.

I struggle with present buying from the point of view that i spend ages thinking about what to get people and what will make them happy and stress for hours over whether they will like it and I will read pages of reviews to see if the present i have chosen is any good.

So how was everyone's day?

As expected, mine was actually pretty uneventful and stress free.

It's just the run up to it that stresses me out.

Bearable. I managed not to rise to any crap (such as the "anyone who is an atheist is just plain stupid" gem) by just pretty much ignoring anything even mildly controversial. That way meltdowns lie, as i just cannot get my point across and get all flustered. Meh.

OMG - my NT DB's twattiness about presents upset everyone and my DM blamed herself.

Just me, dh and ds2 this year. No relatives, and I was securely installed in my wee house with the fire on and all my kitties. Very nice it was too