New MN campaign around children with special needs

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Following on from this, um, lively thread from a couple of weeks back, we wanted to follow up on kungfupannda's excellent suggestion of an MNHQ-backed awareness-raising campaign aimed at - in kungfupannda's words - 'making it absolutely, uncompromisingly clear that in order to fully include children with severe disabilities, people might have to accept a bit of disruption once in a while.'

We were thinking about something along the lines of our We Believe You campaign on rape myths; that is to say, an ongoing awareness-raising project aimed at the general public, rather than a short-term campaign with specific policy requests attached. We would be thinking about pages on Mumsnet itself featuring the experiences of our posters, activity on our Bloggers Network, ye olde Twitter hashtagge, and any press coverage we can grab.

The suggestion on the thread was for the campaign to be called 'Tolerance is...', but we at MNHQ are a little unsure about the word 'tolerance' (which can suggest barely-contained irritation, rather than the kind of empathetic understanding and generosity of spirit we'd all like to see). So we were wondering whether something along the lines of 'This is my child' would work better?

Please feel free to use this thread to give us any feedback and ideas, and generally let us know what you think.

Thanks
MNHQ

Or we could list the number and requirement for tolerance of someone/a child with a disability.

'I have learned to be tolerant when you store your cleaning materials in the disabled toilet preventing access'

'I have become tolerant of teenagers laughing at me when my tics get the better of me'

'I am tolerant of always losing my break time because I don't have the communication skills to explain that I didn't understand the work I was supposed to complete during lesson time'.

I understood what you meant kungfu.

One of the hardest features of being the parent of a child with SN is the fact that, for some, their level of dependance of their parent does not lessen with chronological age.

I for one would be wary of a campaign that cuts off the over 18s.

Thanks Mumsnet for caring

How about: 'This is Really Me' or: 'This is Me (Really)'

or just: 'This is Me' - for your headline?

(Sorry if these have already been suggested - haven't had time to check!)

I am not sure I follow your logic Starlight, but I get your drift. I disagree what lies at the bottom of children AND adults having things done to them is the notion that it is the child or the adult who "needs fixed".
Medical, educational, and many other professionals including play workers do need training in inclusion disability is not a barrier in it's self. The attitude of others is the problem.

But some things CAN be fixed, or at least improved, much more easily WHEN the person with a disability is a child.

Otherwise what is the point of even 'pretending' that there is such a concept as 'early intervention'?

Why treat chronic pain? Should that simply be accepted?

Why provide/grant access to wheelchairs? Should the person simply be accepted as non-mobile?

Should an adult with SN be accepted for masturbating on the bus?

Child and Families Bill just published see here

may be a good time to launch something

I think the medical and social model of disability are not mutually exclusive.

I agree with Star we want children to be skilled to cope but we also want society to accept we are not all the same and forcing compliance and change for the sake of normalising harmless (to the child and to society) is not acceptable.

The trouble is that the social model has become peverted by the system into a philosophy which does not challenge the status quo because it is cheaper than teaching skills etc.

But the social model, embedded in international human rights documents, is incredibly important in terms of articulating equality and rights.

Yes. I want someone to accept my child does not learn the same way as the majority of others (largely they do this), but to also accept that he CAN learn, and then actually teach him (they don't really do this).

oh god the "compliance" swear word will not comply, will not conform, is challenging, disruptive behaviour upsets everyone else. sigh.

How about using the term of a salt book

"Language for Thinking" as a punch line for the campaign.

Not sure if you will know what I am getting at or implying with this title but this helps children see the world from "different" angles and perspectives.....

maybe that just might be what joe public needs to do..

I see what you are saying coff.

I agree about the compliance thing. And this is where the medical model needs to be balanced very carefully with the social model in my book.

Yes, we can teach skills, we can teach compliance but this does not always mean we should in each and every situation and with each and every skill.

Like Tony Attwood says 'be a first rate Aspie, not a second rate neurotypical'.

There is a balance.

Compliance is important for being able to teach a child, but you have to remember that blind compliance also leaves a child very vulnerable. No attempt should ever be made to 'break them' into the mould you'd like them to fit.

That's it exactly Star.

You have hit the nail on the head there star.:)

I think you always need to ask yourself 'for whose sake, are you seeking compliance?'

Is it for your own sense of mastery? Or because it makes your life easier? (Yes YOU ds' TA no.1)

Or is it truly in the child's best interest? I would expect my ds to be 100% compliant when it came to using his scooter alongside busy roads. Any dipping in this would mean a confiscated scooter. I would expect him to be about 80% compliant when it comes to reading practise.

I would expect his compliance to be variable when it comes to requests based on my mood and I would allow this. (mostly )

I like the ideas that have been put forward around "See me" not my disability. Not sure which posters put these ideas forward - but the I am... Robbie* I get an image of words relating to the disability floating about in the background such as autistic, disabled, blind, deaf etc out of focus and then the child either saying their name or holding up a sign with their name - or a short advert, child holding lots of little cards, dropping them one by one (think Bob Dylan ) all the cards would be about the disability and the last one would be the child's name).

*insert name of child

Zzzz "The sad thing is that there is little need to subdue or control a child who is engaged and included. " Well said.

I agree about it being fairly hard hitting I think. The recent MH adverts certainly madee think about how I dealt with a friend who became suddenly mentally unwell. Just a head on campaign. I don't think it needs to be soft soaped at all.

The people who deal with my son well (& we are very fortunate there are lots) are the ones who just get on with it. They just speak to him & don't ignore an issue. It's hard to put in to words, but they really do just accept and enjoy him. Maybe it's as much about respect as anything else.

I want someone to accept my child does not learn the same way as the majority of others (largely they do this), but to also accept that he CAN learn, and then actually teach him

Star you have hit the nail right on the head with this.

I want it acknowledged and accommodated for that my child is a member of society, and although may require a different method of teaching, engaging, talking to, listening to, and living with, is an equally valid member of society.

What about a slogan using this word? eg We are society too.

inappropriatelyemployed said this earlier too - we need acknowledgement that someone different is not an add-on, who must be grateful for crumbs of acceptance, but requires different support.

The more I'm thinking about it the more I would be in favour of an in-your-face campaign.

www.ditchthelabel.org/

This is worth a look, another challenging stereotype project.

I like that a lot, Kungfupanda. I think something that emphasises the, 'we are society, we are here' aspect is something that the campaign could aim for. The challenging of that simple idea, that makes people think twice when they see someone flapping or making noise in a theatre, or a child that looks too big for the buggy it is in, or when people start a thread on Aibu about why they should be allowed to use the disabled toilet or not have to fold on buses etc etc

Just came back and scanned the thread quickly - currently trying to supervise two lots of homework and an overtired poorly dd - but wanted to say that earlier I had the though that simply "We are" might be suitable?

Then I saw the posts re "we are society/we are here" and was relieved to see I was thinking along the same lines. (Struggling to keep up with the thread. )

I like the "I love football, I love riding my scooter, I am the one who was noisy in the cinema - who are you? Are you the one who ...." as it shifts focus from being all about the person with a disability onto the person reading/seeing the campaign and therefore has the potential to provoke people to think about their own actions, how they have behaved in the past and maybe stop and think about how they might do things differently in future.

Someone on MN once posted ( what i thought was) a good retort to a tutting, eyerolling member of the public

Think it was something like, 'Do keep staring, you never know, you might cure his disability. Then we can work on your manners.'

I loved that. Possibly a bit too in your face for the campaign....but the message is perfect!

...thinking about this whilst getting dd's ready for swimming, whilst ds repeatedly banged his head on the locker doors!

Also the language thing, I think that is something that mn could make a difference over, the casual use of 'retard' 'autistic' as an insult (what an eye opener that thread is) etc. I have seen so many references to The Professionally Offended on mumsnet, when someone pulls someone up on language, I would like to see that adressed.