Zoomchat with Victoria Smith on her new book 'Hags' - 27th March

[NicolaDMumsnet]

Hello,

We are pleased to announce a Zoomchat with feminist journalist and writer Victoria Smith about her new book Hags.

Victoria will be chatting with Justine about the book and answering your questions on Monday 27th March from 8 to 9pm, and you can book your place now by registering for free here.

Please post your questions below ahead of the zoomchat. Please note that we will be closing the thread on Monday morning so please ensure you have posted your questions before then. If there is time, there will also be an opportunity to ask additional questions live on the night.

If you join the Zoomchat, your camera will be turned off by default. Your screen name might be visible, so consider whether you’re happy to use your RL name or want to use your MN posting name or something else entirely.

Places are limited (only 100 available) so register now to book your place.

About Victoria Smith:

Victoria is a regular contributor to The Critic and other publications, focusing on women's issues, parenting and mental health. Her newsletter, The OK Karen, about midlife women's experiences of feminism, was launched last year.

In her latest book Hags she explores why middle-aged women (and older) are treated with such active disdain. Each chapter takes a different theme - care work, beauty, violence, political organisation, sex - and explores it in relation to middle-aged women's beliefs, bodies and choices. She traces the attitudes she describes back to the same anxieties about older women that drove Early Modern witch hunts, and explores the very specific reasons why this type of misogyny is so powerful today. This is a righteous, insightful and clever read.

What's your take on the hijacking of modern feminism, particularly the GC aspect, by the far right and the fact that women who are trying to protect their sex-based rights are being assimilated with discrimination and bigotry?

Any chance this will be recorded to watch back after? I'd love to join but I'll be working.

What's your favourite biscuit?

I was interested in your discussion of the "mother-in-law" trope in Hags. But men's experience of a mother-in-law (wife's mother) is often very different from a woman's experience with her husband's mother. Is this something you could explore?

How can we older women combat the widely held belief by doctors that all our health problems are down to our age and also why very few women are offered pain relief when going through gynaecology related examinations

What advice would you give to women who fit the demographic described in your book, but want to be more inclusive and compassionate towards our trans sisters? How can we help them feel comfortable living the life they want to at the same age as we are?

Really enjoyed your book. Like a PP I am concerned that the GC movement is hijacked by the far right - but not just that. What is the point of knowing what a woman is if you can’t stand up on the issues that define women’s lives. Miriam Cates et al are awful on issues like abortion while Humza for example is very good. Can there be some acknowledgment of the the challenges here?

Hi, Victoria. Love your columns and am enjoying Hags so far.

Seems to me that a rejection of the Mother is perhaps a natural part of growing up? And hopefully temporary.

How can we protect girls from pernicious peer culture while allowing them space to explore the world on their own terms?

Hello,
I would like to know, what do you believe if anything, can older women do to change the perception and be treated with respect ?

Why do you think so many men want to shut down women's rights by pretending to be women, but still using sexist slurs to do so and also trying to link women's rights groups to the far right as a way of shutting them down ?

Tina Fey said “[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to fuck her anymore.” Could this work for the definition of a hag: a woman who keeps talking even after no-one wants to fuck her anymore?

How do you feel about how your book has been promoted by big chains?

(Waving my
broomstick at the manager of my local big chain persuaded him to order half a dozen copies)

Firstly Victoria, what a great idea for a book. Thank you for joining us.
My workplace is in the process of launching a menopause cafe. I’m not sure what that is and I’m also not sure I would be comfortable attending. I suppose they are trying to do something but I feel it’s a box ticking exercise instead of genuine help and support for perimenopausal and menopausal women. What do you think?

Am a big fan - loved “Hags”.

What spaces do you recommend for middle aged women to shout and complain about the daily micro aggressions against them? Where can we name and shame and hold misogynistic behaviour to account?

I hear it from friends and experience it myself all the time, now I no longer have the 3 Fs. From being talked over at work, to being demeaned publicly if I dare step out of line, to just being outright ignored. Am so sick and tired of it.

What education is happening so that these mistakes aren’t being repeated generation after generation?

Not read Hags yet but loved all your columns so far.

Do you think other cultures (both current non western and western in the past) are so concerned with enforcing a younger/ older women split? To me it seems a feature of a particularly middle class, modern capitalist way of living, where child rearing is often done far away from extended families and thus far away from the support and wisdom of older female relatives.

I've nearly finished Hags, sent a copy to a friend and shared excerpts with many other Hag-adjacent friends.

Obviously, I'm furious. But in a way I'm also gleeful. The 40s are my best decade my a country mile and I love the idea of being liberated and giving no fucks.

I think we should celebrate it more. What can we do to reassure future Hags that the water's lovely?

Male poster here and I listened to your radio 4 interview some weeks ago - which I found fascinating.

As an early 50 something, I do empathize with the mysogenistic ageism that you referred to - but wonder how you perceive the prevalence the word ‘hags’ is in society these days?

I work in a largely male orientated profession, Im a male men’s social society, But have to be honest - I don’t think I’ve heard the word ‘hag’ used in about 2 decades, perhaps even 3. So I can’t help but feel that you’ve used a sensationalist title, but actually undermined your message by focussing on a bit of the dictionary that was already dying, and perhaps counterintuitively given it new life.

We see the demonisation of women in a topsy turvy way, most starkly in the trans debate. Why do you think people can look at a protest against a group of ordinary women gathered to speak, and think the aggressive male protesters who violently threaten and attack them are the ones in the right?

In your opinion, why does misogyny continue to flourish when the western world is now (supposedly) so "woke" about other issues? How can we tackle it? Can we ever stop it altogether? What should we be saying to our sons and daughters?

Did you speak to any women of colour when researching and writing the book? I ask because as a Black woman we've always been demonised, not just in middle age.

Do you think women are getting anywhere in our fight for sex-based rights?

Like a PP, I'm concerned about gender critical "stuff" getting hijacked by the far right. I am worried this issue is going to get polarized in the way it has in the United States, where the issue now appears to be impossible to discuss.

I think there also needs to be some talk about the demonization of older women among right wing commenters as well. Do a search on Twitter for "the wall" and you'll see what I mean... right wing men who are constantly banging on about "fertility," mocking the appearance of women in the public eye who are not as young as they used to be, and constantly pushing the idea of relationships with huge age gaps as being the ideal. I've seen quite a few conservative-leaning female commentators on the gender critical side (NOT all, by any means) being just a bit too friendly/complicit with some of these right wing men, despite the fact that these guys are just as misogynistic as the bearded wokebros. Not sure where my question is leading, exactly, just feel that some GC feminists need to start being a bit more careful who their friends are.

I'm looking forward to reading the book, and hope it'll address some of these issues among many others!