Top tip for twins

[HerMomminess]

A darling friend has just had firstborn twin boys at 34 weeks half way accross the world. She has no family close by but a super DH. If I were closer I' d be over there helping.

So...all you mums of twins and more:what would be your top tip for her? I have a DD1 of 5 months...and can' t imagine how much work 2 would be!

top tip - get them in sync - make sure they are awake a the same time and asleep at the same time. Feed in tandem if you can, if not at least keep them on the same schedule.

And sleep when they do during the day - at least for the first few weeks. You can do this when you don't have older siblings to deal with - so make the most of it.

Not sure if it's a top tip but worked for my sister as she used to put her girls in the same cot and they settled really well. They then moved to separate cots when they were a bit older but I think they really liked the comfort of having each other close.

Keep em coming! Cheers pooka, I think she' ll have them in the same cot to start with.

Now with mine, they hated being next to each other, and they would hit each other or try to suck each others hands, etc.

It was more stress trying to get them into the same routine than letting them be.

My top tip would be follow your instincts and go with the flow, and try not to feel guilty if they cry once in a while, the house is a tip, or they havent been bathed in a couple of days, etc.

actually I agree with chops - top tip is do whatever works for you and don't feel guilty about it. Ignore disapproving looks from others - they are not dealing with twins and probably never have.

Ear Plugs

Sleep when she can as much as she can.
Try to get out most days, even tho it's a struggle.

In the early days it's just a case of muddling through it I found. I slept/ate/used the loo when I could and looking back it's mostly a lovely hazy blur. In reality dh & I were like zombies.

At night dh would pass the dts to me and resettle them in bed after feeds so I could get a bit more sleep, daytime naps were not an option as I had a toddler and pre-schooler to care for. Not having a singleton to compare the workload against might be a good thing.

Also I wish I hadn't bothered trying to sync them, one needed more sleep, one needed more feeds and I should have let them be and fed them as required. She has to find what works for her.

Cheers ladies. OMG pixi...you are a saint!!

Always the same isn' t it...go with the flow&use your instincts. I found both of those v diff with my DD but realise that was/is the way to go.

If she can join a twins club or at least dig out some other local mums of twins it will help - partly for the advice and partly just because it's nice to hang out with people who aren't thinking 'what a nightmare, twins!'

Definitely finding other twin Mummies is a Godsend! Get her to come on here if she can't find any local clubs!

The hospital told us bathing new babies once a week was enough, which was great advice for taking away all our guilt at the start when they hated baths and bathing seemed like a huge mission.

I haven't checked all the messages on this thread - am playing catch up and new to mumsnet. So someone may already have mentioned it. I found the inflatable "EZ 2 nurse twins" feeding cushion a boon, google it to find a supplier. I couldn't have continued to feed without it. Ordinary cushions sink as the feed progresses and the back ache can be so bad.

Podee bottles, if she is bottle feeding. Allows handsfree feeding of both at the same time. I found them to be the single most helpful thing, oh and a musical swing. Calms one baby whilst you are sorting out other one.

Yup I agree with the musical swing! Lifesaver.

Go with flow most of the time, but you may need to make a plan for a bit of the day for sanity's sake ie: "by 6 months my twins will have an afternoon nap in their cots so that I have a rest then"
Don't get obsessed by them looking like neat little photogenic twinnies, just dress them in easy things and cut down on washing ironing.
Try take one out by him or herself every so often - it's an eyeopener! Preferably to a cafe.
Unless someone has had twins or long exp of caring for twins themselves pay no attention to any advice from mums of singletons.

Have enough clothes so she doesn't have to wash constantly (she will still wash constantly but it helps not to run out of vests)

Any and all visitors can and should make tea, fold laundry, make a sandwhich etc.

I hated the idea of them being in a routine or having to do things at the same time as one another so I echo the advice above, but I did get them into a bedtime routine and having the same, regular bedtime from quite early on and it meant I had some time in the evening to unwind.

There is just no need to attempt anything tricky like shopping without extra help. Use internet shopping or take family/friends to help.

Hi there, Happy to report back that darling friend and family seems to be doing well. Not bf (various medical reasosn) which I think has made things a lot easier.

I followed the advice and bought them a musical swing chair . Had it couriered and arrived safely!