New MN campaign around children with special needs

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Following on from this, um, lively thread from a couple of weeks back, we wanted to follow up on kungfupannda's excellent suggestion of an MNHQ-backed awareness-raising campaign aimed at - in kungfupannda's words - 'making it absolutely, uncompromisingly clear that in order to fully include children with severe disabilities, people might have to accept a bit of disruption once in a while.'

We were thinking about something along the lines of our We Believe You campaign on rape myths; that is to say, an ongoing awareness-raising project aimed at the general public, rather than a short-term campaign with specific policy requests attached. We would be thinking about pages on Mumsnet itself featuring the experiences of our posters, activity on our Bloggers Network, ye olde Twitter hashtagge, and any press coverage we can grab.

The suggestion on the thread was for the campaign to be called 'Tolerance is...', but we at MNHQ are a little unsure about the word 'tolerance' (which can suggest barely-contained irritation, rather than the kind of empathetic understanding and generosity of spirit we'd all like to see). So we were wondering whether something along the lines of 'This is my child' would work better?

Please feel free to use this thread to give us any feedback and ideas, and generally let us know what you think.

Thanks
MNHQ

No problem threesocks &

We are all coming at this from a different perspective, but we all experience the problems that this campaign is meant to help challenge.

We need to unite, not divide into sub categories of which type of disability etc.

We all feel pain.

I will walk away from this now, I don't have a "child" with sn. I have a adult with sn(well will be very soon yikes)

Whereas for me on top of what zzzzz says with the exception of a 3 year old not getting salt, here it was 7 and not getting salt

How my DS can't access much including special school, making the prognosis for him a lifetime of residential with limited access to home, parents and siblings.

How I'm doing the best to give him by myself the support he needs in order to keep him out of the situation some of the profs would of already had him^^

How I worry when I will lose him, whether that be medically or ^^

I had the impression from most of this thread that (regardless of the thread title) most people wanted a campaign to be about 'people' not just children. I certainly would. We all have dc of varying ages from tiny to (almost) adult and I'm sure those with younger dc have looked realised that a disability is usually for life!

Although generally MN is used as a parenting forum overall so the majority of topics and threads are about our children, I took the basic idea of the campaign to suggest doing something about challenging society's attitudes towards disability and disabled people not just children. Not sure why this has become such an issue.

I'm startung to find this thread very difficult. I have a 7 yo with a disability. I am well aware that he won't be 7 for ever. But at the moment he is 7 and that is my experience and all I can speak to.

Yes, the original title of this thread references children. But many, many posters have suggested it should have a wider focus, including me. This thread isn't the campaign. It's ideas about a campaign. Can't we all just post in a positive spirit?

Apologies for those who aimed comments at me and I haven't picked up on them. TBH this whole thread has my head banging, I should walk but can't. DS has been kicking off all night and is just about ready to go upstairs. Iv'e had a shit but good week even if it was alone with DS to entertain and converse with

TBF I was sick of my words being twisted by people who should understand at least some of my situ, then getting the slating. Bit if thats what support looks like its not needed.

As for my positive, DS is with me, not locked away in some institute.

I went to a sensory needs group yesterday, and got chatting to a new lady there with her DS. We were explaining to each other a bit of our 'histories'.

When she found out that my Ex (DS2 & DS3's dad) had been dxd with Autism and attended SN school, she started to cry. I was a bit taken aback until she explained that it gave her hope for the future, because she had been told by her relatives that he would never have a 'normal' life, and to realise that my Ex had had a relationship, and two DC's that he is very involved with, made her realise that her DS's diagnosis didn't mean that he would definitely never have DC's or a relationship, that he was still her DS, and he could do everyday things, with a little adjustment.

I agree that 'acceptance' or 'tolerance' aren't the right words. I don't want my DC's to be just tolerated, I want them to be TRULY included in everyday life, not just people giving lip service to inclusion.

This is me / This is my child sounds like a good idea.

I think if the disabilities needed to be included with photos, it could be a little addition at the end.

Like this :

I'm CouthyMow's Dbro. I am in my final year of Uni, studying Environmental Sciences. I like playing computer games, reading textbooks, debating and eating pizza. I enjoy spending time with my Niece and Nephews. I chat a lot on fb too. Oh, I also have Aspergers and Hypermobility Syndrome. Nearly forgot to say that...

I LOVE 'More than my disability'.

That is an awesome suggestion.

I AM more than my disability. I am a mum of 4, I love Formula One, Music, Cross stitching, card making, MN'ing and cooking. I just happen to have Epilepsy, Fibro and RA. It's only one part of me.

And now I'm off to shove my first 2 epilepsy pills of the day down my neck, along with 2 cocodamol and 2 ibuprofen. I also have to give my DS2 his nebs, and his Movivol, and give my DD her antibiotics as she has a cardio problem and needs a filling, but can't have it done without preventative AB's.

Oh, and I have to give DS3 his first dose of antihistamine, and do 4 rounds of Physio, one for DD, one for DS2, one for DS3, and one for myself.

And not forgetting that I need to help explain 10yo DS1's extension work to him, as the school just hand him a worksheet meant for Y10, with no explanations. That's HIS differentiation.

And why the Jeff does the [ hmm ] emoticon come up as a sad face on the App? I hope it comes across as a raised eyebrow on the main and mobile sites.

Mnhq - please don't get put off doing the campaign because of some heatedness on this thread. Raising awareness or tolerance or acceptance or embracingness of all disabilities can only be a good thing. Plus, in my previous career in marketing, I was always taught that drafting by committee is hopeless.

Disability awareness training is not effective as it can't cover everything, all scenarios and issues. There will always be a gap. Some of the comments on here by people who think they are aware proves that.

Well after reading all this thread I'm liking the short shape to the point
" united not divided "
Just think if it can cause us to all divide and we are all facing similar problems it's not looking good in changing ingrained opinions on people who have never been touched by disability.

MerryCouthyMows I'm in a similar position to threesocks my DS is 18 and why not do it about all ages of disabilities as it will include all our children whatever age they may be child or adult. As in the end all our children will be included that way.

How about something like this
People with disabilities ROCK! "Each are different ... expect it, respect it, and accept it!"

without sounding negative, looking like I'm turning the thread or anything else nasty used to me previously, I am just being realistic IME

DS and kids like him are already written off, they cost too much money and lack accountability. There is no respect or expectation and they certainly don't accept.

However I am now resigned to the fact that this will be the case for him and others like him, still hidden away from the world. This is why I have had to have my say. However your right, keep it in the majority. We have no place.

I've only read about half this thread, but if we're trying to get adults to change their behaviour, maybe something a bit like the campaign for behaving on London buses (cartoon people of all ages etc saying 'I wont put my feet on the seat' 'and I'll offer my seat to someone who needs it more than me' etc).

So you could have posters etc with someone saying "I don't store cleaning materials in my accessible toilet because then people who need it won't be able to get to the loo", caption Mr X, restaurant owner.
Or "Some customers last week were taking the mickey out of some children at another table, just because they were making a few unusual noises. I told the adults to leave - I'm not having nasty people like that in my cafe"
Or "My colleague has $syndrome. My aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's daughter had that but I don't assume that I know anything about it. I ask my colleague if there's anything I need to do so she can do her job and socialise with the rest of us"
Or a teacher saying "inclusion isn't just about having children in the classroom together, it's about ensuring none of them are bullied or left out, even the ones who are a bit different" (needs some stronger wording)

Or what about a bunch of people with disabilities relating some of the crap they receive from other people, and a caption "We're human. Are you?"

I like that notcitrus, the examples of what people can do everyday to make things easier for everyone.