things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

[BusyCee]

repetition
loud noises
things being spilled on the floor
being touched

To be fair all the above happened far less frequently before I had children. Repetition is a particular annoyance - not just me saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, but chanting, singing the same line of a song repeatedly, taunting etc.

Love them, but dear God for just 24hrs of peace....

The teenage requests, endless! Money, bras, lifts yada yada

Having to talk to people on the school run. sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I want an unvisability cloak.

Dd2 talks to me when shes upstairs and Im down. I can't fecking hear you.

Gods yes the touching. My poor husband was convinced I'd gone off him at one point. I haven't, I just couldn't physically bear to be touched after a day with the clingy toddler and refluxy velcro baby. He still doesn't understand why I shut them all out of the kitchen when he gets home and I'm cooking.

Fidgeting/poking/kicking when I do agree to being sat on.

Being followed to the toilet and quizzed on my activities in there.

Blocking and, 18mo DD's favourite trick, squeeze between mummy and the cupboard/oven/pan drawers/work top while she's using sharp things, hot things and heavy things. Scream if I'm kicked/shouted at or knocked over.

Fettling. DH does this as well. If I've set the washing machine/dryer/dishwasher/dehumidifier or left something in the oven/on the hob or set the fire, put a pile of clothes aside in the children's bedrooms etc, SOMEONE will come along and change the settings, empty the bag, stir the sauce, turn the oven down, close the door etc. Drives me batshit. I know the kids are doing it out of curiosity/general childish idiocy but DH is bloody 30 and should know better.

20yr old DS opens fridge, peers in forlornly and asks "What is there to eat Mum" STILL - AT 20!!!

I have to admit I now just shoot him a look and say something like "Stand there long enough and something will jump out at you, I'm sure"

And why was it always "Mum" shouted in the middle of the night for nightmare/wet bed? Dad was lying right next to me (but of course never got up because they were shouting for Me).

I think it is far easier to hold down a job than to look after children all day long without a break. At least if you work you get a break from it albeit you come home tired....

Men have it far easier in that they invariably don't take years off the world of work and in the process stitch up their cv their national insurance and pensions. They are also not cut off from the human race like most women who take time off from their jobs and make sacrifices for their children.

Motherhood only really benefits men not women if you ask me lol. Nice though it is it is relentless and grossly undervalued. Women should be applauded and not overlooked sidelined or considered to be 'doing nothing' whilst looking after their children and bringing up future generations. They after all will be the future MP's, the future GP;s and the future teachers of the future ......

If it was men who did the childraising and the women went out to work then the world of parenting would be deemed a very praiseworthy act of sacrifice indeed.

And they say equality exists pah I doubt it lol.

Oh, and the morning routine. Every day it's the same. At 8.40 we put shoes and a coat on, pick up the nursery bag, walk out of the door, walk the 200yds to nursery, go in, put shoes in the box under the hooks, hang up coat, take indoor shoes out of bag, put them on, hang up bag.

Every morning, somewhere in those 200yds, he forgets how to work his shoes, coat zip and the velcro on his bag. It then takes at least five full minutes to do something he repeats in 20 seconds when we get home again. I can feel myself being judged when I stand there ignoring his pleas of "Can you help me mummy?" while everyone else is changing their kids' shoes for them. No. Not only have nursery asked us to teach them to do it themselves, he bloody did it himself four minutes ago!

Having someone trail after you everywhere in the house like ducklings trail mother duck. To the kitchen, the bedroom, the kitchen again, the bin and then looking hurt when you close the bathroom door on them.

"What's for dinner?"

Thomas the tank engine. I did not think I was capable of such hatred

The 'You do it Mummy.' For everything. I think DS1 would actually get me to eat his dinner for him if he could. He is destined for a great career in management...

Tapping.

children tap a lot.

"How long before dinner's ready?"

"Are we nearly there yet?" - when we're a mile up the road and have 180 more to go

Yes, how long before...

How long til dinner? How long til Max is here?

Usually asked 1h after lunch or at 7am if Max is due after dinner.

Ooh yes, tapping. DS cracks his fingers. One By One. Constantly. And DD repeatedly taps out a rapid tune with her long nails on the kitchen worktop. It really does drive me utterly insane.

Actually adults also tap a lot. Fil sits and bangs his heels on the hard floor for the entire time of his visit AND taps his walking stick on the same hard floor. It is also a stick that rattles (think it's an adjustable one), so I get tapping shoes, and a tapping, rattling stick for about two hours. No-one else appears to notice it - just me!

(Not to mention people clicking pens when they're concentrating). But now I'm deviating. As you were ... annoying children.

Oh my God the turn-taking, for the love of God the turn-taking

From when mine were younger, the constant 'why'. Especially ds1, he used to do it repetitively for extended periods in response to anything you said to him. Made me faintly murderous.

Mine are older now but there is still a tone on 'mum' or 'mummy' that means they have forgotten something I'm expected to instantly sort that fills me with absolute dread. It could be something simple or impossible to sort but the tone indicates I'm expected to make it all better. Sometimes it just makes me want to run......

Dollius - I told DS1, and I'll tell DS2 when he gets big enough "IF you walk in front of me, I will tread on/kick/trip you. You will get hurt. Stop doing it". I also told DS1 the same with regards to the pushchair "I will run you over, you will get hurt".

Amazingly, it works 90% of the time. He's never been run over/badly hurt, although I have tripped him at least once, and trodden on him a couple of times - but that's what's going to happen if he does it to other people who aren't his family, so he needs to learn not to do it.

DH is also incredibly irritating - I didn't realise how much so until we were married. Singing snippets of songs, over and over, in a more and more stylised way each time; "doing" the drumbeats of songs so he sounds like loud personal stereo noises coming out of someone's headphones; tapping (mostly in the car); his jaw clicking while eating... I could go on.

I absolute abhor tapping! Can't bear it I simply can't ....

My 2 yo DD has developed a really irritating habit of leaning against my back with hers while I'm changing the baby or refusing to bear any weight on her legs when I'm trying to get her dressed/shoes on/to sit on the potty.

Sadly I also had the misfortune to marry into a family of faffers and it would appear DD is one too. I really hope DS is different!

Yyyy a thousand times yes to so many of these!
And my own pet hate: ds prefaces every single question with " I have a question ". JUST ASK.

Never being allowed to say "I don't know" dd2 is 7 and expects me to have the answer to EVERYTHING and I don't know just isn't good enough. Today - "Why were the first olympians naked?" "Why is Pudsey Bear yellow?" "Why is it raining" why, why, why why sodding why!!

and being leaned on, it's not a cuddle, you don't need a hug you just want to dig your bony bits into my side!

The negotiations. Having to negotiate about every single fucking aspect of existence.
I am not a natural diplomat. It takes every shred of patience I have not to roar 'just fucking DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT' whilst tearing at my hair and spitting.

The touching. The screeching. The malignity upon this earth that is Lego.