Secrets of your trade.

[Confusedfornow]

I have worked in my current area of expertise for the last 20 years or so. It's in Aviation, can't say exactly what or for who as it's a relatively small community (for my role) and it would be VERY outing. Before this, my only other "job" that I did for a few years was dancing (yes, that kind ). So I don't have massive experience of the world of work.

But I was chatting with some people in a bar over the weekend and conversation turned to jobs and then to my role. I was telling them about some stuff which is perfectly normal to me, but was absolutely news to them.

For instance . .

When a plane is "parked" and everything is switched off, the aircraft is referred to as being "Cold and dark".

If a helicopter has engine failure, it won't just fall out of the sky. The pilots are trained in a procedure called "autorotation" and can usually land safely even if the engine isn't running at all.

All British Airways flights use the call sign "Speed Bird". It's unique and no other airline in the world uses it.

Last one . .

Pilots can't wear polarised sunglasses. They make the electronic displays on the flight deck appear black, and you can't read any information from them.

So, what do you know from your jobs that is mundane for you but which most people wouldn't have a clue/be surprised by?

It really isn't "just the same" when a factory produces "big name" foods and "value" foods in the same building or even the same production line.

I spent a lot of time in a couple of food processing factories. One produced cooked chicken meals and the other made sandwiches. The raw foodstuffs were separated, different grades of chicken and other meats for different batches, different qualities of mayonnaise and bread and salad for the sandwiches. Once a particular production batch had been made, it was all cleaned down, all unused foodstuff returned to stores and a new load of stock taken from stores to set up the next production line batch. The "premium" branded items were definitely made with higher quality products, i.e. the likes of Booths and M&S branded items were very different to the ones that went to Tesco and Morrisons.

kazzy
I thought that might be the case.

@Milk I think to this day it still astounds me when I just don't care about missing money. Another one is how we just aren't there to detect fraud, people always think we are

Firemen are not allowed to have beards.

Neither are soldiers for the same reason 😄

Is the reason fireman can’t have beards to do with suction around the mask?

I'm outside the UK (a judge) and we are not allowed social media, to join a union or political party or accept anything for free (drinks in a bar, a Christmas gift in the hairdressers, bottle of whisky from a tradesman etc).
We also have to do an advanced driving course.

I haven't RTFT but had to immediately respond to @VelvetPineapple

I also teach BTEC (in a school) and we don't receive any funding depending on pass/fail we get our funding on bums on seats as of 1st October of the previous academic year. I've failed plenty of students, never falsified any witness observations so please don't assume that all providers do this

Social worker. Each child placed for adoption costs the council £38k minimum - we don't get a bonus for every child snatched ;-)

Cricket, our funding doesn’t depend on BTEC pass rates, I’ve never falsified witness statements and I’ve failed students too! To be fair, the fail rate of BTEC should naturally be fairly low as it usually becomes apparent quite early in the course if work is not being done or is of a poor standard, but that’s more to do with having the chance to intervene rather than doing work for students.

I stick to the rules regarding marking, deadlines and resubmissions too! It’s certainly not an easy ride.

I’m a music teacher and all I can say is thank F*CK for nicorette gums 2mg flavour icy white

Wow. Placemarking for later.

The one about BTECs and HNDs being impossible to fail is shocking!!

My "trade secrets" is that food retailers make a considerably higher profit margin than food manufacturers on own brand products. This one absolutely boils my piss because the net result is majority of food manufacturers cannot afford to pay staff more than the living wage whilst having some cash left to reinvest in training and facilities. Even the discounter retailers. It is also not uncommon for businesses to sell certain lines into retailers at a loss to keep the business relationship for slightly more profitable lines

*In higher education. A few years ago we got an interview departmental memo telling all lecturers to mark up every undergraduate by one grade. So a 2.1 became a first, 2.2 became 2.1 etc. This was just before the tutorial fees were introduced.

It's almost impossible to fail s degree. You have to be practically dead.

International students have their dissertations rewritten for them if their English is poor.

Also students whose parents contacted us about their darlings were despised.*

Not true across the board

@Kazzyhoward sounds like ex 2 sisters?

That if you are mean to your child's teacher it can often affect your child's day.

From the GPs i know: if you are shitty to staff, wont say to staff what the problem is (and just say "its personal"), they will leave you to wait for ages. You'll be the last person they call as you havent given receptionists info. Also, if you are stroppy with them, they may be givjng you meds to get shot of you, because they dont care enough about you to work through why you are ill. They'll just want to treat your symptoms. Moral is: be nice to nhs staff

Freaking brilliant thread - thank you!

More IT here

If your engineer leaves you a docket it may have some of the following on it -
RTM Fault - Read the Manual
RTFM Fault - Second time I've been to the same thing, read the F Manual.
Interface Error - Normally the interface between the seat and the keyboard

velvet pineapple . Same on the course I was teaching on. I thought it was just the dick head of department who cba to make any effort in his last couple of years before retirement. He also insisted I signed a couple of students off with PAL (Prior accredited learning?) when they were actually unskilled to the point it was stopping them reaching their potential in other areas of the course.
Trade secret : many violin dealers will try and convince you that the violin in the attic is worth pennies when it's actually going to make them a 5 figure sum when they sell it on. Some auction houses are as crooked and ringing in the sales room is rife.

When I was a student I worked at a biscuit factory. The same biscuits were packaged whether for high end or low end brands just different wrappers.

School science technician here

You may think the teachers set up the science practicals for your kids. Actually it’s me in my lab doing it

Kids nick a lot of equipment and it’s a pain to keep replacing it

That I am the one In charge of making sure your kids are safe for their lessons.

If I wasn’t there, your kids wouldn’t be able to do any practical science

I design automotive fuel tanks and despite what people think, when we set them on fire it does not explode. It just melts and the fuel leaks and burns. It's quite boring actually.

If you are going through a divorce:

1. Have all bills/service providers and accounts at hand - be tidy and know your stuff. If you are a sham please control the finances!
2. If you are too devastateed please go and seek personal help before starting the divorce process - otherwise you will just waste your lawyer's time ( which is.money - yours!)
3. In my experience, children do not necessarily suffer in a divorce. If you are both convinced and explain clearly to the child that you both believe it is for the best the child will accept it and move on rather quickly ( yes, I know it is difficult, this is why you need good help first)
4. Teenagers try to take advantage ( another reason why you need good help first)
5. You will be told that the best solution for the children is to stay in the same home with the parents moving in and out - but if it does not work for you it will not work for them
6. The partner that is more silent and apparently less aggressive is the most difficult. In my experience, the best negotiators are the quiet silent ones.

Nurse of the nether regions here.
In over 20 years of working closely with people I can honestly say that we don't judge your bits, we don't mind if you have hair to your knees, its plaited, vajazzled or totally bare. We just care that you have come to see us and see if we can help, although on reflection if you told me you were totally bare because your partner prefered it I might have a chat to see how you felt about it.

We also ask lots of questions about what type of sexual contact you have, and again that is so we do the right tests for you so please do not be embarrassed- there really isn't much that can shock us.
Years ago when I worked on the wards we used to treat the dying and those who had passed as described and would always talk to them as if they were there when you were tending to them after they had passed, including opening a window and using the phrase Rose cottage. Also in theatre if a harvest was performed the team would take a moment of respect together for the person who had passed.
I truly loved my vocation and it has been a privilege to share really intense moments in peoples lives with them.