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drug dependant baby, advice needed

724 replies

EarthMotherImNot · 03/03/2010 15:20

I've been asked to foster a baby expected to be suffering drug withdrawal when it is born next week.

It is years since I've cared for one of these and any advice would be most gratefully received.

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QBEE · 25/03/2010 10:13

how often do you have to do contact and did they tell you how long she will stay with you for?
glad you got a lovely lie in

EarthMotherImNot · 25/03/2010 13:22

contact is every day bar weekends, it has to be supervised and ss don't "do" weekends.

Its for an hour and I think she'll be here until at least summer, hopefully anyway

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chegirlWILLbeserene · 25/03/2010 13:48

Wow that is a lot of contact.

DS had 4 a week but they were 4hrs each. For the first 9 mths or so they were very badly managed and didnt do much to help DS or his b.mum.

They couldve been so much more productive but I got the feeling they were for box ticking rather than anything else. DS didnt start rolling over until they decreased and he actually got a chance to lie around a play! He spent so much time travelling to and fro and then being taken to McDonalds in his buggy he just didnt get a chance to develop.

EarthMotherImNot · 25/03/2010 14:51

I know exactly what you mean, it's hard having any sort of life when you're tied in every morning. Lo is collected at 8.30am each morning and is, in effect out for most of the morning so any family plans are afternoons or nothing.

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Minnerva · 29/03/2010 21:54

I have been following this story with great interest and would just like to commend you EarthMotherImNot for your compassion and the special ability of being able to keep a sense of humour and perspective on it all.I hope that i can be half as positive and optimistic as you when I start with my placements-you have been quite inspirational.
I am looking forward to further updates-when you have the time and/or energy-good luck!

EarthMotherImNot · 30/03/2010 06:13

Thank you Minnerva, thats most kind of you.

My link worker tells me that my sense of humour has probably saved quite a few social workers from a good slapping

As for compassion, well sitting here at silly-o-clock with a baby who still has more than an hour to go til her meds are due and sadly can't tell the time, (and if I'm brutally honest makes me want to shake her mum for putting her in this position) breeds its own compassion

Can I add a good luck to you also

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Tambasher · 30/03/2010 07:10

You're a star and I can relate to your last comment about the mother. Poor Lo. Let's hope mother has learned a lesson, I am afraid though sometimes they just don't and repeat the cycle.

Thank goodness for people like you. x

EarthMotherImNot · 31/03/2010 10:48

Baby weighing in at.......drum roll..........

5lb 13ozs

She has lost that pinched look and while she's not exactly on course for sumo wrestling she's getting there

I'm so pleased with her I could dance a jig but I'm too tired so a quiet yeayyyyy will have to do.

As an aside I sent some photo's of her when she went to see her her mum and got a message back.....

Thanks but they're too small to put on my wall can you enlarge them for me

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SparklyGothKat · 31/03/2010 10:54

WHen my DD2 was in SCBU, there was a baby withdrawing in the same bay, the crying was so high pitched, it made me so sad you are doing a great job and your FD sounds delightful.

Poledra · 31/03/2010 11:00

EarthMother, I've been lurking on this thread, and I just wanted to say how wonderful you and your DH are. I'm not sure I'd be able to do something as generous and selfless. Thank god we have people like you.

I hope the LO continues to improve - good vibes to you all!

EarthMotherImNot · 31/03/2010 11:14

SGK that high pitched cry is unique isn't it.

I think, for me, it's the knowing that there is nothing I can do to help her until her meds kick in or until she's due to have them again. I've honestly never felt so helpless in my entire life

Poledra thank you, good vibes welcomed

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wannaBe · 31/03/2010 11:19

what will happen to her em? Will she be put up for adoption?

SparklyGothKat · 31/03/2010 11:21

Its not a cry I will forgot easily. She was huge compared to the other babies, but the nurses struggled to feed her. I often wonder what happened to her, the parents came up twice in the 3 weeks we were there.

chicaguapa · 31/03/2010 11:22

I'm humbled. What a lovely thing you are doing. I'm having an emotional day anyway as it's DC's last day at school before we move, but lo's story has just about finished me off. I will keep my fingers crossed for her (and you & DH)

EarthMotherImNot · 31/03/2010 11:47

I don't know wannaBe, mum is apparently trying to work with them re her addiction.

This is not by any means her only child to be taken into the care system because of her addiction. (trying to be discreet here so don't ask how many please)

A few years ago I would have said no chance of lo going home but I have no idea how ss thinks anymore or where their priorities lie

SGK thats unusual for drug dependent baby, I understood they were usually tiny because the mums didn't eat well/used too many drugs.

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SparklyGothKat · 31/03/2010 11:49

lol, she was prolly only about 5lb but she was huge compared to the 3lbers in the same room

EarthMotherImNot · 31/03/2010 11:50

Lol oh I see, not so huge then.

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wannaBe · 31/03/2010 11:52

I guess she might have been huge compared to other babies in scbu who might have been seriously premature for eg?

So there are more children like this LO out there by the same mother?

SparklyGothKat · 31/03/2010 11:55

my sister had a 5lb 3oz baby and 4 days later I had Ds2 early at 33 weeks weighing 4lb 8oz, her DD2 looked huge compared to Ds2, but only half a pound in it.

Poledra · 31/03/2010 12:14

On this slight tangent, DD3 was in SCBU for 4 days as she had HDN. She was 8lb 11 oz.......

SparklyGothKat · 31/03/2010 13:12

wow, bet the other babies looked really tiny. There was a baby boy on the ward when DD1 was in SCBU he was at least 8lb, he was so cute, big and cuddly compared to my baby bird

EarthMotherImNot · 31/03/2010 13:32

yes wannaBe, quite a few, but one didn't make it

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EarthMotherImNot · 03/04/2010 14:27

Quick update:

Baby doing really well

She is weighing in at 6lbs 7oz at 1 month old.

In consultation with her doctor we are now giving meds every other feed, not every feed and he has now asked that from today we reduce the dosage by half.

Her shaking and almost constant screaming are lessening every day thank god!

He says if she becomes distressed we are to up the dose again for a few days but....fingers crossed

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Minnerva · 03/04/2010 22:33

Many thanks for the update EarthMotherImNot~
wonderful to hear that she is improving slowly every day.
How long is she sleeping for now-are you managing to get several hours in a row?.
I really appreciate you posting regularly~it's not as if you have nothing to do and lots of time to waste.


EarthMotherImNot · 04/04/2010 06:54

Hi Minnerva, thank you

She happily goes an hour sometimes 2 between some lovely wide awake alert times.

I can honestly say in all our years fostering this tiny scrap has brought me the most satisfaction in a "my god we're getting there" sort of way.

Her face is filling out and doesn't have that pinched transparent look now.

DD2 who stayed over last night took a photo on her phone of lo lying on my front with her head nestled under my chin and that windy half smile on her face, bliss

She has now been on the reduced dose nearly 24 hours and, fingers tightly crossed, so far so good!

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