The (normal) majority of non-raping men have a responsibility to be vigilant and to make sure that rape is absolutely not acceptable in male spheres. I don't know how we (as women) encourage the change in male spheres apart from talking to our sons?
From this excellent blog post, Meet the predators which looks at statistics that show that rape is committed by a minority of men who do it again and again because they can and do get away with it:
"I?m directing this to men who inhabit het-identified social spaces, and I?m not really limiting it more than that. Women are already doing what they can to prevent rape; brokering a peace with the fear is part of their lives that we can never fully understand. We?re the ones who are not doing our jobs.
Here?s what we need to do. We need to spot the rapists, and we need to shut down the social structures that give them a license to operate. They are in the population, among us. They have an average of six victims, women that they know, and therefore likely some women you know. They use force sometimes, but mostly they use intoxicants. They don?t accidentally end up in a room with a woman too drunk or high to consent or resist; they plan on getting there and that?s where they end up.
Listen. The women you know will tell you when the men they thought they could trust assaulted them; if and only if they know you won?t stonewall, deny, blame or judge. Let them tell you that they got drunk, and woke up with your buddy on top of them. Listen. Don?t defend that guy. That guy is more likely than not a recidivist. He has probably done it before. He will probably do it again...
To rape again and again, these men need silence. They need to know that the right combination of factors ? alcohol and sex shame, mostly ? will keep their victims quiet. Otherwise, they would be identified earlier and have a harder time finding victims. The women in your life need to be able to talk frankly about sexual assault. They need to be able to tell you, and they need to know that they can tell you, and not be stonewalled, denied, blamed or judged.
Listen. The men in your lives will tell you what they do. As long as the R word doesn?t get attached, rapists do self-report. The guy who says he sees a woman too drunk to know where she is as an opportunity is not joking. He?s telling you how he sees it. The guy who says, ?bros before hos?, is asking you to make a pact....
Change the culture.... if we are going to put a dent in the prevalence of rape, we need to change the environment that the rapist operates in. Choose not to be part of a rape-supportive environment. Rape jokes are not jokes. Woman-hating jokes are not jokes. These guys are telling you what they think. When you laugh along to get their approval, you give them yours. You tell them that the social license to operate is in force; that you?ll go along with the pact to turn your eyes away from the evidence; to make excuses for them; to assume it?s a mistake, of the first time, or a confusing situation. You?re telling them that they?re at low risk."
josephineB that's quite terrifying! no wonder the general public haven't a clue!
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