Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

[BestZebbie]

Inspired by the thread about giving women more information about natural birth.... What happened to you/ your friends during pregnancy and birth that came as a total surprise?
I'll start with:
Temporary deafness in late pregnancy (probably fluid related, like swollen ankles)
Arthritis post-pregnancy, apparently triggered by it
Pains when the placenta implanted (meaning that I thought it was all going wrong)

[Littleoakhorn]

The amazing sense of smell you get right from the start. Nice if you're in a flower filled garden (as I was the first time I noticed it).

[DowntonDiva]

While pregnant

• carpal tunnel
• indigestion

-insomnia

• forever lubricated downstairs I had to change my pants several times a day

Birth

• that it was the most crippling, humbling pain imaginable
• epidural is my friend

Post birth

• episiotomy recovery will take 3 weeks to be able to sit - you will not be wandering around in tesco the next day!!
• first poo is traumatic
• contraction pains while breastfeeding are strong!
• breastfeeding hurts for the first few weeks
• A lot of weight will come off then put it back on again
• baby will not sleep all the time, in fact they will never sleep!!

[Hopelass]

I've found out something new in my second pregnancy that I'd never heard of and never been warned about: Vulvar varicose veins. Nice. This shall be my last pregnancy.

[Mermaid36]

OMG! The first poo after my c-section!!!

Simultaneously the best and worst toilet trip of my life....

[Hagothehills]

The first poo after birth hurts almost as much as crowning.

Manual manipulation of the foetal head- this phrase should send shudders up anyone's spine. Had me crawling up the bed even with an epidural.

Sometimes, epidurals only work on one side. This is a fresh hell.

SPD is the devil's own work and anyone telling you you need to get on with it can get to fuck.

Not being allowed to take a decongestant or proper painkillers when pregnant with the flu is bloody barbaric I know I know, risks to baby and all that

Giving up smoking and drinking is surprisingly easy when you're pregnant, and surprisingly easy to keep up once the baby is born.

The right midwife can save you from a whole world of trauma. The wrong one could be a trigger for pnd.

Neonatal jaundice is a good reason to not be able to bf (baby too weak to latch) but the guilt for failing never ever ever ever goes away.

Thinking 'are they really going to send me home with this tiny fragile little baby? I crap I haven't got a bloody clue how to keep this kid alive, I can't even keep a plant alive'

Induction hurts. A lot.

If you get cannulated by a nurse who is clearly incapable (stabbed 9 times. 9!) you might end up with cannula scars on your hands that don't go away

[NotYoda]

Re: point after the birth

I found out the point of a bidet, and was very thankful for it

[LaPharisienne]

• pregnancy would be only boring
  
• that the baby turning up wouldn't feel real until they popped out
  
• that having a baby would be the best and most wonderful thing ever and that I would be happier than I thought possible
  
• that nothing about birth was predictable or knowable in advance
  
• that seeing my partner morph into the world's most amazing father would be heartbreakingly lovely

[NotYoda]

aargh, I'll try again

re: pooing after the birth

I found out the point of a bidet and was very thankful for it

[BestZebbie]

It also now gives me the rage in tv shows where they strap a typical size pregnancy bump onto a man to give him empathy for his tired, pregnant partner - if it was just carrying round a backpack, there wouldn't be half the issues! Apart from the obvious thing where the fake bump should be a percentage of his total weight, not the actual size of weight gain on a 5 foot 2 woman, it needs to be held up by his pelvic floor, not his shoulders, and he needs to have a broken pelvis and the first throes of congestive heart failure at the same time (the breathlessness, fluid, fatigue etc). Otherwise he will end up feeling he has experienced it and really got off very lightly, kind of missing the point!

[SnugglySnerd]

That you have to sleep on a towel for weeks because of all the leaking milk.
That being induced can take 4 days and the drip is like some kind of torture implement.
I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my second and have just found out that my c section scar hurts all the time and that this will probably continue until the baby is born!

[BestZebbie]

It also now gives me the rage in tv shows where they strap a typical size pregnancy bump onto a man to give him empathy for his tired, pregnant partner - if it was just carrying round a backpack, there wouldn't be half the issues! Apart from the obvious thing where the fake bump should be a percentage of his total weight, not the actual size of weight gain on a 5 foot 2 woman, it needs to be held up by his pelvic floor, not his shoulders, and he needs to have a broken pelvis and the first throes of congestive heart failure at the same time (the breathlessness, fluid, fatigue etc). Otherwise he will end up feeling he has experienced it and really got off very lightly, kind of missing the point!

[BagPusscatnip]

That even if you have a c section you will bleed afterwards. A lot. For a long time!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

That you will end up with teenagers.

[NarcyCow]

SPD. It's absolutely crippling.

After pains. I had none after DD. The nurses on the postnatal ward kept offering me pain relief and being surprised when I said no. I was too embarrassed to ask what was supposed to be sore, because I felt fine? After DS was born, I understood (and took the drugs!).

[abbinobb]

That whilst you may be tempted to spray your vagina area with the shower head to clean all the birth stuff away during the post birth shower, this is the worst idea in the world when you have a tear and refused stitches. my mum was helping me shower and just looked at me like "wff did you do that for?" I screamed and cried.

also, that peeing really really hurts after and that if you do some sort of weird yoga type position, standing on your hands and feet to pee in the cardboard thing then ita possible to pee without feeling like your being sliced with razor blades but you will get piss on your face and probably won't even care.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

That after a c section and an epidural you can sit in pints of your own blood and not notice a thing.

That morning sickness lasts for 24 hours per day and for 4 1/2 months and then is replaced by heartburn that lasts for the other 4 1/2 months.

Thinking nothing of drinking 12 litres of milk each day. (Only thing that kept the heartburn at bay)

[MissHooliesCardigan]

Waking up on day 3 with 2 rock hard cannon balls stuck to your chest (I was a B cup pre-pregnancy and it was a total shock).
The first few poos your baby does are not actually poo but treacle.
Babies can do a poo which goes all the way up their back necessitating changing all their clothes.
A textbook delivery from a midwive's perspective can still be awful for the woman.
Some babies simply refuse to breastfeed no matter how many lactation consultants you see.

[Steamedapple1]

That you can be in slow labour for 4 days and then push for over three hours
Gas and air gets taken off you to push that was fun
The first poo after an episiotomy is the scariest poo of your life

[Bear2014]

Heartburn and reflux so bad in third trimester that you have to sleep on 5 pillows or be woken up choking on your own stomach acid

If your baby turns and stays transverse, you have to be admitted to hospital from 38 weeks and basically live there for 2 weeks, all over Christmas and New Year in my case.

Stomach still numb 2.5 years after c-section.

[LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF]

Birth plans. Mine was 'no epidural, absolutely NO pethidrine, possibly gas & air'. Mwah ha ha! Gas and air in ambulance, literally begged on my knees for pethidrine (& got it!), followed by epidural and eventually, emergency c-section.

[Starduke]

That you can be sick so often you burn your mouth until it bleeds and then can't even drink water for 48 hours

Just how difficult it is to get up from a low bed / low sofa when heavily pregnant

That it can take 4 years for a lactose intolerance to be diagnosed - in the meantime you're clearing up sick and being woken frequently through the night

[Bear2014]

Oh and even though you have a c-section, bleeding for 9 weeks post partum.

[LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF]

Oh, and the 'magical moment' that is farting in the obstetrician's as he does an examination, possibly following through but having no idea because of said epidural.

[LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF]

bear Yes! I had no idea, I assumed the bleeding only happened after a vaginal birth. Nope. And it goes on and on and on!

[BummyMummy77]

Hitting the wall. Pretty much everyone I know has done this for some amount of time at least. I was with sil during her birth and hers lasted five minutes.

Mine was 6 hours of "I can't do this."

If I was expecting it to happen it may not have been so terrifying.