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Original poster

Best parenting tip you ever got?

504 replies

giantwaterbottle · 02/07/2021 18:05

Obviously I'm not being unreasonable to ask 🤷‍♀️

Mine was from some friends who had older kids.
Always double the sheets/plastic sheet in baby/toddler bed.

It's saved us in the middle of the night on countless occasions.

OP posts:
ViceLikeBlip · 02/07/2021 20:46

I absolutely hate the phrase "all fed, none dead". I can only assume its bandied about by people who haven't really understood that some parents actually do lose children.

NewlyGranny · 02/07/2021 20:47

Before I even read the OP I knew mine instantly. It's doubling up on waterproof sheets and bottom sheets, for sure! Whipping off the wet to find a fresh and dry set underneath gave us many extra hours peaceful sleep when our twins came out of nappies.

One parent dumps everything wet in the bath while the other pops clean jammies on the child and everyone goes back to bed. Zzzzzzzzz

zaffa · 02/07/2021 20:47

@PieceOfString

You can't lose your temper when you're singing. So one frazzled sleep deprived mummy managed to love and sooth a reflux baby mostly by singing shift lullaby's through it. Externally I probably looked like a devoted calm mum, internally I was keeping murderous thoughts at bay. We both got through it with a great bond.
I did this! Even now, when I am frustrated as we commence the 'terrible two's' I just sing instead and it calms me and allows me to deal with the actual situation rather than my feelings about my daughters feelings. I don't even know where I got it from but one of our favourites was eternal flame - I'd hold her against my chest and belt out: 'do you feeeeeeel my heart beeaattiiing, so you feel the saaaaaaame'
LuckyLuckyWoman · 02/07/2021 20:48

It's just a phase....... followed by another, another and another :)

BlackeyedSusan · 02/07/2021 20:49

Listen to the advice you are given, then do what you damn well like.

IE the advice may work for one child but maybe not yours or your family because everyone is different and different priorities lifestyles, abilities, character, energy, disability, illness etc.

Also: you only need to be a good enough mum. No-ones perfect.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Anjo2011 · 02/07/2021 20:50

Don’t sweat the small stuff

kindaclassy · 02/07/2021 20:51

Don't focus on the kids beds with waterproof/spare sheets...
DO yours too!

Where do you think your baby will spend the rest of the night when they are poorly, and likely to be sick again? Your king-size mattress....

Hellvelyn · 02/07/2021 20:51

Another one from me from a superwoman nurse I worked with many years ago. She had 5 children and a foster child- mostly teens. Her advice was to give young children lots of opportunities to try different sports. By the time they're a teenager they will hopefully continue at least one sport. Superwoman nurse assured me the regular sport would wear them out and keep them occupied, leaving less time for aimless hanging around and getting into mischief. She was right! Only problem is when a pandemic hits, sport is cancelled and your usually active teen is totally lost without the routine and activity.

Hardbackwriter · 02/07/2021 20:52

@TableFlowerss

It’s not a tip I’ve been given but a tip I’d give to someone else through experience….

My ex used to always say ‘When I was little my mam wouldn’t let me get away with xyz, my man always done this, if I don’t that, my man would do xyz.’

He was basically praising his mans disciplinarian ways and crediting her for the amazing person he is and the amazing well behaved child he was 🙄

Mate - She had one child! Had she used the same technique with another child it might not have worked.

It’s nature and nature and some children have easier children… end of.

At least if he had a sibling that was also immaculatey behaved as a kid all the time I’d have had note inclination to listen.

I'd also be sceptical unless there was another witness (NOT his mum) to him being as angelic as he now remembers it. So many adults are convinced they were impeccably behaved as children - most children believe themselves to be reasonable, undemanding and believe themselves to be living under the yoke of a strict regime - it doesn't make it true! It particularly makes me laugh when adults look at a toddler misbehaving and say 'I wouldn't have got away with that ' - you don't remember! You're thinking of being taken out for a meal aged 10, not aged 2, and hopefully you were indeed a bit better behaved than a toddler by then!
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 20:53

@BlackeyedSusan

I often skip the listen bit and jump to doing as I damn well please 🤣

theluckiest · 02/07/2021 20:53

'Long days, short years.'

Best advice I ever had. The days when they are little are interminable. But suddenly, they;ll be finishing primary, then onto secondary..

You young 'uns may poo-poo this advice. But as the parent of 2 teenagers, it is so true. The years go by in the blink of an eye...

BlackeyedSusan · 02/07/2021 20:57

Depends who it is @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba . sometimes someone says something good.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/07/2021 20:58

The first six weeks were very long, secondary school, whizzes by.

soughsigh · 02/07/2021 20:59

Another 'ignore the people who say to get your baby to sleep through noise' - they just had heavy sleepers. My 2.5yo wakes up if the floor board squeaks, but I'm a light sleeper too. I don't think any amount of playing the radio and doing the hoovering could have changed how he is.

Every baby is different, what one parent swears by won't work for others. My son bossed potty training with no chocolate buttons, for example, but it will work for some children.

MrsKoala · 02/07/2021 20:59

I would also say record their voices when they are 2-4 years old. We took lots of pictures of them but hardly any audio. When I look at the pictures I think 'hmm yeah its them, they were bonnie etc'. But when I watch back the few clips we have of them saying something I feel such an immense connection to them again. I can appreciate them now when I just didn't have time to realise what an incredible little quirky human they were. I didn't enjoy them enough as it was just such hard work and I never saw an end to it. I never thought they'd not be like that forever and then suddenly they are big and I didn't take the time I needed when they were little.

tentimesaday · 02/07/2021 21:01

@Timefortheparty

Buy two identical Christmas stockings for each child so you can fill it in advance and just swap when they are asleep.
OMG this is genius and I never thought of it.
ElephantOfRisk · 02/07/2021 21:02

One for parents of teenagers, tell them that you will never be angry if they’re honest and open with you, lying will get them in a lot more trouble.

I told mine that we all make mistakes in life and that usually adults are better able to help sort things out or are good at just sharing the pain and that there were very few things in life that weren't made better by sharing them with someone who loves you.

This was after DS2 did something silly at school (he was with a group who were vaping and set off the fire alarm) DS was about 16 and had never been in trouble at school before. The deputy head called me and told me that he was so upset he was crying, he called DS1 in to help and his advice was that he didn't need to cry and that me and DH would understand.

Anyway, he was still upset when i picked him up but he didn't know i 'd been called by school. It all came out and he was told the above. I'm generally a fairly strict parent but genuinely enjoyed the teenage years the best. That was the worst thing he's been caught up in though he has come to me a couple of times when he's had a problem and I think meeting it with non judgmental help is key. He's still only 19 but he's learning to be a grown up I'm proud of.

Davros · 02/07/2021 21:03

Have a comfortable chair in the baby's room once it isn't in your room (6 months?) and always go to them, don't let them get used to coming to you

Lavender24 · 02/07/2021 21:04

Just let them watch YouTube.

kindaclassy · 02/07/2021 21:04

@Davros

Have a comfortable chair in the baby's room once it isn't in your room (6 months?) and always go to them, don't let them get used to coming to you
I have one better:

put a comfy bed for you in the baby's room!

norbert23 · 02/07/2021 21:04

"Do you know any adults who can't support their own head?" From a fab play worker at my local Surestart when I was having major wobbles over how my baby hated tummy time so wouldn't develop properly.. 😂

MaBroon21 · 02/07/2021 21:04

@MrsKoala

I would also say record their voices when they are 2-4 years old. We took lots of pictures of them but hardly any audio. When I look at the pictures I think 'hmm yeah its them, they were bonnie etc'. But when I watch back the few clips we have of them saying something I feel such an immense connection to them again. I can appreciate them now when I just didn't have time to realise what an incredible little quirky human they were. I didn't enjoy them enough as it was just such hard work and I never saw an end to it. I never thought they'd not be like that forever and then suddenly they are big and I didn't take the time I needed when they were little.
I’m a longtime poster Mrs Koala and posted on your threads regarding your children. How are they now? 😊
JustineTimee · 02/07/2021 21:05

@MrsKoala

I would also say record their voices when they are 2-4 years old. We took lots of pictures of them but hardly any audio. When I look at the pictures I think 'hmm yeah its them, they were bonnie etc'. But when I watch back the few clips we have of them saying something I feel such an immense connection to them again. I can appreciate them now when I just didn't have time to realise what an incredible little quirky human they were. I didn't enjoy them enough as it was just such hard work and I never saw an end to it. I never thought they'd not be like that forever and then suddenly they are big and I didn't take the time I needed when they were little.
This is brilliant advice, thank you so much! It made me tear up a little!
ElephantOfRisk · 02/07/2021 21:06

I'd add, celebrate the "firsts" because you'll never know when the "Lasts" are going to happen. Well, last days at school etc you do, but you'll never know the last day they slip their hand in yours to cross the road, when they'll want to read in bed by themselves rather than curled on your knee, when they won't want pushed on the swings anymore. All these things are good things as it shows you are doing your job and they are gaining independence, but those are the things you'll miss.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 21:06

I always hated the soundt of kids whinging "but you promiiiised!" urgh
vowed to never be in that situation.

So I've always told mine: "The only thing I promise you is that I'll always love you. Everything else is a plan"

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