MNHQ: Help break the silence around violence against women and girls by filling out this survey

[NicolaDMumsnet]

Hello,

The police receive a domestic abuse-related call every 30 seconds but it is estimated that less than 24% of domestic abuse crime is reported to the police.

Women in Data® are working to change that reporting gap, to understand the societal, social and economic impact of such abuse and make recommendations for change.

To do so, they want to hear about the lived experienced of women over the age of 18. Share your experience by filling out their survey.

We know that Mumsnet users care deeply about the safety of women and girls, and have consistently advocated for better provision for women experiencing abuse. So please consider filling out this survey if you are able to help break the silence around violence against women and girls. Survey responses are anonymous unless you actively choose to identify yourself.

Following your comments, WID has made some adjustments to the survey including the question on gender identity, which is now optional. WID said: "By collecting both sex and gender identity, we can develop a better understanding of the influence of both of these factors and the intersection between them. This approach ensures that our data resonates with government agencies and policymakers, enhancing the potential impact of our findings."

Thanks,
MNHQ.

[Supporter77]

Absolutely brilliant this is being done. Especially in light of media headlines about celebrities at the moment

[cheezncrackers]

Nice to see a survey of this type asking women which kinds of harassment they have been subjected to in the short and long term and asking how to combat the abuse of women and girls. Thanks MN

[UsingChangeofName]

When it asks about things "experienced in your lifetime" does it mean "specifically to you" or does it mean "that you have seen / heard / know has happened to someone close to you" ? As those answers are very different.

For example, I've never been spiked, but I know that on separate occasions two of my young adult relatives have.
Same with things like racial abuse and homophobic abuse.

[Supporter77]

It is your own experience, I think it says. But do encourage others to fill it in, it’s important to show how wide spread this is

[WanderingWitches]

Done
Thanks for changing the question on gender.

[TrailingLoellia]

Fantastic! All filled out.

[UsingChangeofName]

Thanks @Supporter77 - but I don't want to minimise the figures by saying these things haven't happened, when I know they have, and do happen. Just, as a white, old female I can't honestly say many have happened to me , but I have experience of the fact they do happen, far too often (picking someone up from hospital, hearing abuse in the street, etc), which is why I posed the question really.
@MNHQ any thoughts ?
I mean, I've submitted now, but it might affect others.

[BiscuitsandPuffin]

I tried to do it but got stuck on "which constituency" because I accidentally ticked south west instead of south east and there is no "back" button and the browser back button doesn't work on this survey either.

But it would have been a useless question anyway because the times when I have experienced violence I was living elsewhere. When you consider that many women escaping serious domestic violence are moved very far from where that violence took place the extremely narrowed-down geographical reporting is actually going to produce seriously inaccurate results and as a result I am choosing not to complete this survey despite having had a relevant experience.

[Sconehenge]

Thank you for allowing me to state that I don’t have a gender identity, first time that’s happened in a survey.

[Sconehenge]

Also I couldn’t go back on any question and thought of an additional but pretty crucial “other” for safety measures which would be “avoiding a faster but more dangerous seeming route (eg not well lit short cut) for the sake of safety”. The additional questions about cost of safety measures could also have included lost time for longer safer routes taken.

[CosmicSoup]

I tentatively shuffle into this thread as a 31yr old ND male who has been abused/bullied, manipulated and ridiculed by men throughout life, and my teenage male classmates. My dad was my first male abuser, I nicknamed him "my first fear".

I am not a woman. I do not share the lived realities of women per se, but my experience is a lot closer than most men will ever come.

I am neurodivergent (Asd) I'm also small for a man at 5'6, skinny as a rake and I have very large oval eyes and extremely boyish features which brings out homophobia in men, I also have an underdeveloped voice that can't project far and mild learning difficulties. I'm also very sweet and empathetic, so I attract abusers.

The above features and characteristics led to me being bullied as a teenager. Once I got to drinking age drunk men would start on me in pubs, they'd try to goad me into a fight or belittle me just because I'm "not much of a man" or because I "look quite gay" (I kinda do tbf) and because I avoided fights and preferred to resolve things peacefully as opposed to fighting. I have a soft feminine way of relating and this triggers insecurity in bro culture circles. Men are intimidated by men who take self development seriously.

So I do understand and empathise hugely with what women go through, ok I'll admit there's little chance of me being raped as a 31yr old man, but in my twenties I was very twinky looking and sometimes got groped by old men outside pubs, they'd smack my ass or just couldn't seem to stop touching me. It was disgusting! It made me wonder if this is what women went through all the time! When I looked into their eyes I saw myself, naked and submissive, on my knees. That's the only thing men want, something that's little and cute, they get their end away and also a feeling of power. Old men saw me as a hopeful notch on the bedpost.

I'm bisexual so I do also enjoy the male body, but I'd never dream of coming out due to the homophobic attacks I read about, pretty much all commited by straight men! Not women, men! I also didn't enjoy the perverts fawning over me , though I did sleep with a couple out of loneliness and a few too many vodkas. I felt disgusted with myself. I know the feeling that women get when they feel demeaned after sleeping with an asshole, I don't slut shame women because there's time I've felt like an "ashamed slut" after sleeping with guys who just wanted my hole, but we are sexual beings and we give in sometimes!

I really really feel for women, I truly do understand their plight, I only ever associate with women these days, I'm just so disillusioned by male assholery and how "it's just banter" is used as an excuse for every abuse. I'd probably top myself if I didn't have females to talk to, I fucking hate men - unfortunately I still need their dicks sometimes 😩

[TrailingLoellia]

@Candlesburning10
Thats a terrible quandary, I’d suggest starting your own thread on this so you can get some advice. I don’t know what SS will do for your DS. I do know that recreational drugs interfere with ADHD medication so that using drugs is like an asthmatic taking up smoking; it makes his ADHD worse.

If anything, you could ask SS about sending him inpatient for addiction?

[Candlesburningbrightly10]

Can somebody please tell me how to delete my posts

[TrailingLoellia]

@Candlesburningbrightly10

Can somebody please tell me how to delete my posts

You can report your own post and ask MN to withdraw it. They will delete it with a note that it’s been withdrawn at your request.

[Hollieisla1]

I suffer with health anxiety very extremely a few weeks ago I had bright red blood when I wiped as I think I had created a fissure from over wiping / dry wiping which led to the blood since since this my health anxiety has gone awful everything was fine until I seen this blood. And since being so anxious this week I can not stop weeing soon as I go I need another one this has only triggered since I saw the blood I was wondering if anyone else gets frequent urination when they are extremely anxious?