drug dependant baby, advice needed

[EarthMotherImNot]

I've been asked to foster a baby expected to be suffering drug withdrawal when it is born next week.

It is years since I've cared for one of these and any advice would be most gratefully received.

[littledawley]

What an amazing couple you are. I will be thinking of LO x

[CMOTdibbler]

Aw, great news EMIN - def sounds like you are through the worst of it now.

[EarthMotherImNot]

Oh scary stuff now, The consultant asked me to ring him this morning to let him know how she's been doing on the reduced dose over the long weekend.

I told him that, fingers crossed, she seems to be coping well.

"I'm tempted" he says "to stop the medication all together, lets do that and see how she manages, oh, and by the way, I'm on holiday for the next couple of weeks but you've coped so well I'm sure you won't have any problems"

WTF. I'm terrified. He says he'll email me another contact when he gets back to the hospital, just in case.

[Snuppeline]

Hi EarthMotherImNot, I've been reading your thread but not written anything yet, I just wanted to say today that your amazing and that I'm sure the consultant wouldn't go to the step of stopping the medication without feeling confident about it. Make sure you get another contact though and you can always ask him to let you have some of the medication on standby in case you think the little one needs it - given that he will be away he should agree to that surely. Best of luck!

[EarthMotherImNot]

Thank you Snuppeline

I can't believe, after all we've been through with her that the end may, just may, be in sight.

We have enough medication to get us through and I've just had a chat to my HV who said to think of it as a positive step not a scary one.

[CMOTdibbler]

Def a positive step - I'm sure it's that when you get to a certain point, she is no longer really dependant on it so theres nothing to be gained by her being on a low dose anymore. Sooner she's off the drugs totally, the better eh ?

Still being snuggled in your dressing gown ?

[EarthMotherImNot]

Hi CMOT yes, still happier in there but without the shakes now.

[CMOTdibbler]

How is she doing off the meds ?

[EarthMotherImNot]

I can't type with my fingers crossed silly

Actually she is doing well, very very well

She was a bit niggley in the early hours but that could just be her IYKWIM

She has gone for contact this morning and I sent a note telling her mum so I hope she'll be pleased too.

[CMOTdibbler]

Fabulous ! Sounds like she (and you) are doing really well

[EarthMotherImNot]

Thanks CMOT

I feel as though we've all climbed a huge mountain and, although exhausted we are exhilarated as well. It's hard to remember what sleep is, apart from the cat-nap variety but I feel on top of the world today

[ToastieLover]

You are very inspiring, EMIN. It is a wonderful thing that you do and thank god you do it.

[MrsRigby]

The baby's mother should be shot for what she's done to this poor baby. What a bitch. Thank god the baby was taken away from her.

earthmotherimnot you are an amazing person. If only there were more people like yourself in this world.

[MrsRigby]

I've just been reading through the other pages.

I'm close to tears with what these poor babies are made to go through.

All drug dependant women should be made infertile.

And this woman has more than 1 child in care. I hope to god none of them go back to her.

OP you are amazing, I hope the little one continues to do well. I can't imagine for a second what you or it are going through.

This thread has made me so and . Thank god that baby has you OP.

[EarthMotherImNot]

Thank you Toastie

MrsRigby, thank you too but I'm not sure we should be shooting or making infertile anyone.

I confess that sometimes holding lo while she screamed and trembled I gave in to similar thoughts but I've never had to walk in her shoes and live the sort of life she's lived. I understand she is trying to get off the drugs so I'm hopeful this time for her.

[ToastieLover]

Mrs Rigby - my naturally liberal views make me want to disagree with you re sterilising/forcing contraception upon drug dependent women. It seems like such a gross breach of human rights.

However, I cannot think of a single better alternative and that makes me feel incredibly frustrated and sad. It is down to SS and people like EMIN to pick up the pieces for the babies whose own rights have not been prioritised by their mothers.

Like I say, EMIN, I think you do a wonderful job and I am very grateful you do it.

[Eglu]

I have just come across this thread for the first time.

EMIN what you are doing is amazing. I'm so pleased to see how well the lo is doing in your care, and now no longer drug dependant.

[ChickensHaveSinisterMotives]

EMIN, thank God for people like you. You're doing such an amazing thing. Really hope that baby continues to thrive and goes on to have a happy, healthy loved life.

[PandaEis]

what a fantastic thing you are doing for this little girl earthmother

you are surely a shining light in her little life and you should be very proud of what you and your DH are doing for her

this is something i have been mulling over recently myself and it is maybe something i would do in a few years when my DD is at full time school. i would have to discuss it with DH first but i think it would be something i would really feel great about doing

[EarthMotherImNot]

Thanks you guys

Panda there is no feeling like this, there really isn't

Be careful how you broach the subject to your DH though, mine choked on his tea when I first raised the idea

[PandaEis]

earthmother yeah...my DH would probably laugh at me for suggesting it but i think it is such a worthwhile thing to do and i have the space, patience and love spare for another child (sadly not been able to have another of my own what with my crappy body and all)

[EarthMotherImNot]

Ok need some help here, this is what you have to do for me please.

At 10am this morning I will be meeting lo's mum for the first time at a review.

It would be most unfortunate if I gave in to my base instinct of grabbing her by the throat and slapping her silly, given that the room will be full of social workers etc

Could you all please (metaphorically) sit on my hands and hold my oh so sincere smile in place.

I thank you

[CMOTdibbler]

I'll be sitting on my hands with a rictus smile for you EMIN. Whilst totally sympathising with your base instinct.

How is the LO doing ?

[MrsRigby]

Can't you just give in to your base instinct. I'm pretty sure all the social workers et al will be supportive of your outburst .

Once again, I just want to tell you what a wonderful person you are. It makes me so happy to know that that baby finally has someone like yourself to look after them.

I was hoping there would be no more posts as this thread makes me so and .

I trust the little one is still doing well and continues to do so.

Thank god for people like you in the world.

[EarthMotherImNot]

I'm back phew

I managed to contain myself, actually the mum presented as an extremely fragile and pathetic person.

She thanked me for caring so well for lo and for sending her photo's from time to time.

She has so many issues that my life seems blessed in comparison

Lo is doing great, she had an unsettled night but otherwise seems fine and very alert