teenaged daughters

[muchado]

My teenaged daughter says she hates everything about me; won't see me, won't even talk to me on the phone and I just don't understand why when I've always done my best for her. My own family abused and neglected me for 16 years; and I would have given everything to be loved as I love her. But she hates me- I just don't get it.

Teenagers are striving for independence and individuality. Letting our children grow up is the most important thing we can ever do for them.

If you give her a bit of space but let her know that you are still the wonderful mum she has always known, maybe she will stop fighting against you.

It's not you... it's natural progression.

Sending my very best vibes your way

Thanks Shockers. Thats what I thought; and am taking a step back at this stage so that she has room to work out what she wants. Have also tried to let her know that I'm still here for her; but she inevitably responds with verbal abuse- so I'm not sure what to do because if things carry on like this then she will one day accuse me of not being there when she needed me. Catch 22.

You might find more support in the 'teen' section in Parenting. Lots of people with 'challenging' teens there, and advice etc.

My big girls are now 21 and 24. I maintain that daughters should be caged and kept in the loft from 14-18 and only be brought down for high days and holidays.

And if you asked them they would tell you they hated me - I felt the same about my mum and she about hers.

We fought like cats and one left home more than once.

HOWEVER ask them now and they would tell you they feel very differently. The one that left home has just moved back again (although the latest moving out was under happy circumstances)

We are very secure in the knowledge that we love each other immensely and that we could go through the fighting and come out as mature loving adults.

I am bound to say I think it's almost a right of passage - I hope this helps a little