Can female orgasm damage unborns?!

[FirstTimeTwinsOoer]

Hi girlies.

You are probably thinking this is the most stupid thread you've ever seen! (and who could blame you ) - but I MUST finally ask...

I'm 12+2 weeks with IVF fraternal twins. (First pregnancy) This was our 2nd go at IVF.

On our first go, I lost them very early. Had the transfer Day 1, was told to abstain from sex for 5 days. Had sex on 7th day. After orgasm I felt immediate pain, continuing till morning, when I then proceeded to bleed on waking and lost them.

Needless to say, I haven't had sex the entire pregnancy so far, as so worried taking a stupid risk in first trimester... so is hubby.
Understand penetration okay, but books never cover the fem org. Is it assumed it's included or they don't exist?!
I can't take this much longer....

... there is no way I can ask my MW, mum, anyone I know by sight (on the basis I will have to see them again)... and after lurking on MN for weeks wondering what to contribute, I thought you clever people could help?

Am I losing my mind?!

You can have sex and orgasm!! It's fine, it will both/all be OK.

I'm sorry for your loss, you must be really worried, it is OK though.

Gosh I'd be worried after what you went through. Everybody always says no. But it does make your womb contract, I'm pretty sure of that. Is contract the right word? Makes the muscles tighten. In late pregnancy your bump goes incredibly hard (unless this is just me?) and so I assume that must happen in early pregnancy too except you can't feel it.

I'm sure you could google to find out what it actually does and then think if it could affect a pregnancy.

I have to say I worried about this all the way through with my first in a sort of low level way but he came out fine.

I mean, I would say, everybody always says no because of the possibility of blame, which is dreadful and not to be countenanced. But it has such a physical effect, in my experience, that I don't know, maybe? In a fragile pregnancy?

It is slightly possible that having sex/an orgasm could threaten a fragile pregnancy. But so could sneezing, or tripping over, or someone running up behind you shouting 'BOO!'. But there are no absolute guarantees with any pregnancy, and even if you did have a MC shortly after sex, it wasn't necessarily the sex that caused it, it might just have been not going to work out anyway.
Honestly, if you lost the last one at 7 days, it was almost certainly simply not a viable pregnancy for any number of reasons. Now you are past 12 weeks it has, statistically, a much better chance of working out OK so try to think positive and not beat yourself up.

Thanks soo much for your replies Ladies... and for not laughing!

SGB - you prob right about losing the first. It was so early, but I regret sharing my thoughts with DH, as he's a panic merchant so will prob need a doctor's letter or something to chill him out...

I've had a few twinges last few days so might leave it a week or so.

I'll assume you won't want an update on how it goes!

In my last pregnancy I had problems with my amniotic fluid leaking. I read that because an orgasm causes the womb to contract it can lead to a further loss of fluid. I think this would be more relevant further on in pregnancy.

gosh, in my twin pg last year, I'd say I tested this pretty thoroughly and they turned out ok . But can understand why you're worried for the early weeks.

I was fine last time, and this too. Plus I had a REALLY bad cough both pregnancies early on.

I'm sure it must have been just a coincidence the first time, but I can understand your anguish!

Oh my! BIG congratulations!

Is it possible your loss wasn;t caued by your orgasm? Have you discussed with with docs t all?

Chances are, like many things, the bugger the babas get the less fragile they are?