Secrets of your trade.

[Confusedfornow]

I have worked in my current area of expertise for the last 20 years or so. It's in Aviation, can't say exactly what or for who as it's a relatively small community (for my role) and it would be VERY outing. Before this, my only other "job" that I did for a few years was dancing (yes, that kind ). So I don't have massive experience of the world of work.

But I was chatting with some people in a bar over the weekend and conversation turned to jobs and then to my role. I was telling them about some stuff which is perfectly normal to me, but was absolutely news to them.

For instance . .

When a plane is "parked" and everything is switched off, the aircraft is referred to as being "Cold and dark".

If a helicopter has engine failure, it won't just fall out of the sky. The pilots are trained in a procedure called "autorotation" and can usually land safely even if the engine isn't running at all.

All British Airways flights use the call sign "Speed Bird". It's unique and no other airline in the world uses it.

Last one . .

Pilots can't wear polarised sunglasses. They make the electronic displays on the flight deck appear black, and you can't read any information from them.

So, what do you know from your jobs that is mundane for you but which most people wouldn't have a clue/be surprised by?

Archaeology/ancient languages specialist here. My specialist language has a part of speech called the 'enclitic copula'. We all snigger at this.

Also, I judge people who have tattoos in the writing system I specialise in. They don't mean what you think they mean.

My husband is a priest. Sometimes there is so much wine left over on a Sunday morning that he's not in a fit state to drive home 😆

I work for the MoD so can't reveal any "secrets". but i am constantly amazed at the misconceptions people have of our armed forces personnel and the skills they have. "They run around with guns, shouting and killing people".
Yup. in reality, they are accountants, dentists, logisticians, medics, chefs, stewards, navigators, project managers, cartographers, air traffic controllers, builders, .........

@highlighta
Sorry for your loss

My DP is a paramedic and they also treat everyone- those still with us and the departed- as though they are conscious and listening. Even if there's only the departed present. He says it is always someone's son/daughter/mum/dad etc.
He really drums it into newbies and would be very cross if it happened differently in his hearing.

To be fair to warcat- I can second both of those observations ! I think gallows humour is rife of course- the week or so before Christmas and Easter are usually called 'clear out week' as people cope and cope with chronic illnesses in their pets and at these times with all the extra pressure in life being busy , the stress of it all is just too much and there is a big spike in euthanasias. Sad but true 😔

And I will definitely judge you ( as will all my colleagues) if you breed your pet without proper healthcare and nutrition before and during pregnancy to make money then moan and expect the Vet to do an emergency c-section and pay in instalments when at best you sell the puppies or kittens for thousands and at worst they die because you left it too bloody late to seek medical attention and we can't save them .

Yep exactly what curtains says

Feels good to get that off my chest under the disguise of being anonymous wishvthere was a fist pump emoji Warcat

DP works in insurance and apparently the week before a new model of phone comes out the insurance company will buy up the excess phones of previous models so when folks ring up claiming that their older model phone has broken, expecting a nice shiny new model they are able to replace like for like instead.

I used to work at a fast food restaurant... We literally had 30 seconds to make up a burger or wrap, that's why it looks a mess some of the time. Also.. If the milkshake/ice cream machine didn't work, it was sometimes due to people not bothering to get the milkshake mixture or Syrups. Usually due to the busyiness of the store.

@WarCat & @Curtains77

How fortunate that I never let ‘gallows’ humour come in to my line of work, and even under the greatest of pressures, would never allow anything as hideous to rear it’s head when faced with the death of somebody’s loved one (young & old). I am quite disappointed really, I naively thought that the veterinarian profession would show as much compassion and respect as that of nursing & midwifery. They may be just ‘animals’ to some, but I have seen some patients get far more from their beloved pets than their family members. What’s more, should any Nurse/midwife be overheard talking so disdainfully about a patient, they could be facing disciplinary action.
I guess we learn something new everyday.

From DH who works in retail... The 'back' or stock room is not as big as you think and almost certainly does not contain that thing that the staff member is 'looking for' for you. Stock levels are computerised and staff are pretty good at knowing what's been delivered recently. If they are 'checking the back' for stock, they are probably having a sit down, having a quick drink or eating something, going to the bathroom or bitching about work/customers to their colleagues.

Dark humour is a way of distancing yourself mentally from the awful parts of your job. I'm sure that no vets or nurses would be callous or careless enough to speak like that in front of anyone who wouldn't understand.

I’m a teaching assistant - in the past I have specifically been a 1to 1 for early years children with ASC.

The love I felt for those was almost the same as for my own children.

Like my own children they sometimes absolutely did my head in, but I loved them unconditionally, would have taken a bullet for them, and adored seeing them every day.

@BathshebaKnickerStickers - yep, and when they really annoy you, and you call them your own DCs name .

I warned another TA she'd do this, and she swore she never would....it took until April, but she did slip up eventually.

My fellow TAs and I also wish we could take some of the children home and give them a hot chocolate and a big bubbly bath and a load of bed time stories. But we can't, so we do our best in the 6 hours a day with limited resource.

I can absolutely assure you Persephone there is no disdain there . They are merely observations of patterns of behaviour- we have absolute compassion and love for our patients . We will always do our utmost for them and behind closed doors we treat them as we would our own. There are , of course , very rare exceptions as there are in any profession but we certainly don't do it for the glory or the fame or the money. I am glad you would never stoop to our level but I would challenge you to walk a while in our shoes and watch just how shit it is to see animals suffer as a result of humans ignorance . Ignorance by the way is by far the most common type of animal cruelty. Pets deserve SO much more so than that.

'Big business' really doesn't have the political power people think it does. If that were true, my job would be an awful lot easier.

Most politicians are nice people, trying to do a good job.

No one in Westminster has a scoobie what is going on in Brexit.

On two counts that is reassuring Bayley but the last point is grimly unsuprising ... ! But what do you do ?

I do government affairs and political consultancy.

Essentially, I help business talk to politicians, and visa versa.

Very few politicians have a clue how businesses run, which can cause them to do silly things.

Equally, most people at the top of businesses don't understand politics, so demand the impossible or get confused by it. I translate between the two sides.

This is such a fascinating thread

A long time ago I worked in a boarding kennels which had a cattery and livery yard attached (it is owned by DHs family).

We all had favourite dogs but were equally kind to all of them.

I know your pet is unique to you but when he's the 4th German shepherd or 5th spaniel we've checked in, we will have to check the board to remind ourselves which dog is yours.

I wouldn't bother sending a dog in with bedding - if it's put in with the dogs it has to get washed which is another job so it's often just put away.

Yes we will feed your pets whatever food you brought in but if it's awful quality bakers we will judge you.

We will exercise your pets and spend time keeping them company and giving them affection.

Most kennels close in the middle of the day and has a strict closing time. This is to give staff chance to do the exercising of the dogs, affection and cleaning and gives the animals some quiet relaxation time without others walking passed them on their way in and out.

You may find the kennels is unexpectedly full when you try and book in if your dog dirties the kennel every evening, you push to bring the dog in early or pick up late (had lots of customers who wanted to save a days fee by bringing their pets in at 6am on the way to the airport 🙄) or turn up a day late - this and trying to negotiate the cost AFTER your dogs have been in for 2 weeks happened way more than I expected.

When I worked in retail (matalan) calling Oscar to the X dept meant there was a thief and you were alerting security.

Forgot to add - kennels I worked in had dealings with various charities.
RSPCA were awful - willing to spend £££ on an animal which it would have been kinder to pts because it may end in a conviction but wouldn't give pennies for a minor ailment which would have made rehoming an almost certainty.
They were also rigid and cut the kennels off entirely because they didn't like the way it was run - because ILs were willing to put their own money into helping some of the animals.

Dogs Trust were better.

Small individual charities (ones which dealt with one central breed only) were best. Lots more give and take and because they are smaller, the bosses are able to be more flexible (one nice story - kennels was full when one owner didn't come back on time so we had one dog too many. Charity worker took one dog home for a night (a rescue not a customers pet) to help us out. They also recommended us to people who adopted the dogs because they trusted ILs. In return, lots of invoices for the kennels they used got 'lost in the post' and we took emergency dogs others wouldn't because they were supposedly 'nasty' or had illnesses

bayley that sounds fascinating! And confirms some of my suspicions... Don't suppose you write a blog or anything?

We are paying hundreds of thousands of pounds for a private company to perform operations to get our waiting list down. We could just invest that money in more operating theatres/staff or offer overtime which would provide a long-standing solution as once this extra capacity is used, we will have a long waiting list again that needs clearing

GPs / junior doctors get 'ash cash' for signing death certificates (this is hearsay; I may have the document wrong).

The daily build-up of gelatinous grease behind deep-fat fryers would put you off fast food for life.

Those mini perfume bottles in Christmas box sets are filled by hand (in my experience, at the height of summer. Never felt so sick in my life.)

Working hearing aids are cleaned up by hand and reused.

My Dsis has been required to look after very nearly double the number of permitted children at the nursery where she works.

When a pupil is permanently excluded, an equally or more challenging one will usually take their place on a managed move, hence the reluctance to do so.

Love this thread! Will add my own in the morning

Get
Your police pal on here for a natter....what force? North or south? I'm north. Very few staff. - shift should have 10 police and a Sgt.
Some shifts recently have had 1 officer and a Sgt so down by 9. Stil expected to cover same area and all 999 calls.

Also people often think when they dial999 they get an officer in the phone.
They don't. It's a call handler. - a civvy paid peanuts with a computerised list of standard questions akin to a call
Centre They have no police powers or knowledge.