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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Campaign to stop retailers selling products that prematurely sexualise children - let us know what you think...

782 replies

JustineMumsnet · 05/01/2010 12:58

So quite a few folk on the MN campaigns thread mentioned that an issue they'd like to see MN get involved in is the premature sexualisation of children.

So we've put together an outline for a potential campaign, along the lines of Let girls be girls, summarising the issues and some of the research. The aim is to encourage retailers to make a simple, public pledge that commits them to selling only products which do not sexualise children.

Please do have a read and let us know your thoughts, ideas, suggestions.

Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
BellaLasagne · 03/03/2010 11:55

I totally agree with your campaign MN, well done.

WRT clothes for girls, I think we're quite fortunate in a way because my 10 year old daughter has had a growth spurt which means she no longer fits into her age-range of high street clothing, so that particular problem has self-sorted.

We found that she now fits into a ladies short/petite size 10-12 (she was in the front of the bum queue just like her mother!), so although the clothes are more expensive than childrens ranges(so we just don't buy as much) they are much more appropriate for her age and of course there is a huge variety to choose from.

Jules63 · 04/03/2010 12:00

What a fantastic campaign!

But what about music videos? Older children (eg 9+) love music, and what better way to enjoy it than watching the music channels. But have you seen the videos? The clothing and the dancing are almost pornographic. This must also affect girls' perception of what appropriate clothing is (and boys' perception of how girls should look and behave). They must think dressing and moving like porn stars is normal.

I think music videos need tackling at the same time as they must have a similar effect as the adult-style clothing...

Can we start a petition to make children's clothing more appropriate and music videos less pornographic?

Magicglassesfairy · 04/03/2010 21:27

Not quite sexualisation of children - but related.
Sainsburys are selling doctors' uniforms with a label 'boys' and nurses uniforms with a label 'girls'. I asked my 6 year old what was wrong with that and she knew so I rang Sainsburys and .......
.....they are going to change all the labels on the next shipment. (Although the nurses uniform still has a skirt so not great for boys)
Has anyone else complained about this? They sounded as though I wasn't the first.
I will keep checking though to make sure they do do it.

lorisparkle · 04/03/2010 22:57

Some of the arguments have been about 'consumer choice'. Stating that if people did not like them they would not buy them. However I really do think that the way items are sold and the choices available actually cuts down consumer choice and creates an environment where both girls and boys see themselves in stereotypical roles. The comment about the nurses and drs uniforms are a very clear example of it.

upsidedownem · 05/03/2010 20:51

How about "Take back childhood" as a campaign name? That could include boys then.

JustineMumsnet · 09/03/2010 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ponddrop · 09/03/2010 14:36

I support this campaign wholeheartedly. As a former Girl Guide leader in Canada, we had to deal with a lot of self esteem and sexual issues amongst girls who should have been playing games and just being girls.

A lot of it is media portrayal. I'm glad to see this campaign. In Canada, Dove had teamed up with Girl Guides to create a learning program for girls to see how fashion models are photoshopped, etc. Stopping the sexualisation of these girls is best; however, we need to give them the tools to make their own decisions right now as well.

Wait, I just found a link to a similar program on the Dove UK site. Not that I'm promoting this company, which I'm not. However, it does have some useful tools. Just a thought.

ahundredtimes · 09/03/2010 14:42

I understand the reservations on this thread - but here's the thing, it's good old fashioned consciousness raising isn't it? And even if there aren't direct achievable immediate results, we're raising our voices, and thinking about it. And that's REALLY important.

Personally I am ready to perform some good old-fashioned direct action on Nuts magazine et al in the newsagents.

More than ready.

Name the day. Let's go re-arrange some shelves.

As I get older, I get crankier. Last time in newsagents in train station I said, 'you know, this PISSES ME OFF. Why am I having to look at this? Get it up there, anywhere, not there, it's not okay. IT'S NOT OKAY'

Unfortunate 12 y-old behind counter, nodded, and looked stricken.

policywonk · 09/03/2010 16:46

Good for you 100x

ahundredtimes · 09/03/2010 17:02

Why, thanks PW. I do it quite a lot actually. AND I demand that people in the queue agree with me. 'Don't you think?' I say to others, who usually purse their lips and nod, or they look at the floor and hope I won't pick on them. It's my new hobby

Georgimama · 09/03/2010 20:04

Well done Gordon. David Cameron's only been banging on about this for about two years. Better late than never, eh?

aspiringrolemodel · 10/03/2010 12:00

Hello mothers. I run a blog about inner beauty and body confidence in an attempt to prove to women and most parituclarly young women that there is more to life than just being a size 10 glamour model. Just to let you know that I have featured your campaign on my blog: I totally support it. I might not be a Mum yet but growing up as an awkward teenager was hard enough for me. I don't want my future children to be peer-pressured into eating disorders and cosmetic surgeries.

My link is below: I am not selling anything!
aspiringrolemodel.wordpress.com

BigWoo · 10/03/2010 16:42

Can I just say that as a mother of a girl I firmly believe that it is OUR responsibility to resist the commercial pressure exerted on our young girls to dress "sexy" and act older than their years. Our DDs are always going to want to copy their peers, but as mothers it is our job to say "no".

Mothers who buy push-up bras and thongs for their nine year-olds are every bit as bad as the media and advertisers in wanting to affirm their child's sexual attractiveness before they even have anything to flaunt. Allowing pre-teens to have boyfriends and generally endorsing the idea that a girl's first best destiny is to be attractive to boys is the quickest way to turn her into a victim.

I think some of us are in danger of forgetting that WE are in charge and as WE mostly buy the clothes and other stuff, WE make the choices for our daughters until they are old enough and sensible enough to make good choices for themselves.

We can make our DDs take off the clown make-up and we can insist upon no bare midriffs, and then we can we explain why dressing in a provocative way is a bad idea - in an age appropriate way of course!

As mothers, we can and should control what comes into our houses and we can certainly make it known to friends and relatives that presents of sexy clothing are inappropriate gifts for our pre-teens. Inappropriate clothing that is loaned by mates can be returned to the owners. I think that some mums fall into that trap of wanting to appease their daughters because they too want to be seen as trendy (not old fuddy duddys) and be their DD's friend, therefore they often approve of certain clothes and behaviours against their better judgement.

The sexualisation of young girls in the media is annoying, as is the fetish for young models who look like they are yet to pass through puberty, but if we as the responsible consumers make wise choices, eventually the ad companies will have to change tack when they find that the current strategy of making voracious consumers of glamour model tat out of our DDs is failing.

Even pre-teen girls can be an argumentative handful and can threaten to rebel, but we're mums and our job is to be the parent who knows better and not a child's best friend.

This isn't going to be tackled simply by outlawing the things the government wants to blame for the sexualisation of little girls, or by bringing in regulation. We have to examine our own attitudes and put in place our own boundaries for our children. That also includes DSs in making sure that they are raised to respect girls who respect themselves and that girls are not there for their pleasure or abuse.

Take a stand by voting with your purse.

katiek123 · 10/03/2010 22:35

I am SO pleased about this campaign- this is one of my major, major concerns in raising my now 8-yr-old daughter in this country/society/climate. i support it all the way. I agree with BigWoo that we have to be constantly vigilant as parents, and I am as much as possible, but society MUST change.

katiek123 · 10/03/2010 22:36

ps i think 'let girls be girls' is fine as a slogan. this IS in the main about girls.

Rhubarb · 11/03/2010 10:18

Just wanting to see how this campaign is getting along. I love the slogan 'Let girls be girls', I think it is very apt.

Unfortunately BigWoo I don't think that works. The fashion industry targets young girls specifically. It's like targeting kids for sweets. We know sweets are bad for our kids, we know they rot the teeth and are full of chemicals, we know they make them hyper, but we give in to the constant mithering from our kids and we buy them as a 'treat'. This is what some mothers see these clothes as - a treat.

When I was TA for year 6 at primary there was one girl who didn't have school issue PE kit, she wore instead very very tight black racy leggings and a sparkly boob tube. When the teacher politely asked the mum if her dd could wear something more appropriate for PE her mum retorted that she wasn't having her dd looking like a bag lady.

I think if more of us confronted shops about what we saw on sale then we might just make a difference. If I saw push-up bras and thongs being sold to young children I would complain, very loudly. I would want to see the manager, I would not be led into the office and I would make my feelings very clear. I would also write to the local rag and the shop manager.

We need to be more proactive.

Which shops are still selling these things?

Rhubarb · 11/03/2010 10:20

Magicglassesfairy is a great example of how complaining does actually work.

Twinkster · 11/03/2010 10:44

Oh, good old Gordon. Still, he's right that his government hasn't stopped meddling in the upbringing of children.

I am all in favour of this campaign (esp. as the mother of a daughter). However, knowing it has GB's support is almost enough to put me off entirely.

Rhubarb · 11/03/2010 11:49

Could we have a list of retailers who stock offending items so we can all break in and destroy their stock write letters of complaint?

SmileysPeepul · 11/03/2010 12:50

I won't read this whole thread so if somoene could just make it clear at some point when it's been agreed what we should do if we support this, who to boycott, who to write to or whatever, that would be great and I'll give my support.

I only have sons, but I think the sexualisation of girls affects boys negatively too, it affects how they see interact and feel about girls, which is bad for them as well as the girls.

duchesse · 12/03/2010 11:06

OK. not entirely about premature sexualisation, but evidence that the insidious gender division starts early:

www.toysrus.ca/product/index.jsp?productId=3912974&cp=2585777.3912974

Also available as a similar product at the ELC.

WTF? So baby boys can have a whole range of colours (and opportunities to learn them), but for baby girls there is only pink? Start stripping out their educational opportunities young!

Rhubarb · 12/03/2010 12:28

But where does it say that product is only for girls? As far as I can see they are just a pile of pink stacking cups, I can't see that they are being specifically aimed at girls.

duchesse · 14/03/2010 10:19

Realistically Rhubarb, in our culture it very unlikely that people will buy all pink things for little boys. Maye when they're a bit older and request pink things, but as a baby, I wouldn't think so. Most of this pink tat will be purchased by well-meaning relatives for baby girls. I would question why there even needs to be a range of pink only toys at all.

Newnortherner · 14/03/2010 14:27

Great campaign. A few pages back someone mentioned sainsburys. As a mother of 2 girls I was horrified to see their doctors outfit labeled "boys". I complained to the shop, the following week all the dressing up stuff was together rather than the doctors set in the boys section etc (no idea if it was because of me) and I also complained to their HQ as did a friend. However the replies back say they are aware of the problem and it is the suppliers fault and they will feed it back to them.

Sorry not good enough, they should get the tags removed. My daughter can read and can't comprehend why the doctors outfit says boys. Why should I have to go through the whole conversation with a 5 year old?

GeraldineMumsnet · 18/03/2010 16:14

Hello everyone, here's an update on the response we've had from retailers so far in response to our Let Girls Be Girls campaign.

We've been in touch with most of the UK's leading retailers, asking them to commit not to stock products that play upon or emphasise children's sexuality.

Signed up so far are House of Fraser and Startrite.

We know Tesco, John Lewis, Boden, Next and Asda are all considering the letter we've sent and we're hoping to hear from them shortly.

And we're waiting im patiently for a response from lots of others, such as Mothercare, Boot, H&M, Gap, Claire's, Matelan, Shopdirect, WH Smith...

We'll keep you posted as and when we hear back from them all.

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