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Super soaker etiquette at parties

407 replies

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 19:22

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

OP posts:
juuule · 17/07/2008 20:41

He's 8yo. Surely if you explained to him how it wouldn't really be polite to take it to the party, then he would want to not spoil the girls party. Just talk to him about it.

onceinalifetime · 17/07/2008 20:42

Is this a wind-up?

nappyaddict · 17/07/2008 20:43

is the spare one going to be given to the bday child?

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:43

Tigermoth -you've started this thread as a wind-up, haven't you? You must have. Well it looks like it worked.
You were never seriously thinking of letting your ds go with the supersoaker, were you?
Own up.

CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 20:45

the bday child that is also feisty ? oh what a great combination !

I bet the host Mum is stocking up on the gin for tomorrow night !

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:45

As my son has himself heard the host mother herself say that he can bring his super soaker subject to the weather, I think the weather reason is the best way of saying no.

Bringing a super soaker to an outdoors summer party with the host's permmission is not wrong per se IMO.

OP posts:
CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 20:47

ARRGGGGHHHHH!

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:47

Whatever he heard the host mother say, you telling him that he can't take it and the reasons why, are the most appropriate and best way of saying no.

Mutt · 17/07/2008 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SorenLorensen · 17/07/2008 20:48

Have you seen this? Very timely...

Hulababy · 17/07/2008 20:48

Sorry, but unless it is a prearranged water party for all children being invited, and all children will have such soakers with them, all able to join in then it is not right IMO.

cocolepew · 17/07/2008 20:48

So why did you ask on here, if you don't see anything wrong with it?

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:48

I can easily say 'no' - I am not bothered about doing this in the slightest.

OP posts:
unfitmother · 17/07/2008 20:49

You asked about ettiquette, the answer is party ettiquette is that the host decides activities!

juuule · 17/07/2008 20:49

"Bringing a super soaker to an outdoors summer party with the host's permmission is not wrong per se IMO"

Only if the party was a super-soaker party and every child had been told that. Like having a pyjama party or other themed party.

Mutt · 17/07/2008 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pgwithnumber3 · 17/07/2008 20:50

This is a wind up isn't it Tigermoth?

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:50

I don't think it's bad manners to bring a super soaker to the sort of party he is going to - so that's why I will not be taking this line with my son.

OP posts:
WhatsupDoc · 17/07/2008 20:50

This thread is totally winding me up. I am getting all hot and flustered about it.

NO NO NO NO. How rude.

I'm off for a lie down.

onceinalifetime · 17/07/2008 20:51

I don't think you can easily say no - it seems to be your last option when it should have been your first.

spicemonster · 17/07/2008 20:51

Just say no, you've changed your mind. It's the mother's prerogative to change her mind. Tell him 200 people surveyed said they thought it was a bad idea and so you have changed your mind.

Also, if you really thought the mum was fine with it, you wouldn't be wondering if she'd said yes through gritted teeth.

cocolepew · 17/07/2008 20:51

AAAARRRGGGGHHH

Mutt · 17/07/2008 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tigermoth · 17/07/2008 20:52

For all I know the host parent might be bringing super soakers herself.

OP posts:
cocolepew · 17/07/2008 20:53
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