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Biggest cultural shock you have come across?

731 replies

hibbledobble · 08/05/2017 14:11

What have you encountered while travelling that was your biggest cultural shock?

I'll go first: in Poland I saw families/extended families living 10+ in a 2 bedroom home. The concept of having a bedroom or even a bed to oneself is seemingly unheard of. Everyone sleeps in different beds each night, and beds are often shared. Having visitors in this set up is no problem either: everyone just rearranges. Water also came from Wells, lots of homes had no bathrooms. Ovens were these metal beasts that were plugged into the mains.

OP posts:
CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 10/05/2017 01:38

Beagle it took 6 days last time (Manchester-Melbourne). Apparently that was fast. The orders increase in volume every time. 3 packages now. Used to be a medium size Jiffy bag. 😂

SuperBeagle · 10/05/2017 01:52

Cheddar That is fast!

We're going over to the UK in December and I plan on stocking up and paying for the extra luggage on return. Grin

sleepyowl12 · 10/05/2017 01:53

Pretty insignificant but a 15 - 30 min break at around halfway during the showing of a film at the cinema in Israel.

Qwebec · 10/05/2017 02:06

I travelled quite a bit, but my biggest shock was the US: the level of poverty and the working class, the size of people in real life compared to what they show on tv (why does their tv not reflect their population? It feels like a form of discrimination ), the way latinos are treated and almost segergated to low wage jobs, the poverty of low income workers.
I thaught the US was a first world country until then.

MakeItStopNeville · 10/05/2017 02:22

Seneca, there IS a completely different mindset to drinking and driving in the UK than there is in the US, however I accept it's different in different states. I live in the Tri State and I was genuinely quite shocked about the drink driving attitude. And then I went to my compulsory 5 hours lesson thing and it was ALL about drink driving. I was actually taught how to drink and drive. You have a drink an hour...or you have 3 drinks in quick succession and then don't drive for 3 hours. Seriously, this would NEVER happen in the UK!

MakeItStopNeville · 10/05/2017 02:24

And my "Get out of Jail Free" card aka as the PBA card is totally alien to Brits too.

Rinkydinkypink · 10/05/2017 02:35

The extent of the poverty and terrible loving conditions in relatively well of countries. America Southern states people still living in slave sheds by the road, no shoes etc.

This country... honestly there are alot of people who have very little and live in terrible housing!

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 10/05/2017 02:36

Pretty insignificant but a 15 - 30 min break at around halfway during the showing of a film at the cinema in Israel.

I remember "the intermission" in UK cinemas (does this still happen?), to get your Kai Ora & little tubs of ice cream from the Usherette.

FreeNiki · 10/05/2017 02:39

In the middle of the first term, I was having some problems with a bloke who lived in the room above me. I called my brother who brought his friends over and they, basically, kidnapped him and threatened to break his legs. This was a pretty normal way of resolving things where I grew up. My flatmates were completely horrified and news of this event spread all round the University.

Birdz I hope your brother and friends were arrested and you expelled from uni.

As for not knowing you could buy salmon in tesco, did you ever go into a supermarket with your eyes open before university?Confused

DoorwayToNorway · 10/05/2017 02:45

I remember how shocked I was at how big and shiny everything was in the USA when I first went there as a child.

Also when I was teaching there I was shocked at how many teenagers couldn't read, even basic reading books!

I remember getting culture shock when I saw police with guns around London (number 10 etc).
I live in Brazil now, so I've become used to a lot of odd things. I remember how shocking it was to see families living on the streets in Rio when we lived there 10 years ago though, the biggest shock was the school bus pulling up to the side of the road where families had made shacks on the hillside over a road, the children had school uniforms and book bags, then they just got off the bus and went "home" to their hillside. I still get shocked by homelessness as where I live now there's no homelessness, so seeing homeless people on a recent trip to London was a bit of an opposite culture shock.
Where I live we have free range animals, mostly chickens, dogs and horses but occasionally someone's cows will come for a visit. I'm still not used to this. I found a horse happily munching my front lawn last week. It was a shock as they usually stick to grass verges and empty plots, not people's gardens. It's also really embarrassing when someone's chickens are rooting about at the airport or coach station and you have people visiting. Especially if they've never visited before, I always pick up guests hoping there's no chickens, horses, three legged dogs or toothless Jose trying to make conversation when they arrive, or they will think I live in a really backwards hole.

DoorwayToNorway · 10/05/2017 03:05

Another one is smoking. Coming back to Europe from the Americas it always shocks me to see people smoking or to smell smoke. It's rarer here. I was shocked with the number of designated smoking areas, especially in Spain and Portugal, cigarette butts all over the streets and seeing ashtrays on food tables, it looks really odd to me now.

BlueChairs · 10/05/2017 03:47

A dog being cooked on a BBQ in Vietnam ... I'm not kidding either - it was fully formed but skinned , wish i hadn't looked out of the coach window

lizzieoak · 10/05/2017 03:48

FreeNiki, why would Birdz be expelled? She didn't say she organised the kidnapping. I'm surprised at people being surprised about this. Not that it happens in my world, but in some people's universes consequences have actions. They didn't break the guy's legs, just told him the outcome of pestering Birdz. I am faintly envious of Birdz having men who care enough to stand up for her.

lizzieoak · 10/05/2017 04:09

When I was a kid in Canada almost everyone's parents were British, or at the very least grandparents were (mostly Scottish & English). No continentals that I recall - if not Brits then it was because your parents/grandparents were Asian.

So a lot of things in 1980's England (when I first started going as an adult surprised me). I thought it would be a country of old people and was delighted to find young men and The Pretenders and Ian Dury & Camden Locks. Etc.

Was rather let down on the apple pie front though; I'd been raised to believe it must be eaten w cheddar. Most of the English had not got this memo so when I'd ask for cheese I'd get very funny looks and (at times) enormous slabs of cheddar.

I found the English much less obsequious than Canadians. That took some getting used to. People would just say things. To a tall female friend of mine from a lady greengrocer "My, you're a big girl". My friend fled the shop in horror. To me from a friend at work (@ my job in the south of England) "Your English is very good for a foreigner." I pointed out that it is my first (& only) language and she said "yes, but you know! You're not English but still have a good vocabulary." Er ... thanks?

TinyPawz · 10/05/2017 04:23

@Tortycat I honeymooned in South Africa. I'm white, echo is black. We were pointed at regularly. A policeman even commented to exh that he should be ashamed of himself for being with me. I was petrified the whole time we were there.

MadameSimoneSartre · 10/05/2017 04:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds · 10/05/2017 05:01

Very very puzzled by earlier poster who said it was almost unheard of for children to have their own bedroom in Italy. Utter nonsense.

LaLegue · 10/05/2017 05:54

And FreePeaceSweet on top of saying thanks for a lovely story I just wanted to add that I bloody LOVE that album. A much underrated band imho.

sashh · 10/05/2017 06:28

Nope. Local acquaintances openly talking about their maids being forbidden to leave the house ("because the last one ran off"), issuing instructions to young women from SE Asia (who are forced to buy domestic uniforms from their own wages) without making eye contact let alone saying please or thank you, passport confiscations. A small boy fell over in the playground last weekend, and understandably cried for his mother. His mother actually checked to see that the nanny was busy before going to him herself. Every time I think I've adjusted to how batshit mental it is, someone excels themself.

This goes on in London.

And maids passports are taken here.

One of the good things things the last Labour Gov did was change the law that linked the maid's visa to a particular owner employer. A maid who was being abused in one family could seek work with another without her original employer having her deported.

That law has been changed back, so the poor SE Asian maid in Dubai can be brought to the UK and live the same miserable existence.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 10/05/2017 06:45

My biggest culture shock was in Belgium, I lived there for a few months for work. My boss was also British and stopped for petrol but it had a weird system, paying with card first or something. Someone came running out of the shop bit and called 'English? French? Flemish? German'. He apparently spoke all of them and wanted to check but it always struck me that he asked in English. Similarly when I worked in Paris, my French boss and I were in Florence in a gardens and she automatically spoke in English to the Italian person on the gate. Neither had English as first language but it was the done thing to use it.

Another nanny I worked with in Paris was so grateful I was there, as a native English speaker, to help her keep her language skills (learnt from her own nanny as a child). I tried a couple of times to get her to converse at least a bit in French but nope, she was desperate to keep up her skills. Apparently she had many more job offers, could ask more salary, was so much more employable as a fluent English speaker.

I always took it for granted that I spoke English, but it opens your eyes to see just how useful that is. In the end I learnt very very little French, my job was to speak only in English to the toddler and I was there 6 days a week. My French boyfriend would make faces at my appalling accent and attempts at speaking French so I gave up!

I did find Paris to be quite rude but no more than some places I've been in in the UK. A couple of places were happy you tried to maybe ask for a bag in French or whatever but most shop workers would just carry on. It was the same in French speaking Belgium, around Brussels, but where the family I was with actually lived it was Flemish speaking and my attempts to say even thankyou in shops would get grins and perfect English in reply!

Another thing in France that struck me is the difference in milk. In a UK supermarket most of an aisle is fresh milk, there every supermarket I went into had at most 2 types of fresh milk, so only 2 spaces in the fridge, then a whole aisle that milk in cartons you don't refrigerate. But then so much yoghurt!

Paris was also weird to me, not sure if this is all of France or just there, but random doctors all over the place. When I took the toddler to the doctor it was just a random apartment off of a courtyard with others that were homes. Just a small waiting room then the one doctors office. Then going with the mum to a different doctor, on the other side of the city but again one doctor just working in a flat. Like a proper dr office, with all the equipment and decor and that smell you recognise, but not a clinic or anything.

This one may have been the family I worked for but it shocked me the amount of cosmetics etc they used for the toddler! He was just turned 2 when I started, we had a cleanser for his face, little capsules you split open to wipe his eyes. A perfume to spray on him, cream for around his eyes and a gel on his face. And this horrendous contraption for sucking snot, I think called a moushe bebe or something like that. It involved a parent holding him flat on his back and the other putting a tube up his nose and sucking a weird mouthpiece- snot ended in a separate tube not the mouth! But he screamed and cried and was so afraid, I told them I'd never use it on him. No need.

On holiday in New York the biggest cultural shock I had, I was kind of expecting- the patriotism. The sheer amount of flags on buildings, windows, all over. It's an odd thing but seeing an English flag flying here is kind of a bad thing, outside of sporting things!

PiersMorgansTinyOrgan · 10/05/2017 06:46

Re. Birdz' post - I was at a University in the West Midlands in the late '90s when some guys from my course decided to take the law into their own hands, kidnapped a guy in a van who had been accused of harassing a woman. They took him to a field outside of town and gave him a bit of a beating.

Their "white knighting" efforts resulted in the judge taking a very dim view of the whole thing, especially as they were hoping for non custodial sentences based on their exemplary references but he saw straight through that. I have no idea what became of the person at the centre of it all other than she was apparently for it all to go ahead and be the centre of the drama until reality hit and the police got involved (a whole other story there to be honest). One lad involved in particular did his time and was allowed to rejoin the course - was a real mess.

murphys · 10/05/2017 06:52

Tinypaws

Sorry to hear this. When and where was this? If it was within the last ten years or os I am very very shocked.

Things are very different now. Multiracial couples are not unusual to see, back in the apartheid years however, it was definitely different then.

Iamastonished · 10/05/2017 07:03

SteamTrains our local cinema always has a break in the middle of a film. It is one of the reasons I love the place. You can buy a drink or a cup of tea, and the ice cream lady sells ice cream at the front of the cinema. It is a lovely old fashioned tradition that I hope they never get rid of.

PiersMorgansTinyOrgan · 10/05/2017 07:31

Also, re nannys and staff, we are expats and have lived in Africa, Asia and the Middle East with varying amounts of Domestic "Help". We have seen pretty much every type of behaviour that previous posters have described both good and bad.

I would say that the more unpleasant attitudes tend to be brought about by two factors in combination:

  • either the employer having had a perceived rise in social status where they feel that they are now suddenly in a position to treat people badly - this can correlate to the country of employers origin having huge social inequality i.e. India/ Nigeria/ or the employer perceiving that they are now suddenly "living the life" i.e. UK semi 9-5 to Dubai villa and massive disposable income.
  • The second is the immersion in or interaction with the local culture or culture of your "staff", if you are cut off more or less completely from that it seems that empathy levels must drop and "staff" become slightly dehumanised. If you are a second generation in say Dubai or Singapore then sometimes more so - this is, of course a non empirical generalisation.

While we detest it, I will say that it then helps you get a true measure of the people you are dealing with when you see it.

For the record, anyone that has ever worked for us has had a contract, been given paid leave, help with medical bills and screening , school fees for children and treated as an employee. It's a very awkward situation sometimes but we are supporting whole families, and as such they are as far as possible treated as part of ours.

yummycake123 · 10/05/2017 07:49

I moved to the UK 16 years ago, and it took me a while to get used to the fact that here your GP refers you to other Drs.
In France, you have a GP but you also have a dermatologist, a gynaecologist, kids have a paediatrician, etc. You can go directly to a specialist, without referrals.
The first time I had a smear test here and a nurse did it, i found it so strange.
In France the smear test is part of yearly full check (including a thorough breast examination), done by your gynaecologist .
I remember asking the nurse: "Will you check my boobs too?" And she was like "Do you want me to? Do you feel any pain?" Blush
I'm used to this difference now but my parents (who don't live here) still don't understand why, if my son is unwell for example, I'm not taking him to the paediatrician ("Because it doesn't work like this here!!!").

Goldilocks- Yeah! Drs having their offices in residential buildings is very common in France. Same with dentists.