Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

[BestZebbie]

Inspired by the thread about giving women more information about natural birth.... What happened to you/ your friends during pregnancy and birth that came as a total surprise?
I'll start with:
Temporary deafness in late pregnancy (probably fluid related, like swollen ankles)
Arthritis post-pregnancy, apparently triggered by it
Pains when the placenta implanted (meaning that I thought it was all going wrong)

That you truly understand the kindness of strangers when vomiting in a lay-by due to HG. 2 Lorry drivers and a snack van man looked after me as I was on my hands and knees spewing up bile.

That you can get shakes that make it look like you are having a seizure when your milk comes in. Poor DH thought I was dying when it happened to me.

Sinusitis constantly with my second pregnancy and fainting. With my first I had spd, nose bleeds, carpal tunnel syndrome and reflux 🙈 all worth it though! Post birth I wasn't prepared for how my body shape would change and dressing myself was a nightmare! X

You'll see the true colours of people especially the inlaws. Those who can be relied on too

formal yes!!! The doctor tried to remove mine whilst still on delivery suite - no pain relief at all and also had an episiotomy - I found it worse than giving birth. After much screeching they took me to theatre....

This meant I was quite freaked out by the rhythmic sounds from the next bed in the postnatal ward and was feverishly imagining a newborn baby in some kind of wheezing iron lung and wondering why it wasn't being looked after more intensively in a special ward 😂

That 7 years after a 10lb 11oz birth (one where i had over 100 stitches that all burst and become infected) my fanjo is still not right and Dh gets his leg over only once a month as a result. Doesn't help that I have stress incontinence which can make things a bit sore. Strangely at 37 I'm broody again though. Gah.

Timegate- yes!!!!!!!!

Oh another gem- that your bladder can actually fall out of your vagina and just hang around. Meaning if you bend forward quickly, jump, sneeze, get tickled you full on piss yourself.

The fact that even though I weight the same as before pregnancy I am still wider

My boobs occasionally leak during sex. (Is this normal? I stopped bf 12months ago)

My waters didn't break until I was in hospital and 7cm!

I bled a lot after and despite giving birth I still walked like I had a bowling ball between my legs

Formal I had a 'massive obstetric bleed' due to retained products and they were trying to remove them without any form of pain relief. I banned the obstetrician from doing it again, and she said "well, we'll have to put you under general anaesthetic in that case" in a really snotty tone of voice. Crack on, I said. It was much more civilised!

Also, the surprise finger up bum to check that a) you haven't torn through, and b) they haven't stitched you up too completely.

Yes! Wasn't that moment a joy. The whole time I was being stitched and was off my tits on gas and air I kept thinking "you're a sadist" about the registrar doing it. She then told me to relax while she "checked my back passage". Let me shove my finger up your arse and see you relax.

Gas and air made me plot the death of every medical professional in the room.

I was shocked by the amount of water that came out when my waters broke. Thankfully it was in hospital, but goodness, the waterproof mattress would have done nothing!

That the first 37 weeks of your pregnancy will fly by and then the time between then and birth feels like 5 years.
People will ask you if the baby is here when you're standing there talking to them and quite obviously still pregnant.
That after a section you will be scared to go for a poo in case your stomach rips open and your uterus falls down the toilet (...just me?)

You can have a joyful amazing first pregnancy, even being single and escaping an abusive relationship, but then have a shit second one, despite being happily with someone who is ultra supportive and loving.

Varicose veins on the vagina. Cheers.
Uncontrolled farting when laughing.
Heartburn that is actually better described as "stomach acid burning your throat and tongue".
Sweeps are not as casual as they sound. At all.
Some midwives are unbelievably rough and have no bedside manner AT ALL and will make you feel majorly shit.

the slee deprivation. My god. I long for the baby to be born so that I can sleep. I haven't been comfortable for months and I just want to give birth and then go to sleep without waking up with hip pain, dribbling, cramp, the need to pee, not enough room or the sudden urge to scream and cry....

38+4 and very impatiently waiting. Sigh.

I didn't know that a footling breech baby could have his foot stuck in the neck of the womb and that being kicked on the cervix from the inside is not only fucking horrible but it makes you worry his foot will come through and just hang there....

That you could feel so much pain from gallstones (that you didn't even know ypu had at that point) while trying to push that pushing is actually the lesser pain.

That having had a miscarriage you are so hearbroken you think you might never have another child.
That when you finally decide to go for it you hold your breath the entire pregnancy.
And that when that baby is finally here and they are absolutely perfect you will look at him and think "I'm so glad I got brave"

The relief of realising you are happily done with pregnacies - because you feared that having lost a baby you might never get to that point. because the mind is a weird thing and despite knowing you can never replace your baby you still wonder if that's what you are trying to do deep down. And when you have your 7th baby and you say "you know what, I'm done" you finally realise that you weren't trying to replace the one that didn't make it, your family is complete, even though she is gonna be missed forever. And that is ok

There was no where near as much blood, during birth, as I thought there would be.... for both mine it was literally a tablespoon if that....

Oh and morning sickness is the worst thing in the world.... horrific... (well for me it was)

Hormones playing absolute havoc with my skin whilst pregnant, almost constant sinusitis, precisely zero energy.

After baby - how bloody soon after giving birth people will start asking if you'll have another. I was first asked 9 days post partum

No-one wants to know your pregnancies were pretty much symptom free, labours were pain relief free and less than three hours and you got off the delivery table feeling like you could run a marathon...(which was really odd as I normally wouldn't feel like running to the garden gate from the front door)

I had no pain relief In either labour except tens (no, to this day I couldn't tell you what it actually does!....just don't start on setting 10 or you will feel like you've been electrocuted )
I enjoyed the pushing stage - only took about 6 pushes for each baby
I'm fine with giving birth, but hate pg!!

Only because I think I shared entirely negative things earlier....

That first labours do not have to last hours and hours and hours. Ds1 was out 2 hours and 45 minutes after my waters broke with the first big contraction :)

That some labours can be enjoyable. No, really. Yes ds2's birth hurt, but it was incredibly managable and very calm and I smiled a lot and genuinely loved all but that weird (thankfully very very short in my case) transition period.

That feeling your child moving inside of you is utterly beautiful. Yes it can be uncomfortable, to say the least, and it can look weird as hell, but oh my god, it is amazing.

That looking into their faces just after they have been born is... is like seeing a complete stranger you have known forever, if that makes any sense. Or at least it was for me.

And that no matter how hard pregnancy and birth were, they were well worth it (must have been seeing as we have 3 dc) for me. Hardest and best thing I have ever done :)

SPD - oh the pain, and the fact that it can go on for 21 months following the blooming birth

The bleeding - I had no idea it'd happen after a c-section too. Not sure where I thought it would all go, but there you are.

That people don't talk about food allergies in babies and just how very very sick undiagnosed ones can make them.

And similarly that all problems with breastfeeding aren't solved by formula.

Also, mortifyingly - that when your waters burst it isn't just one woosh of water then it's done, the water keeps on going. DH's car seats were more than a bit soggy after a midnight dash to hospital

Oh the piles after, and bleeding and huge painful leaky boobs. During pregnancy hurting pelvis, boobs, back, every joint. Labour isn't bad stomach ache its in your back too. And after 3 kids no matter how much pelvic floor exercising you do you're going to wee every time you sneeze, cough, laugh, run, bounce forever!!

My Sister wasn't illergic to anything prior to her first pregnancy, following ds1 she became intolerant to fruit apart from apples. Following her second pregnancy she became intolerant to all dairy.

That hospitals can have a "no pain relief" policy.

And that my local hospital was one of the aforementioned bastards club.