Live webchat with Ann Sinnott, author of Breastfeeding Older Children, Friday 26 Mar, noon-1pm

[GeraldineMumsnet]

By popular demand we have Ann Sinnott joining us for a webchat this Friday at noon.

Ann is a former magazine and newspaper journalist, who went freelance when her daughter was born. She breastfed her daughter until she was six and a half, and spent two years researching and writing Breastfeeding Older Children.

Hope you can join us on Friday 26 March. If you can't, please post your question here as usual, and Ann will do her best to get through as many as possible.

Thanks

Hello and thank you for coming in for a chat.

I bf DS1 for a year and am currently still bf DS2 (3.2) once or twice a day.

I went back to work (in Education) when the babies were 3 months old and have worked full-time ever since.

I really resent the image of extended breastfeeding as "hippyish" or "martyrdom" or "alternative" and think it does a lot of damage and puts a lot of people off.

In your research, did you meet people from all walks of life who ext. bf or was there a certain "type"?

Because I feel totally alienated in my local bf group (quite a few ext bfers there) because:
a) I work outside the home
b) I nightweaned DS2 at around 14mths

Thanks!

thanks for answering my question Ann

Ann, thanks very much for your advance answers and for coming on for the chat

Wow I am looking forward to this glad I remembered it!
I am bfing ds who is 2.3yo. My DH is now starting to put pressure on me to stop, saying he is too big/old But he loves it, and will cry and plead if I try to refuse him. I managed to night wean him a few months back, that happened quite easily, and I have started to try an distract him from asking during the day, but especially when we are at home he know what he wants
I am happy to continue, but at times I do find it irritating, especially if I have sat down to do something, but I would like him to self-wean.
I am also having problems with getting him to eat food - he has a very limited diet, won't touch any veg or fruit except bananas, and veg has to be blended in to his meals before he will eat it. But with me still bfing, do I need to worry too much about his nutritional intake? He seems healthy enough, is hardly ever ill apart from the odd cold!

Hello Everybody!
Will try my best to answer all your questions but don't promise I won't get confused with sequence!

BertieBotts
The ?filling-up? on bm is a common comment (many examples in BOC). See my earlier response to young children?s varying need for solids (sorry, am beginning to lose track of what I said to whom, and I don?t want to use up time by tracking down). Breastfeeding mothers have no reason to worry when their toddlers don?t eat ? unlike non-breastfeeding mothers! Why do we [culture] think it?s desirable to remove the food children want and replace with food substances children will not always eat? Struggles with food, as with crying, are regarded as normal and inevitable aspects of childhood. Nothing is further from the truth! Trust your healthy child, and remember health visitors can only advise not force.

CoupleofKooks
Many thanks!

missjackson
Trust your healthy child! ? and remember WHO recommendation on duration. See my previous responses on this issue. I found feeding myself quite a chore in the first year or so but I settled down ? diet at any stage in our lives is important; and we are lucky enough to live in a part of the world where food is plentiful and affordable! I would then, and do now, occasionally take a multi-vit, but not on a regular basis.

PinkDawn
Yes, a long way still to go!

Getting the UK govt to endorse WHO recommendation on duration is crucial.

If you have time, could you tell us your daughter's thoughts on nursing?

thanks

Hello Ann.

I met you briefly at the Cambridge book launch/signing with Gabrielle Palmer. I was there with my toddler who proved herself a bit of a handful!

I don't have a question - your book and MN tend to answer all of those.

Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading your book (read it all the evening I got back from the book launch!), and was grateful for your comments about eating - my DD still doesn't eat much, but I'm much more relaxed about it now.

Luckily my DH is super-supportive of bf-ing, and is happy to let DD self-wean, and I don't give a rat's arse about other people's opinions of it.

The HCP in my area seem a reasonable bunch; I've not seen my HV since DD was 4 weeks old, and my GP (a man) encourages the bf-ing and seems unfazed by it, even if I bf DD in his office.

I think that it is undoubtedly the support of my DH and the attitude of HCP which make it easier for us to go on. It's in those areas that much public-opinion work needs to be done, I would think.

At the moment, my DD has a tummy bug and can't or won't eat anything, but she's bf-ing like mad. I'm so so so so glad I'm still bf-ing her - no worries about dehydration, etc.

Thanks for coming on MN.

Thanks so much Ann.

And so true about mealtimes. I would tear my hair out with DD1 when she wouldn't eat much. And she is a strapping (almost) 3 yr old now.
Mealtimes with her sister, who has a similar bird-like appetite, are a very relaxed affair as I know better now.

Help me! My daugther is 10 and still breastfeeds a lot, as a young baby. We cosleep as well. We have offering a bottle/cup since she was 6 and she is refusing it. She comes for my breast all the time even after she has just finished her meal. Im also not having much milk to offer her. Anyway im completely lost.

I agree with Penthesilia that partner's support is often decisive.

The DC are very lucky that DH thinks bf is the most beautiful thing in the world and doesn't feel threatened in any way by it - I have never felt any pressure from him to give up, only encouragement to keep going.

I know others are not so lucky.

Hello Ann

I have no experience of bfing an older child, dd1 went on to bottles at 7mo and dd2 is only 6mo (although I hope to feed her for ages yet)

I am currently doing a breastfeeding peer supporter course which I am finding very informative and interesting, however I am finding that it is very much geared towards feeding younger babies (which of course is very important and necessary) and has had very little discussion on feeding through toddlerhood and beyond.

Would you have any advice I could call on if asked to support someone who wants to feed an older child and is coming up against social barriers? I have RL and online friends whose experience I could call on but I would be interested to hear your advice. Do you think the peer supporter course should have more time devoted to extended bf or do you think that it's beyond the remit of a peer supporter? I shall be asking the question of the course providers at my next session now that I've thought about it!

jamaisjedors

The notion that sustained bfdg mothers are martyrs is a particularly pernicious myth that needs clobbering! Many mothers in BOC spoke of empowerment and increased self-esteem and self-confidence; this was also my experience - I never felt more powerful in my life!

As the survey for BOC showed, sustained bfdg women do indeed come from all walks of life.

I hate the judging that goes on between women, it's unnecessary and pointless, and nothing is achieved ? except mothers of young children are made to feel bad, which is no good for anyone, least of all the children...

The culture needs to be attacked and changed, not individuals! Women have long struggled with difficult choices, and still do. We all live in different circumstances ? no-one IMO has ground to stand on and moralise.

Absolutely Penthesileia. DH is my biggest champion. I cannot imagine how hard it would be without his support.

agree re supportive partners

my DH asked me if i would feed until DD was 2 years old - i think he has been sneaking onto MN

BouncingTurtle
I'd urge you to get hold of a copy of BOC and get your husband to read Ch 5 Fathers. Unlike mothers who have groups and like-minded friends, fathers are usually isolated and full of fear, for their children/ their partners/ their relationships with both.

Our culture regards the cries and pleadings of children undergoing forced weaning as indications that they are developmentally delayed or spoilt. They are so misunderstood! As a culture, we need to begin to listen to children and attend. There are reasons why they wish to continue to bfd. One of my biggest hopes for BOC is that it triggers much-needed research!

See other responses re children's varying need of solid food. Trust your healthy child!

Hi Ann
Thanks for coming here. In your research did you find any one reason why mothers kept on breastfeeding? I'm tandem feeding my 4 1/2yr old and 16mth old. It has it's ups and downs with DD1 but overall I do it because she has such a strong emotional need for it (& will strongly object if i were to even try and say no!)

Thank you Ann, I will definitely do that.

I suspect he has been listening to his ex - who has been telling him that I should have stopped long before now!

I am currently still breastfeeding my DS who is nearly one year old. However DH and I now plan to try for baby number 2 and I wondered if you had any information or advice about trying to get pregnant whilst still breastfeeding?

Thanks!

Bootymum - DD1 was 16mths and having several breastfeeds a day/night when I got pregnant with her sister.
I did use a digital ovulation monitor to increase my chances.

Hi Ann

Im currently bf my 19 month old daughter, only at night and this is throughout the night on demand as she co-sleeps too.
My question is this:
I don't want to give up breastfeeding but I dont want to continually feed through the night as its exhausting!

I hope you have some inspirational ideas!

Many thanks!