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ID Twins - Should you Separate at School?

5 replies

WeeJen · 24/03/2010 21:40

Hello,

I'm new to this site so apologies if I am posting this in the wrong place.

I have identical twin boys who are due to start school after summer and I need to make a decision in the next few months about whether to separate them when they go in to primary one or keep them in the same class.

There are pro's and cons for both choices and I have discussed this with the pre-school teacher but ultimately the choice is mine. I just wondered if anyone else had any experience of this.

Any thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.

Thanks

OP posts:
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kathryn2804 · 24/03/2010 23:23

We've separated ours and I have to say, it's been a really good thing generally. I never thought that one was considerably more dominant than the other, but it turns out that one is and all of their friends have been made by him originally. Now Drew is making his own friends and has really come out of himself. Also, it is the first time in their lives that people have only known one of them. They are not compared at all at school, and a lot of the kids hadn't even realised they were twins until quite recently. It really takes the heat off their competitiveness. The two classes do quite a lot together so they do see each other during the day, and at play times and lunch times too of course.

I would recommend separation. It didnt' take them long to settle in and we just told them straight from the beginning that they would have separate teachers, they never thought that they would be together. I wouldn't wait until yr 1 because they will have got used to being together by hen and it would probably be more traumatic for them to be split then

WeeJen · 25/03/2010 15:01

thanks for reply. Its funny because I didn't think that one of my twins was more dominant either until the nursery teacher mentioned it at parents night! I guess they get to see a different side of things. My head says to split them its just my sentimental old heart that wants to keep them together. My worry was that they wouldn't settle but nothing ventured and all that.

thanks again

OP posts:
tkband3 · 27/03/2010 07:50

My id girls started in reception this year and are in separate classes, which is what I wanted as well as being school policy.

Even in nursery, they had their own separate 'best' friend, although they did play together quite a lot as well. But I was aware that one of the teachers in particular wasn't making much effort to distinguish between them and called both of them using both of their names IYSWIM (DT1nameDT2name).

In general it has worked well - DT1 was put in the same class as her best friend, but unfortunately DT2's best friend went to a different school, so although she knew children in her class from the nursery she missed DT1 a bit to start with. The school were great though - the reception classrooms are interconnecting and unless the classes are having circle time, the door is open and the children are generally free to move between the classrooms. Occasionally in the first few weeks, if DT2 was struggling, she would stay with DT1 for circle time. They now have their own definitive circle of friends, but also play together a lot.

The only slight issue I now have is the difference in teaching styles - both teachers are excellent, but when you have a child in both classes, you can see which is more effective. Of course when you think about it, this was always a potential by-product of separating DTs and I am just relieved that, for now, I don't have the problem of one excellent and one not-so-good teacher. That could happen - there are less effective teachers in all schools - but I suppose on the positive side, at least I'll be more aware of it, and able to compensate for any short-comings at home and/or kick up a fuss at the school .

I believe separation is more important for id twins - teachers and children can find it hard to tell my two apart and I wanted them to develop as individuals as much as possible instead of simply being seen as one half of a pair. A friend has non-id boys and it's not obvious that the boys are even brothers, let alone twins she'll be separating hers anyway, but I feel the implications of not separating them are fewer. I also didn't want my girls being constantly compared (it's hard enough not to do that as a parent )...I know that their teachers do discuss them (they discuss all the children), but there is less direct comparison made now that they are in different classes.

jackinthebump · 14/09/2010 22:07

A bit of a late response but I am an Id twin and other than our first year at school we were always in different classes all the way through to the end.

Abubu · 15/09/2010 21:29

Hi,

Have you had a look on the Tamba website? They have a checklist to help you decide whether your twins should be seperated.

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