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Original poster

Things you used to think and now can't quite believe you did

413 replies

treaclesoda · 07/05/2014 09:56

I saw a seagull flying and it suddenly occurred to me that when I was little, I thought there were two different types of seagulls. Ones with legs, and ones without. Naturally the ones with legs had no choice but to fly all the time Grin

I was a pretty bright child, I can't imagine why I thought that.

Please tell me someone else out there thought the same?

OP posts:
alemci · 07/05/2014 21:20

when about 10 also thought sperm could swim across the bed so wearing knickers were a contraceptive. my mum fell about laughing.

StealthPolarBear · 07/05/2014 21:21

Yes to wombles!
"Wombles of wimbledon, common are we"

IkeaFurnitureAssemblyChampions · 07/05/2014 21:21

The cat would run away when I went to pick her up, and Mum told me that it was because she knew what I was thinking. After that I always went over to the cat to pick her up while thinking, 'I'm not going to pick you up'. With outstretched arms still of course. I could never figure out why the cat wasn't fooled!

StealthPolarBear · 07/05/2014 21:24

When we were very young my cousin and I entered a magazine competition to win a boat. We had so little understanding of probability that we were sure we'd win. we had long detailed conversations about how wed share and where wed store it. Not in a "when I win the lottery" way, we were absolutely certain we'd win

StealthPolarBear · 07/05/2014 21:24

When we were very young my cousin and I entered a magazine competition to win a boat. We had so little understanding of probability that we were sure we'd win. we had long detailed conversations about how wed share and where wed store it. Not in a "when I win the lottery" way, we were absolutely certain we'd win

NoArmaniNoPunani · 07/05/2014 21:27

NoArmani. Why did you think a baby horse was called a cunt? We need to know.

I don't really know. I think I confused the words colt, cunt and foal. I lived a very sheltered life

Darmok · 07/05/2014 21:35

I thought Elizabeth Taylor and Joan Collins were the same person. I thought one played the other, I wasn't sure which way round it was.

That was until I was about 35 and it dawned on me Blush

Franke · 07/05/2014 21:35

I thought that about sperm jumping across the sheets too.

I thought a bugger was a male dog.

I thought Oxon was a place in Oxfordshire.

I thought people who got shot in cowboy films were sad people who volunteered to die.

I thought babies came out of your bottom (didn't realise there were three holes, and the weewee hole was obviously too small)

I used to believe in homeopathy.

thesortingtwat · 07/05/2014 21:42

My Dad convinced me that money was printed as the notes were pushed out of the cashpoint machine, meaning you had to wave the notes to dry the ink before you put them in your wallet. I believed this until I got my first cashpoint card at 17.

EurotrashGirl · 07/05/2014 21:46

Ikea I thought that too about sex!

When I 4 I thought that shopkeepers must be very rich because they got to keep all the money spent in the shop.

ProcessYellowC · 07/05/2014 21:48

I used to think that Santa was actually a sharp-suited sunglasses-wearing businessman in a Manhattan skyscraper for the rest of the year, it was the only possible way he could afford all those toys. Though I was pretty smart for figuring it out. Blush

I also believed until this thread that there was a special dye in swimming pool water...

WitchWay · 07/05/2014 21:49

My Dad used to throw a tennis ball up high in the garden & catch it, higher & higher. Then he'd warn us (me & DB) it was going to be a really big one & throw it so high we couldn't see it. We'd be looking & waiting & after about 5 mins he'd drop it behind him "There it is!". Took us years to realise he'd been holding it all the time Grin

TrustMeImLying · 07/05/2014 21:56

For a very long time I believed that rumble strips were designed so blind people knew when they were approaching a roundabout and it was time to break Blush

I just had a moment of realisation one day whilst driving over a set that that clearly was not true. My dad almost keeled over laughing him when I told him I now knew that was a lie.

TrustMeImLying · 07/05/2014 21:58

Oh and I also thought Arkansas and Arkansaw were different States until someone else mentioned it on a MN thread Blush

StealthPolarBear · 07/05/2014 22:01

Oh yes I used to assume my parents were millionaires. They're comfortable but not in that league. I had no idea how they kept buying stuff (house, cars, food etc) if they weren't. I had no idea that these jobs they did meant that they got money every month! I also didnt understa d what a mortgage was thougb thats less silly

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 07/05/2014 22:05

When l was little I used to think that 'To Let' sign boards on houses should actually say 'Toilet' but the 'I' was missing.

Makes you wonder what was going through my brain.

Also only realised recently that Phoenix are fictitious birds. Called DH down to see one in the garden. It was a buzzard, he pissed himself at my stupidity. Grin

ChasedByBees · 07/05/2014 22:08

I needed to get my PhD thesis bound and so I rang a bookmaker. I had a most confusing conversation.

TrustMeImLying · 07/05/2014 22:11

My dad told me he had a toupee that he glued on, which obviously I believed because he could wiggle his hairline. I had told loads of people (pretty much everyone I met between the ages of 6 and 10) about my dads toupee. I was obsessed with it Grin

LackaDAISYcal · 07/05/2014 22:13

That Yorkshire means "Home of the Blessed" and that my DH's family are descended from River gypsies. Thanks, DH, for letting me make an arse of myself over those two Hmm

LackaDAISYcal · 07/05/2014 22:16

God yes Stealth, when I was 18 and started getting junk mail, I entered the Reader's Digest Prize draw and I was absolutely certain that I was actually going to win something. I had a fucking pile of unread books thanks to that little delusion. My mum and dad just smiled ruefully at me every time another one arrived at the house.

HavannaSlife · 07/05/2014 22:18

I remember my great great aunt telling us that when she was in labour she still had no idea how the baby was going to get out, that must have been a bloody shock!

TypicaLibra · 07/05/2014 22:19

I thought that 'Cleveland' was actually 'Cleverland' and used to think it would be a great place for the Mister Men to live. Thought that for years - had relatives who lived there, and everytime we saw the sign as we drove into the county I would say 'Now we're in Cleverland'. Parents laughed but didn't correct me Grin

MooncupGoddess · 07/05/2014 22:22

I assumed for years that kerb crawling was a minor driving offence. I thought that it was outrageous that the then (I think) Director for Public Prosecutions had to resign for kerb crawling....

MrsGSR · 07/05/2014 22:22

Similar to the rumble strip one, I thought the beeping at pedestrian crossings were for blind drivers.

I also got confused about split ends and why you should regularly have a trim, at age 6ish I told all my friends that hair goes curly if it gets too long.

duckyneedsaclean · 07/05/2014 22:23

I used to think prostitute meant protestant.

Couldn't understand why kids at school got so offended when others said 'your mum's a prostitute'

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