How many young people know what child sexual exploitation is? How many parents know what it is? The hush-hush approach to this subject is becoming less prevalent, but are we doing enough to talk to young people about it? It might be up to parents to educate their children on sex and relationships, but schools should also play a key role in informing them about peer pressure, internet safety, and the respect we should expect from each other. Parents shouldn’t be left alone in this.
My name is Sammy Woodhouse, and I’m a 32-year-old single parent with two boys. I was groomed and abused as a child - and it is for this reason that I now travel around schools to talk to children about exploitation.
Growing up in Rotherham, I lived with my parents and two sisters. I was a popular, confident and bubbly child who dreamed of becoming the world’s greatest dancer. My family was supportive and protective and they did their best to keep me safe. But unfortunately it wasn’t enough, and I became embroiled in a dark and violent world of exploitation.
For several years, I was abused sexually, mentally, and physically. I was pregnant at 14 and 15 and I was groomed to commit crime by a man 10 years my senior. He was exposed two decades later, but to me at the time he was my boyfriend who loved me.
At school I supposedly received a sexual education, if you can call it that. I learned about how the sperm reaches the egg, and how to put on a condom. They were handed out by the teacher after class, and my friends and I would blow them up like balloons before falling about laughing. Of course I knew what a ‘paedo’ was - he was a fat old man watching school children from his window, or someone who pulled up in his van and offered you sweets. You’d be kidnapped, never to be seen by your parents again. But that didn’t happen to me.
I also remember my mum trying to teach me about the ‘birds and the bees’, but I recall this conversation for its awkwardness rather than for its information. And that was it - my sexual education. I'm sad to say that I got my real learning from a child rapist who I thought was my boyfriend.
I often hear parents say: 'It will never happen to my children. I know where they are at all times.' But do we really know what our children are doing every minute of the day? As parents, we’re constantly putting our trust in other people. If something does go wrong, our children need to know what to do and who to tell.
This is why I now travel around schools in the UK to talk to children. In secondary schools, I speak about what child exploitation is, and how it can take place both online and offline. I remind pupils that both males and females of all backgrounds can be perpetrators, and that victims can be boys or girls, from any race, religion, or upbringing.
I say to pupils that a victim is never to blame, and explain how it can be difficult for victims to come forward. Victims might not recognise that they are being abused, or they might feel too emotionally attached to their abuser to speak up. They might feel embarrassed, or worried that their families will disown them. They might have been threatened with repercussions or forced into criminal activity to prevent them from coming forward. This is why I’m also campaigning for a new law to prevent children from being charged with committing crimes while under the control of an abuser.
Hearing this from someone who has been a direct victim of child sexual exploitation is powerful; it makes it real. I end the session in schools on a positive note, explaining that when I spoke out I also exposed the Rotherham child abuse scandal. In so doing, I not only got justice for me and my family, but also for the other survivors who were given the courage to step forward.
If I can do that, so can others. I ask the children to believe in themselves and to speak out if they know something is happening to them - at the end of the day, it could save someone’s life. From now on, we need to start talking to children about the things that really matter.
Sammy Woodhouse is the author of Just a Child: Britain's biggest child sex abuse scandal exposed (Blink Publishing - £7.99). She will be returning to this guest post for the webchat at 9pm on Wednesday 4 July - do post questions in advance or join in on Wednesday.