Random Act of Kindness - to balance all the ranty threads, tell me of a random act of kindness that you have never forgotten.

[MmeLindor.]

There is a lovely thread in Classics about Random Acts of Kindness so I thought we could do with a lovely fluffy thread to distract us from the shooting and disembowelment going on at the moment.

I will start.

When DD was going through the "terrible twos", she had a tantrum at the supermarket. She lay on the floor and wept bitterly because I would not give her what she wanted it. I tried reasoning with her, I tried being stern, and finally I walked away.

The sound of her screams echoed in the supermarket, people were looking at us. I thought that they were judging me, thinking that I was a bad mother.

A man walked by with his two daughters - about 9 and 11yo they were. He stopped, patted my arm and said, "It is a phase. It passes. You are doing the right thing".

It meant so much to me, that I was not alone and that other people were not judging me but feeling sorry for me. And probably being thankful that their DC were past that stage.

Has a stranger ever done or said something nice to you that you still remember years later?

Kitstwins your story is incredibly moving. It reminded me of the night I'd had DS by c-section and was exhausted and in a lot of pain. DS had been feeding almost exhaustively and was finally asleep so I was dozing. He woke up again crying and I physically could not push myself upright to pick him up. I was in so much pain and had absolutely no strength. I couldn't reach the button to call the nurse either. An orthodox Jewish woman on the opposite side of the ward who had her baby a few hours earlier, struggled out of bed, shuffled over to me, picked up DS and handed him to me. Then she waited till he'd fed and put him back in the cot.

Oh Kitstwins. That story has made me properly cry.

My DS1 had to be resuscitated 5 times during his first 3 days and spent time in special care. By the time I got him back up to the ward with me I was a nervous wreck, unable to sleep, terrified to take my eyes off him, completely convinced Id lose him at any minute. Most of the midwifes were clearly irritated by my irrational behaviour, floor pacing and constant questioning "Is he OK?" One lovely midwife took time to sit with me and tell me "He's going to be fine. You are going to have to put your faith in God that he is going to be fine". For some reason I believed her. I honestly think Id have gone completely insane without her wise words. I wish she could see what a handsome strapping 13yo he is now. I think about her often.

Thanks to everyone for sharing.

I also want to pay tribute to a midwife who helped me decide what to do when I found I was pregnant(unplanned) with my DS. I was in a right flap about what would be for the best-having the baby or not having the baby. I couldn't think straight, had no support from my family (nearly all mad), miles away from them anyway, and I'd split with the dad in the most extreme circumstances.

In my bruised brain I thought if I could go onto a maternity ward and just look at babies(I know, I sound mad too and in a way I was), I would have a revelatory moment and know what to do!

I went to my local hospital and explained myself to this midwife. Even though I must've seemed bats, she sat me down, got me a cuppa and a biscuit, while gently explaining that I couldn't just "go and look at some babies". She sat with me while they called security for more than an hour, never judged me, never told me what to do, just listened. She was amazing. Talk about beyond the call of duty.

Some weeks later I had a scan in the same hospital. I took a big bunch of flowers with me and they found her for me(I only knew her first name). She didn't think she'd done anything extraordinary, but she did. I was at my very lowest and without her kindness, I might not now have my beautiful darling son.

God I do sound mad.

We were on an 11hr flight to Singapore when without warning ds threw up everywhere. The flight attendant cleaned everything up, then brought ds a blanket while she handwashed his clothes and put them over a warm part of the plane near the doors. Then she brought me a cup of tea and ds and dd some aeroplane toys to play with.

All this with the nicest smile and sweetest temper that made all the difference.

kitstwins wow... (sob) Please write a letter to the Jewish Chronicle and tell them your story. It would mean so much, and they would get to hear of it.

Peppermint.... sniff

I was a yoof backpacking round Oz when my accommodation fell through on New Years eve. I was stuck in Sydney with nowhere to stay on the busiest night of the year. I walked round every hostel in the city and called everyone I knew for a floor to crash on, to no avail.
I was prepared to walk to airport and sleep on my rucksack all night in waiting room when young bloke behind me at phone booth offered help.
He took me to his house with all his friends where I got dressed up and taken out for FAB new years at rooftop nightclub with midnight view of new years fireworks as only Sudney can do over the bridge (ticket only event - he had a spare worth lots of dollars!). To cap it off I was included with all his friends, given a place to stay for that night and the next. I couldn't have had a better time with nicer people. Talk about from Hell to Heaven!

This thread has made me shed quite a few tears...
Had a random act of kindness myself just now. Came back from yet another job interview feeling pretty deflated (I'm perfect on paper but lose my confidence in an interview situation). Went to Marks for chocolate (medicinal purpose!) and an older woman beamed at me and told me I was 'beautifully tall' and that she'd always wanted to be tall like me. Made me smile for ages and I suddenly felt so much better. Who cares about jobs, I am tall, me!

I was two weeks overdue and went into hospital to be induced. Within a few minutes of having the pessary, DD became very distressed and her heartrate plummeted and there was a flurry of activity. I had an anaesthetist in one ear and the obstetrician in the other ear and several midwives in the room/between my legs etc. There was a lot of information to take in and it was obvious it was being treated as an emergency.

I was trying really hard not to be a baby, but I was frightened and started to do the silent weeping yet trying-not-yo-thing. One kind midwife kept coming back to give my hand a squeeze, every minute or so. She was the one that confirmed to the consultant that the slow heartbeat was definitely DD's, not mine, and once the decision had been made that I needed a EMCS, she came with us into theatre and in between doing her job, she kept coming back to squeeze my hand and I felt so cared for.

Another midwife found me on my second night in hospital, weeping in the dark in the canteen. I'd gone in there after not wanting to draw attention to my tears in the ward where I was with other new mums. I didnt realise at the time, but was on a massive drugs come down after the GA and having stopped the morphine that morning, but just felt so massively incapable and alone. She was so kind and spent about an hour helping me BF DD. She then took DD for an hour so I could have a rest. I never got her name, but to both Stephanie and the unnamed midwife in Exeter, thank you so much.

Ok ok I know I said I wouldn't post any more but....

The midwives at the hospital when I had DC. I had to be kept in for an emergency blood transfusion overnight after spending 3 days on the ward and was petrified. Even though I was there as an NHS patient they found a spare private room for me for that night so that DH could stay with me.

And one that went both ways:
On holiday last year DH, DS (who was 2 1/2 at the time) and me went to visit Pooles Cavern. We weren't sure how DS would behave on the tour, but we needn't have worried, he was fantastic listening to the guide and asking questions and even answered one too ("What does this stone look like?" "An eye.") He did wander and chatter a bit, but was very good. Anyway, at the end of the tour DS spontaneously ran over to the guide and said "Thank you".
When we got back to the giftshop the guide came over to me to ask if it would be ok for him to give DS one of the bouncy balls he had seen him eyeing up before the tour as it had made his day having such a polite and attentive child on the tour! It was only a little 50p thing but was such a lovely gesture and DS couldn't wait to show his grandparents what he got and tell them why he got it. A good lesson for him that kindness comes back!!

My MIL is a respite carer and has become very attached to one little girl she helps who got strep B at birth and is now quite severely brain damaged and life limited.

One day a few weeks ago, her parents laptop - which contains all of their photos of this precious little girl - died and it looked like they'd lost everything.

DH got his Mum to bring it over and he fixed it for them saving everything.

I'm so proud of him.

A particularly random one:
I was walking home with ds across the bottom of the park, hugely stressed with a 6-week-old, breast thrush, no sleep, no roof, etc.
On a bench was a white envelope which said 'For You'

So I sat down and opened it. There was a handwritten note which said something like 'You are wonderful. Have a little treat, like a cup of tea and a bun. Random acts of kindness make the world a better place.' And £2.50.

I didn't need the money but it cheered me up no end - eventually resealed it and put it on another park bench for someone else.

All the people who've ever been on a bus or train or in a confined space and helped entertain my toddler. Actually, what really comes to mind are all the admin and medical and similar staff who have fought their computer systems to help me get what I need at the time. GP and hospital receptionists get a bad press but so many of them have really helped me through hard times.

I lost control on a corner due to a flat tyre (that hadn't materialised til the corner), and crashed into a hedge, with my 2 children in the back, and one in my big fat belly. The woman took me in, called the recovery, made me sweet tea, gave the children a drink and snack, called the childminder to come and collect the kids and then chatted to me about things to take my mind off it all. I will remember that kindness forever.

In fact, the other night, as I arrived home I saw 2 cars just outside my house. I thought they had crashed so went down and offered for them to come into my house to sort things out and get a cup of tea. Turned out it was a flat tyre, not a crash. But the people we so grateful and even said before they left that they would never forget the kindness. I'd like to think I would have been so kind anyway, but the fact it had happened to me before probably did have an impact on how I dealt with seeing a similar thing.

Pay it forward. They'll go and do something nice for someone else on the back of that - how cool is that!

I was 11 years old when my father died and I went to live with my much older sister, who had 2 small children. (Our mother had died when I was 6yrs, so we were on our own.)
My darling sister used to struggle with the kids to drive me to the bus stop across town, so I could catch the bus to my school, blooming miles away.... Until, her neighbour, this lovely older man.... saw her struggling every morning, and kindly offered to drive me to the bus stop - as he said it was on his way to work.After much persuasion, she agreed.
And, he took me every morning for about 3 months... and we realised that near the end (before I moved schools) - that the bus stop was actually in the opposite direction of his work - and he would go back home after dropping me off... then, back on his way to his place of work.

I forgot one- the midwife who, when I was admitted with pregnancy complications, was so very kind and really listened to me and when things started to go wrong, got me transferred to a hospital with a level 3 NICU and came with me in the ambulance. She was magic. I tried to send her a card but the ward said they had no one of that name, she must have been agency staff. She went the extra mile for me on and made a huge difference to one of the most difficult nights of my life.

My best friend was in London for work and had her wallet stolen from her handbag as she got into her taxi for the train station. She realised on the way and burst out crying- the wallet had everything in it, all her money and even her train ticket in it. The cabbie drove her straight to the police station so she could report it, and waited for her so he could drive her to the station (the police had arranged for her to be able get the train anyway). He parked up and walked her to her train to make sure she was OK, then pressed a £20 note into her hand, refusing to give his name and address so she could pay it back. He told her to pay it forward...

This is one I did but am only just realising now I'm a mum how much I actually helped.

As a teenager I worked in a campsite in the south of France. One evening a British family's tent got broken into and their DS's rucksack stolen. The rucksack contained his hearing aid . They'd found some bits and pieces from the bag thrown away but couldn't find the hearing aid. They were so upset they were chucking in the holiday early and going home.

I spent the next two days ringing around the nearby campsites and getting them to search their grounds. Eventually the bag was found with the hearing aid still inside! I pestered our security guards to go and collect it then I rang the family to let them know it'd been found and posted the hearing aid to them. I got a lovely thank you card

The taxi driver who took me home late at night when I said I had no money. I'd said he could come to the shop the next day to get it but he said he had a daughter my age and it was ok.
The bus driver who let me on with DD in her buggy even though there was already one on.
The helpful lady who sat with me at a bus stop when I felt faint (I was about 8mo pg) and called a taxi for me.
The fab checkout operator in M&S who asked if we had a £5 voucher as I'd spent over £25- then gave us it anyway.
Loads more but they escape me for now.
I always try to be kind to people, because I believe it creates a ripple effect (am not catholic and I know it sounds a bit "woo")

Kitstwins, that's made me cry too.

Once I dropped my purse as I was getting into the car. We lived in central London, so when I realised, I thought there wasn't much hope of getting it back. But when I got home there was a call from the police. it had been handed in. When I went to pick it up the police man gave me the address of the person who'd handed it in and said please do visit to say thanks. there was something about the way he said it. I did. (I would have anyway.)
It had been handed in by a teenager from a really rough housing estate. Absolutely every penny was still in the purse. Apparently his mates had egged him on to keep it but he said no, it might belong to someone who really needed it. There was nothing in the flat he lived in. Nothing at all. No furniture, no carpets on the walls. It was bare. I tried to give him money but he refused. I tried to give some to his mum, who didn't speak english but she refused. In the end I persuaded him to accept a tenner. Still think of him today.

Cabbies and midwives! Mn salutes you! My daughters middle name is for the midwife who worked on after her shift to see me through my first 36 hour labour. Thank you mhairi from the queen mums in Glasgow 1995. :)

I do love this thread. I think we should all. Where we can, leave envelopes on park benches with a couple of quid & a wee note. That could be the new mumsnet thing...

Oh, how could I forget!
My Mum died when I was 17 and my Dad gave me her wedding ring. I lost it while at the swimming pool and was devastated. This was late 80's and we didnt have a landline, let alone a mobile.
In desperation I put an ad in the local paper with my friend's phone number. I'll never forget the joy when she told me someone had phoned and I was getting it back - we hugged each other and jumped around her flat.
What were the chances? I was so, so lucky and will be forever grateful to that lovely lady.

What a moving story, racingheart. Thanks for sharing.

(Though I assume you meant no carpets, nothing on the walls!)

Oh I just remembered another one!

I was about 12 or 13 and it was one of the first times I was allowed to get the bus into town with my friend. We did a bit of shopping and went to get the bus back home when I realised I'd lost my ticket. I had no money left and started panicking but the bus driver printed me a ticket, told me to write my address on it and the company would send the bill to my parents. My parents never got charged. That was about 13 years ago - amazing the little things you remember.