Campaign to stop retailers selling products that prematurely sexualise children - let us know what you think...

[JustineMumsnet]

So quite a few folk on the MN campaigns thread mentioned that an issue they'd like to see MN get involved in is the premature sexualisation of children.

So we've put together an outline for a potential campaign, along the lines of Let girls be girls, summarising the issues and some of the research. The aim is to encourage retailers to make a simple, public pledge that commits them to selling only products which do not sexualise children.

Please do have a read and let us know your thoughts, ideas, suggestions.

Thanks.
MNHQ

Absolutely YES. No to sexualisation of Children.

NO to violence too, the more a child is exposed to it, the more socially acceptable it is to imitate.

Bulger & Childs Play. The Edlington Boys and their 'diet' of violent and sexual videos etc.

Fight/combat games on bloody computer games ... This is a time bomb ticking, mark my words, if it's not controlled now, it'll have a devastating effect on our youth, and worse still their children.

I agree with this campaig but I think you have to start with a broad outline and then some quite specific targets you'd like to achieve.

You have to be careful that people dont start generalising about ALL of the social problems which affect our children as then the position becomes weakened.

It is mentioned below how video games allegedly cause violence in children but this is a different issue imo.

I DO think that parents need to take responsiblity for what their children wear, and for what they are exposed to. For most of us this isnt too difficult to achieve but sadly I also think that some parents arent bothered enough, or arent able to interpret the wider meaning/effect that some of sexual content of many products available to our young girls (and boys).

That said, however the combined efforts of parental control and widespread reduction of the availability of inappropriate images, clothes, magazines etc would have quite a big effect I think.

I would also like to see age ranges on books for children which i think ties in here. Is this being planned already ? There are girls of 8 at our school reading Twilight and Girls Under Pressure by Jacqueline Wilson. I don't think that the parents are aware of the content.

have added link to this campaign on my fb profile

I watched your comments on the news last night and was so delighted that this topic is being highlighted. I am behind you 100% and will do everything I can to support you. Keep up the good work.

While I totally support the aim of the campaign is it fair to put the blame entirely on the retailers? They wouldn't be selling these products if there was no demand for them...

Hi
I'm new to Mums-net, but would like to add something to this debate.
Has anybody else noticed that there is even now a porn channel on Freeview in the morning, channel 98 on my TV (others may be different), called TMTV, its on from early morning till 9pm, I came across it while I was installing an update and was horrified.
Now I do understand that as a parent it is our responsibility to set parental controls, pin no etc, which I have done, but is it just me or does anybody else find it totally unacceptable that this kind of stuff is available at a time when kids could easily access this. I know my 8 year old knows her way round the remote control easier than I do? Would be good to hear your thoughts on this?
Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I am very happy to live in my nice bubble without all this crap in the world. I will do all I can to protect my kids from this kind of rubbish.

Yogapammy - totally agree with you and although it's difficult to get anything banned now - at least the watershed of 9pm on the TV should be achievable. Mobile phones and the internet is a whole different ball game but you have to start somewhere.

My wishlist of things that could be achievable

Music
If you're a young musician you have to choose your target audience i.e. If you are in Lad's mags no subsequent appearance on Blue Peter.

Better TV shows for children

If your CD has one obscene song (e.g. F**k you by Lily Allen) your music will only be played after 9pm watershed even if it's not that particular song. I think that could make a difference - instead of doing things for shock value they would have to consider airplay.

Videos - again after 9pm if too raunchy or sexual even Leona Lewis looked uncomfortable in her semi-porn debut video.

Advertising
My personal bugbear Cheryl Cole Shampoo Ad with the caption - achieved using fake hair.

No advertising when airbrushing or false hair /eyelashes etc used even though they have this disclaimer.

Thanks for listening

yogapammy no i didn't know i sahll have to go block it before dd finds it, thanks fo rthe warning

I completely agree about the porn channels on television. Why on earth do we have to actively opt out of them? Surely people should have to actively opt in? In what moral universe is it assumed that everyone wants several porn channels unless we ring up to say otherwise? Grrr.

I agree this is an important issue. I think we need to think of the impacts on young boys as well though through being exposed to lots of images of partially clad women and adverts for lap dancing clubs and the like.

When I complained to the ASA regarding a billboard ad I have to drive past every day, comprising a scantily clad lady posing provocatively on all fours on a bed (for a local nightclub) I had my complaint turned down because it was not considered offensive .

I have two DS and one DD and I worry for all of them about the impacts of increasing sexualisation- what my DSs might come to consider normal and what my DD might have to put up with because "boys don't know any different". In fact I read a sex counsel column in The Times recently about brazilians and even nore extreme body waxing which basically said that the poor girl would have to comply with her boyfriends demands as that is what he'd been lead to expect by the media internet etc. Its all very sad and made me unexpectedly depressed .

I'm not so worried about clothes but my boys hang out in jeans and t shirts and football kits. Vertbaudet is quite a good option for girls I'm led to believe...

Forgot to say in my previous message, I mentioned about the channel on until 9pm, but is on from 5.30am - 9am. Not at all acceptable when kids could easily access this on freeview.

My cousin is 14 and has been on facebook. her and her little friends have been exposed to too much sexually explicit material.
I do not agree with it. Her parents found out and they are dealing with it.
My cousin sent a perfectly innocent message of a photo that had been cartoonised of her friend using facebook and three of the girls from school bullied her online calling her a whoxe and a slxt and a buxxet.
I didnt even know those words existed at that age.
Also one of her friends shops at top shop and has pinned up on her wall a kate moss phrase.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Why are we all allowing this to happen to such young and impressionable girls.
If the parents arent aware then their should be tighter rules and limits and procedures on facebook to stop children from using it.
Otherwise online bullying and influencing girls with explicit content is going to go to far and well end up with more teenage suicides like that poor pretty priests daugther on the news.

also I dont think the blame can solely be put on the parents as a lot of parents now feel they are in a minority group if they dont allow their teenage children to use face book or shop with their friends.
I think it is an issue that should be supported by schools.
Parents and schools should club together to try and limit the use of online chat and to make kids aware of female role models who are fit and well who run marathons and eat well.
Kids should be encouraged to be kids and should have sport or art or music as a fun focus instead of being encouraged to be a mini adult. Kids should see how looking great doesnt have to be wearing sexy clothing as kids should not be sexy!! looking great is looking well fit active muscly and rosie cheeked! maybe im an old fart but thats how my parents brought me up i wasnt even allowed a mobile phone untill i was 16.

It's not just clothing you need to watch out for. Have you seen some of the girls' magazines lately - be careful what you buy. 10/11 yr olds maybe interested in pop and fashion but avoid mags like Sugar and Shout which have all manner of articles and sexual advice in them. These should come with a warning of sexual content.

As for pop videos like The Black Eyed Peas Tonight's going to be a good good night,SM and lesbian imagery, and some of Lady Gaga's outfits don't leave much to the imagination in the crotch region.

Even walking in to some of the fashion clothes stores offering children's sizes, isn't safe with some playing songs with extremely rude lyrics - Rhianna's latest a milder example.

Sexualisation comes at you from all angles.

was in library yesterday and saw some primary school pupils on fb

I am also horrified that teenage girls are pressured into having Brazillian and Hollywood bikini waxes just because it is now seen as normal by boys who watch too much porn.

But I also think that the issue is more widespread in society for women as a whole. On all the TV programmes like Gok etc, women of all ages are told that the most important thing is that they must always look sexy, with fugure hugging clothes, cleavage etc. And they are even cheered and congratulated for stripping off all their clothes in front of an audience. It feels like a loss of dignity and I think is all part of the problem of how women perceive themselves.

Also, in my DS;s school the PTA is holding a fundraiser event, which will involve the children modelling clothes on a catwalk. The clothes will be provided by retailers, and they can be bought at a cheaper price, some profit going to the school. I raised the issue with the Headmistress that I do not think that this is an appropriate activity to be doing in the school, due to its emphasis on clothes, looks, modelling, commercialisation etc, but even the Headmistress did not see a problem with it and thought it would be fun for the children.

I feel pretty depressed having read so much of what's been written and knowing that everyone is so right about the extent of the sexualisation of young girls (have 2mo DD and feeling incredibly sad right now).

I think that pressure aimed at the main clothing retailers could be very effective. However I also think that positive efforts are effective - like role models taking a more feminist stance (does anyone call themsleves a feminist anymore?).
I remember being inspired by Naomi Wolf's 'The Beauty Myth' as a young woman.

How about action to empower young women and girls with a far greater degree of understanding about the imagery they see? I don't think I can protect my DD from everything that I'm offended and disturbed by, but I hope there's a way of giving her the wisdom to be strong enough to counter it with her intelligence and her desire to guard her integrity.

I know I am probably hopelessly unrealistic, but I just think we need to arm girls with self respect and cultural intelligence. I feel that really good, strong positive role models are needed - who will be brave enough to be that girl/woman?

Hi

I'm a man. A hetrosexual man. When I see women dress their daughters up and put make up on I expect they think it's all good fun - make up and clothes make them look pretty.

Here's the thing - Make-up a sexy clothes make women more sexually attractive to me and other men. Is it fair to say then that they will also make yound girls for sexually attractive to some men? Maybe not? Does anyone know or is this just another experiment?

This has to be about both genders. At my son's school an extreme form of kiss chase became popular at the age of 5. I realised it had become a problem when my son presented me with a very accurate drawing of a girls vagina. He was going to the toilet with the girls on a I'll show you mine if you show me yours basis!!The boys would grope the girls, the girls would chase the boys and pull their willies hard. Many children were uncomfortable with it but they were pushed into it by other children (mainly girls) who were watching too much sexualised television. High School Musical was often named as a culprit.

It was very disturbing for everyone and sad, because really they shouldn't have to deal with this stuff at this age. In the end I went to the Head and she had a talk with them all about appropriate touching, and after that I banned sleepovers and didn't leave him alone with the girls for any length of time. I think we need to protect our daughters and our sons in quite an old fashioned way.

What we don't realise is that we are far more sexualised than in previous generations. I walk into my local bookshop and there's a card with a male stripper surrounded by drunken women cheering, and it's displayed at my son's eye level. My son started laughing about it. I challenged the manager and she agreed with me - it simply hadn't occurred to her that it was too risque to be on the bottom shelf. But even 5 years ago that would have been considered quite shocking. At the traffic lights my son sees an ad of a woman exposing her breasts to a cctv camera. I have to have a conversation about how people shouldn't do that, or I'll have a flasher on my hands! We need to clean up our act and treat sexuality with a sense of reverence and privacy.

OMG The Saturdays fill me with horror and dread. I'm not sure what it is - we're all used to girl bands dressing like prostitutes and it's all same old/same old if they are adult bands tbh - but i think its' because they look so obviously young and fresh-faced, yet are still in really highly sexualised/pornographic clothing? they actually look like they've dressed up in their sisters/mums' clothes, i find it much more disturbing than i used to

Hmmm CM interesting post

I do think sometimes the problem is how parents see the event- for example at 5 ds3 (asd, was virtually non verbal at that stage and awaiting transfer to special school) pulled down a girls skirt in the playground as innocently as can be and parents were in asking for their daughhters to be banned from playing with him becuase apparently he was a preadtor (DS probably will never have any sexual nature, none of the adult version of DS3 that I know do).

Why couldn't parents see it for what it was rather than attribute non existent meaning to it? I quite understand he needed to be stopped but basically labelling a disabled 5 year old a sex pest? No.

Othwrwise I totally agree with the posts about how bad magazines etc have become, I don't thihnk its all new- I remember being bought More mag as a young teen, and similar- but it does seem to have multiplied hugely.

I only have sons and I can see that they too are bvecoming subject to similar pressures- ds1 has an eating disorder that we thought was resolving but came back to the fore after a friend called him (all age 10 4 stone of him) fat.

IMO it has to be a duel campaign becuase it is as important for parents of boys to teach their children that girls are more than just sex objects to be valued on the basis of how pretty they are if we want any real change. it's all very well for the daughhters to grow up stroong, indepoendent and able to separate themselves from the negative images, but if boys slowly get to a point where those girls are not ever chosen for girlfriends or [aprtners, then I think many would changeb theoir minds and find it easier to 'fit in'; I know that happened to me to an extent.

I have not had a chance to read all the posts but whole heartedly agree with the campaign. I'm a mother of just boys as well and in a way I am relieved because the pressure to have all pink with things like 'bratz' coming along and then the 'playboy' stuff filled me with dread.

My biggest problem with things generally is the division between 'boy' and 'girl'. I imagined that life would become more unisex as time went by but instead it has become very split. I wanted to buy DS2 some dolls things, a dolls house and some things for pretending to make tea etc and really struggled to find anything in the mainstream catalogues that was not pink or flowery. Similar when I wanted to buy DS1 and DS2 the same item but in a different colour my choices were either blue or pink. How about a nice red or green or yellow!

There still is a lot of stuff for boys that is 'fighting' related but we are managing to avoid that at the moment.

I am particularly disappointed with the Early Learning Centre. In the 90's they sold themselves as being different with no barbie or action man type things but life has changed.

Always think 'kids' is 'usa' ing terminology - but also agree children too many syllables.....

Agree with campaign - have 10 year old twins who have actually been questioned about not wearing crop tops at school - they are completely flat chested (as are their friends!) - fortunately they are confident enough to understand how ridiculous this is but there is certainly too much advertising pressure on this age group.