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Single mum

305 replies

PITH1 · 19/03/2023 21:41

I'm 30, a single mum of 2 DC (7 and 3), broke and moving 8 hours away to Scotland next week where we don't know a soul. I'm currently living in temporary accommodation and have no chance of being housed where I currently live. I added myself to open housing lists all over the UK and have been offered a gorgeous little maisonette flat in Scotland on the edge of a small town about 30min from Glasgow. Lots of green space and a small school. Have visited and really liked it. My children's father doesn't want anything to do with them and hasn't since my youngest was born so that isn't an issue. I don't have family support and I haven't been happy for a long time here and have been wanting a fresh start but I'm nervous and it's taken a lot of guts for me to do this. Does anyone have any stories/tips about moving far away on your own? Especially with young DC. Or can anyone tell me their experience of living in Scotland? Making friends there? Thanks for reading x

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Yolo12345 · 26/03/2023 17:45

Honestly, one day you will look back and think "moving close to Glasgow was the best decision I ever made"... Scottish folk are generally kind and warm, but Glaswegians take it to another level. Don't be afraid to be open and ask for help, tell people you are new etc...

It's part of the UK but lots of services and culture is different, so don't be surprised by that. Some things might be better, some worse, like everywhere it's not perfect, but they are trying.

Be open minded about the fact that roughly half the population are open to Scottish independence, it doesn't mean they don't like England, it usually means they don't like Westminster politics.

If anyone asks you "which team?", they are referring to football - Celtic/rangers...just say Partick thistle 🤣

Lots of help for young kids - free school lunches, free public transport, lots of support available.

The "language" can be very different...lots of new expressions and accents to learn - embrace it, enjoy it. You'll see a bit of Gaelic around on signs etc. just for you to be aware there are three state primaries in Glasgow offering immersion in Gaelic and one secondary... it is a thing.

You are moving at the perfect time - nights are getting lighter and your first summer will be something to remember. Get blackout curtains for the summer nights...store up on this to get you through the dark winters.

Welcome 😂

Forgottenpeeves · 26/03/2023 17:57

Wishing you all the luck in the world. Incredibly brave and a real inspiration to your children.

Yolo12345 · 26/03/2023 17:58

Oh just read your other updates now! 😂😂😂 your neighbour....lol that is honestly so typical - going out of his way to help... When I moved to Edinburgh and was clueless some folk literally took my breath away by how they went above and beyond to welcome me. I'll never forget it!

Yolo12345 · 26/03/2023 18:07

Oh and register yourself at your local GP as soon as you can so that you get assigned a Health Visitor and get referrals to support services if necessary.

Yes to a previous poster who mentioned libraries...not sure what you are used to back home but libraries here are usually hubs for families. Our small local library does free craft sessions on Friday afternoons for example, as well as book bugs, film screenings, story times etc, even gardening, well planting, it's a fab resource! Get yourselves library cards and enjoy!

Yolo12345 · 26/03/2023 18:09

Keep checking in OP, thinking of you xx

Riverlee · 26/03/2023 18:41

We moved a couple of hours away and started afresh. Having kids helps as you meet mums at schools, clubs etc. There will be times when you feel displaced or uncertain, but you’ll settle down. Wishing you all the best.

PITH1 · 27/03/2023 11:16

Thanks so much everyone for the kind comments and links ❤️ my kid's started at their new school/nursery today and both went in happily so that's great! Our matresses/bedding is just about to arrive so tonight will be our first night in the flat! I'm so excited to have a bath when they're in bed as it was only a shower in the temp accommodation. It really makes you appreciate the simple things in life x

OP posts:
OnaBegonia · 27/03/2023 12:23

That's great that the wee ones went in happily, enjoy your bath 😊

PITH1 · 27/03/2023 17:46

Thank you 😊 they had a great day 😊

OP posts:
Nooyoiknooyoik · 27/03/2023 17:48

samqueens · 19/03/2023 22:25

You’re doing an amazing thing and you are so brave! You should be really proud of yourself.

I haven’t done this but I’d just say take your time - you don’t need to meet your new best friend day one. Be warm and friendly and take your time to suss out who you like and what the vibe is at mum’s groups and so on. And say yes to as many invitations, groups and opportunities as you can. Don’t be downhearted if it doesn’t happen all at once, just having your own place and a lovely environment to be in will make such a difference. All the luck in the world with it!!

Great advice.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 27/03/2023 18:03

I'm late to this post, but another one just wishing you and your family well and a happy life in your new home.

Weedoormatnomore · 27/03/2023 18:49

So great to hear its going so well for you.

Yolo12345 · 27/03/2023 20:39

Lovely to hear your wee ones had a good day! That's a great start!

pncr · 27/03/2023 20:54

Oh this is lovely xxx all the best op.

Pippylongstock · 28/03/2023 07:05

Awww so glad to hear your children settled in well. Good luck. It’s a big move but you 100% seem to have the right attitude.

laalaaland · 28/03/2023 20:46

I am so happy to hear you've had such a positive start with such a friendly, kind neighbour. You really deserve it. Enjoy your first night in your new home!

Yolo12345 · 29/03/2023 21:20

How are you doing OP? Hope you are hanging in the wee - Friday tomorrow? x

Yolo12345 · 29/03/2023 21:22

Yolo12345 · 29/03/2023 21:20

How are you doing OP? Hope you are hanging in the wee - Friday tomorrow? x

Sorry, typing too fast! Meant to say:

Hope you are hanging in there - it's almost the weekend - Friday tomorrow. x

PITH1 · 29/03/2023 21:59

Thanks so much for checking in 😊 we are settling in nicely! I spoke to my housing officer who is really great and helped me apply for a community care grant which will provide a fridge freezer, cooker, washing machine, beds and a couple of other bits like a clothes airer and a table and chairs. Really grateful as I didn't know any of this was an option. My neighbour also asked on his Facebook group and I've now got a few more bits which people have given me such as a bathroom organiser, chest of drawers etc! I offered money but nobody would take any so that was super kind. I've also ordered flooring for the lounge from a cheap online place and I've had an independent carpet fitter I found online come and give me a very reasonable quote to fit it when it arrives so that's great .. One room at a time 😊 my kid's are really enjoying their new schools and my daughter has had no trouble making friends although I never really worried about her as she's so sociable! The school is less than a 2min walk from my new home which feels bloody luxurious as our old school run was over 30min walk! The teachers are nice and I'll to go any upcoming school events to try and meet people. We have a park right next to our house too and a swimming pool so I think I'll take them swimming tomorrow and then maybe the park in the afternoon. I'm surrounded by lovely countryside and I feel so lucky. I went on the train in to Glasgow yesterday when they were at school and the views that I went past were amazing! It all feels new and different atm but new and different is good. The nervous feelings have gone and soon everything will be more familiar. I've had some trouble with getting confused by phrases people are using such as, where do you stay? Instead of where do you live and things like, "the now", "just now" and other things we don't say in England 😄 but we are off to a great start I would say! X

OP posts:
samqueens · 29/03/2023 22:04

Oh OP - I am so glad to hear all this - it’s great that you are feeling so positive and settling in, I’m sure it’s rubbing off on your children and helping them so much too. Glad you’ve found some supportive and kind neighbours and organisations close by and that you’re feeling hopeful. Well done you!!

Mojoj · 29/03/2023 22:05

Congratulations on making a fresh start. You'll love Scotland. We're a very friendly bunch. And the countryside is awesome. Loads of space for your kids to roam. Good luck!

Wagapapa · 29/03/2023 22:30

I've had some trouble with getting confused by phrases people are using such as, where do you stay? Instead of where do you live and things like, "the now", "just now" and other things we don't say in England 😄 but we are off to a great start I would say! X

Wait until you find out they call girls birds and have jam on top of their scones! 😱
One big advantage you're going to have is that if your kids want to go to uni, it's completely free! Prescriptions are free as well.

C2190 · 30/03/2023 00:27

So glad you're settling in well OP 😊

I laughed at your comment on the lingo confusion 😅 I live in Glasgow. If you ever hear " the morra," that means tomorrow.

You should get a roll n sausage the morra for you and the weans breakfast from a wee cafe 😁

Yolo12345 · 30/03/2023 00:28

That all sounds fantastic, OP! Delighted for you! Your Housing Officer sounds lovely - well done for accessing that so quickly..!

Yes the language will be a steep learning curve :) you will all learn a lot of new vocabulary, some of it very colourful!

It's a big adventure for your children and hopefully for you too. I'm sure you will meet lots of local parents just by hanging out at the park and at the school pick ups/drop offs. Good luck with it all. I'm really rooting for you. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙

If you have any questions or just want to mull things over, don't hesitate to drop in and muse. xx

Yolo12345 · 30/03/2023 00:30

Just in this is nearby and might interest you: www.west-dunbarton.gov.uk/leisure-parks-events/events-in-west-dunbartonshire/easter-bunny-bonanza/