My Uncle (hereafter known as Uncle Knobhead!) is the biggest cheeky fucker I know. When My Grandad died, (his and my Dad's dad), a small inheritance was left to share between the 2 brothers and my Aunt. Uncle Knobhead pleaded poverty and asked to hang on to all 3 shares for a bit as he was struggling to pay off a loan. Aunt and Dad didn't really have much choice as Uncle K for some unknown reason was made executor of the will. We never saw a penny of this and not long after, he took his whole family on a very expensive holiday.
A few years later, my Mum's brother died, and being single with no children, his house was sold and the profits shared between my Mum and her sister. Uncle Knobhead got news of the windfall and once again pleaded poverty, even though he'd just bought a new landrover and a boat. He thought my parents would willingly hand over a couple of grand, but they were wise to him after the inheritance incident.
His son receives disability living allowance, but because everyone knows his terrible track record with money, he is legally not allowed anywhere near it, but it doesn't stop him trying to convince my cousin to use his money to buy luxuries (which Uncle Knobhead would 'borrow')
I had another friend who used to come round to my house and help herself to whatever was in the fridge and cupboards without asking. After one night out I was horrifically hungover. She turned up at 7 in the morning and made herself a bacon sandwich! I was too ill to protest. Who uses a whole pack of bacon for one sandwich, and doesn't even offer tho host any! The gall of it! That was just the tip of the iceberg with her though, I'd get really angry if I told more of her stories!
Mexican house intruder wins! He'd still be doing it if the real guests hadn't unexpectedly turned up! Imagining the look of horror on gooseberry lady's face when she discovers the bush has been picked clean, by its owners!