Is humour a useful tool in parenting and education?

[GabbyLoggon]

I was suprsied when a primary school teacher said in the name of dispipline you have to be careful when you smile in front of a class

Can it really be like that. Or it it an exception? I would welcome views.

well, if you smile when child a says to child b 'look - x looks like a giant pooh in that brown outfit' of course it would not be appropriate. you have to watch for consequences too - if a 'joke' or a silly piece of behaviour is appreciated too much by the teacher, the whole class can decide to play similar 'joke's or do similar 'silly' things and it's then impossible to regain control. you can't decide something is funny when x does it, but when the other 29 have a go, it becomes unfunny and a discipline problem... kids are amazingly adept at spotting even a private grin and will max out the opportunity for a clown until it has worn enormously thin...

but humour is of course fine. it's about context. lots of friends swear by allowing your students to see that you are human, but others prefer to maintain a more 'professional' front. in primary of course it would be a mistake to rule out humour and fun altogether...

This is one of the great myths trotted out in teacher education IMO- "Don't smile til Christmas' is regularly trotted out as a means to instill respect(and therefore good order) in the pupils. It is only there for people who haven't got a sense of humour.

I have always found that treating the children with respect, using humour and just generally being nice to them paired with being firm fair and consistent is far more effective.

It has always worried me that people see smiling and laughing with children as detrimental to their education.

It reinforces teacher insecurity which can only be a bad thing.

i would say it is the most useful tool in parenting. absolutely essential for everyone's sanity. hard to maintain under extreme pressure though.

Used appropriately yes.
You need to have built trust and respect to be able to use it though.
So maybe not in the first 6 months of a new teaching post...

Ditto in parenting I think.

As a secondary teacher of many years experience, I would say that humour is absolutely essential.

How can you build trust without using humour, pink?

The teachers I remember are the ones we had a bit of a laugh with - the ones who were human. And those are the ones you end up respecting and listening to - the best of the DCs' respective teachers have always been the ones who have used humour.

Can't speak for teaching, but essential in parenting - the stuff from "How to Talk" about using humour and fantasy to diffuse tantrums is something I use almost every day.

Defuse, not diffuse...though it may do that too!

Maybe it's just different strokes... I could not get by in the classroom without humour, whereas some other teachers are more comfortable without it- doesn't make either of us better teachers than one another. But to advocate never smiling is just bizarre.

Tethersend, its takes most teachers a bit of time to map out expectations and give clear boundaries and rules and then apply them consistently and fairly. I agree you can use humour to do this but its very dependent on the personality of the teacher.

Ive seen teachers take on classes and use humour too quickly, then they come across as being weak, or too sarky. Either way then the kids think they are a joke and take the piss.

This is secondary btw.

i think humour certainly has a place...

eg when DD in a 'No' mood (do you want to play? - no, Do you want to watch Cbeebies? no..) ask her 'are you going to say no??' usually gets her laughing again..

Agree with the "never smiling" thing being a load of balls tho.

pink, I'm a secondary teacher and found the opposite to be true- too many teachers are told to come in strict and then ease back, and make themselves a laughing stock as this goes against their personality.

I honestly think being nice to students works wonders. It sounds simple, but so many new teachers are given no behaviour management training and begin their career shouting and expecting the children to be awful; this quite often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remembering to be nice to them (even the ones you hate ) develops relationships and diffuses potential conflict.

Still, as you say, it's very dependent on the teacher's personality. What works for you won't work for me and vice-versa.

Me too. My opinions come from mentoring NQTs over past 10 years in a secondary school.

I agree that going in too harshly can backfire, its a balance isnt it. Kind of goes back to my point about initially being able to give the students your expectations. Agree that too much shouting shows you expect them to be/think they are awful. Im not saying that humour isnt a useful tool to get students "on side" - just think you just have to use it carefully.

Being nice to students can work wonders, my recent NQT won some challenging groups over with her "niceness"

I picked a Yr 11 pupil up earlier this year and was told to get him a Grade C in a few months, after years of him under-achieving, truanting, being a git etc etc. He was bloomin' awful at first and then admitted to another teacher that he actually quite liked me and I was a good teacher 'because she's quite funny, actually.' He is now well on target for his C!!!

Interesting answers, I am better informed now. And can write on the subject. Bless