Twins (15wks) crying all the time when awake. How do I cope?

[Ewemoo]

My dts have never been 'easy' but I've had enough now tbh. If they are not asleep they're screaming (even after feeds) and aren't even happy when held or sang to, rocked etc. After already having had a 'difficult' baby with my dd1 I thought I might be spared this nightmare again. Why are they so bad? I have changed their formula 3 times and dr refuses to acknowledge how bad they are so is no help. Any advice/tips for how to get through this would be greatly appreciated.

Ewemoo, I just had to post on here. Your story sounds exactly like mine was. My 16 week old twins have since been diagnosed as Lactose intolerant and are on prescription milk called nutramigen. Its made the world of difference. I now have happy babies, who sleep for naps, go through the night, are no longer vomiting and love to play when they are awake.

For weeks I had been crying out for the doctors and the health visitor to listen to me but I was told there was nothing wrong. It was only when the twins were admitted to hospital for a severe virus that a consultant listened to what I had to say and diagnosed them as lactose intolerant. Please don't suffer, go to your GP and demand that they try your babies on this milk. I'm not saying that this is the answer for you as I'm not a doctor by any means but your story just sounds so familiar to mine. Good luck.

No posts yesterday, I hope things are improving for you.

Just catching up. I think you are in the same state as me. Any better at all? Do you think talking on phone would help your nerves a bit?

It wasn't a totally horrendous day yesterday - seeing as we took them for jabs it could have been worse. I have bought aptamil easy digest to try next. If I'm totally honest I don't think it's the formula I'm just clutching at straws. I just think they're very frustrated babies who whinge a hell of a lot. This makes it worse as there's no 'miracle cure'. We have also tried infant gaviscon which also had no effect. Same with infacol, dentinox, colief. You name it we've tried it! I have wondered about asking for a paeds referral but how could they diagnose anything if the babies are putting on weight and seem well, etc? How do you know if they are intolerant to cows milk for example?
Anjlix - what's your situation? Maybe we can support each other?

Mine were stacking on the weight, twice they gained a pound in a week. Even so they are intolerant. Their belly buttons were sticking out, they had swollen bellies, terrible wind that stunk to high heaven and green/almost black poo. I also tried Aptamil easy digest, colief, infacol etc. The only think that has turned it all around for my boys is the lactose free milk.

You just sound so resigned to it now, ewemoo, which is even worse in a way . Getting through it rather than enjoying them which must be nigh on impossible for you. I know that some babies are 'difficult', but I find it really hard to believe that there's nothing wrong with babies who scream all day after the 1st 6 weeks. Maybe that's just my own hopefulness on your behalf. Do get a paeds referral, it will do no harm even if you're told there's nothing to be done and there might be something there.

BTW, Gaviscon (for reflux) is the lowest drug available though, it's very milk and much stronger drugs are available and will make more of a difference if that's the problem.

Anyone know how Ewemoo can go about getting a paeds referral? Is it possible to self refer? Ewemoo, I think from your previous posts that your current GP sounds not particularly sympathetic so could you request to see another GP at your practice. I know how hard it is dragging twins to the dr's but a second opinion might help? I agree with accessorizequeen that constant crying at this age seems very unusual. Take care and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you. Please keep on letting us know where you are and if you want to chat feel free to email me weston dot jenni at googlemail dot com.

I am not sure if a HV can do one, don't think so but worth asking Ewemoo?

Go to Dr and jump up and down until the idiot listens, these are your babies and you know them best. If that doesn't work try the out of hours Dr, I have often found them to be much more helpful thatn my own GP.

Can your family come and help for a bit, I get my mum to come up every couple of weeks. She gets to be with grandchildren, I get some company and a bit of a break.

Sorry to hear non of the remedies have worked for you, the frustration must be intense. I know how much relief I felt when the infacol worked on mine so I'm really disapointed it didn't work for you.

Infacol or time worked for me. To this day I am not sure which one. Mine were prems and were never happy in the first 6-10 weeks. They had terrible gas related pain all the time. When they were at 10 weeks or so I started implementing a routine. It was nothing rigid just a guideline. For e.g.

If they woke up at 7.30a and fed well then I know they will need a nap by 9a. I would start winding them down 15mins earlier. If they woke up at 7a then I would move the nap to 8.30a and so on. Often the cycle of poor quality of sleep with babies can build up crankiness through the day. Also another thing that helped with evenings was bath routine at the same time no matter what. Being in warm water calms them down and makes them tired. HV suggested taking them out everyday before bath as light in the eyes makes babies tired enough to go to bed. If they were too hungry to survive bath I would give them half feed to sustain till the end of bath/massage. The whole thing is exhausting but I think after another 4 weeks or so they got significantly happier.

I watched for them being over tired like a hawk and put them down in the cot for nap before they got too whiny. Also kept a diary (still do) of feed/nap times. This way I can get rid of hunger/sleep as the possible issues. Mostly they get quite cranky when they are unwell/over-tired/teething etc.

Lastly if you seriously suspect something wrong then trust your instinct and yell till they hear you.

Ewemoo, I really empathise. I had one very screamy dt1. If it helps she is now a complete joy to me and the happiest loving girl around (except maybe when she took dt2s dirty nappy off tonight in their bedroom but that's another story). It will get easier but it's hard to see the light when you're stuck in the midst of it. Especially if you're coping alone as I was since my husband had a long commute.

Anyway at about 8wks I finally discovered she was suffering from reflux. She aspirated on her feed and ended up in hospital on a drip for a few days. No body mentioned she might get better if she went dairy free, so when she came home we started mixing gaviscon in her feeds and gave her a dummy. The sucking seemed to soothe her pain (she was the only one of my 5 dcs to have a dummy). After a few weeks we noticed the gaviscon started to ease her symptoms a little, as did her being more mobile. She couldn't tolerate anything tight on her tummy so trousers and tights were out and babysuits were the norm till about a year old.

I too found nothing seemed to help in those early days, she wasn't comforted in anyway and I felt crap. Crap if I was comforting her and leaving dt2 to cry, or crap for seeing to dt2 and leaving her to. Time must be a great healer as when I was expecting again I seemed to think another set of dts would be great!

Anyway I've waffled on, but just wanted you to know you are not alone. There is a long running multiples thread here where you'll get tea and sympathy so do come over and join us, we're all very friendly.

I would definately try dairy free for a little while and see what difference it makes. A friend of mine had twins who went through this. They were like changed children and she got her life back. After a year or so, they developed a tolerance to dairy (or lost their intolerance - however it works!) and now they can eat everything and anything.

Twins is ridiculously hard anyway, and as others have said, there is constant guilt about ignoring one of them for the sake of the other, etc. I had to be so different with them than I was with my other single children.

Just wait till you get to the toddler stage tho - it makes it all worth it! I think I just gritted my teeth for the first nine months (not everyone's experience I know) but when they start interacting with each other and discovering the world, you will feel so honoured and blessed to have twins.

I can say that now because mine are now old enough to be at school - YESSSS!

How's it going today? Things ok?

Just thought I'd come on here and update:- the dts are still driving me mad and just coinciding with their 4 mth b'day decided to up the crying and screaming and try and turn mummy into a nervous wreck! They are quite literally impossible and the only thing keeping me sane is that they are pretty good in the night. They are now back on SMA Gold, whether this has made them even grumpier who knows?? My mil keeps saying start them on solids but they are only 17 weeks. I have upped the milk to 7ozs but they are still quite sick and I'm not sure whether this means don't up the milk or what. If I waited for them not to be sick after a feed they'd never make it on to solids at all. Anyone out there give me any advice on weaning especially if you've had a sicky baby.

just been reading your post and just wanted to say that i really feel for you its so hard with twins and the exhustion you feel is awful sometimes and really and truly nobody can understand unless you are a twin mum i have 8 month boy/girl twins and i found as others have said that a routine does help cant really help re the sickyness but there must be something wrong as you said if they are fed winded and changed should eliminate most of the causes. hope you can get a second opinion and a more supportive gp. if you want to have a chat anytime just let me know i am far from my family and mostly alone with mine and some adult company and some help make everything seen better.

just had to post here. My twins are 10 months and only in the last month have I been able to resolve all of their problems... since birth they were really sicky and like you ewemoo i had changed their formula so many times. I used Hipp Organic, Cow and gate, SMA LF and nothing seemed to releive their symptoms which were screaming, bringing their knees up, unbelievable wind which went on day and night.. this was the worst problem. Both babies would go down ok and wake an hour or so later screaming in agony to be picked up to burp. I also have a 2 year old and on my worst night had 3 hrs sleep with the worst baby waking every 2 hrs in pain. It was just impossible. I had been back and for to my GP for various other things aswell and one time just told him the baby wasn't right but got told to work through it..no solution. Finally after near collapse and making a desperate call to a friend who put me in touch with a friend, I got myself a private appointment with a gastro paed who diagnosed reflux. He put them onto Nutramigen milk and prescribed meds which have turned the babies around. They are happy, playing, sleeping, and drinking their milk without pulling off and not going back onto the bottle again. Reflux is the acid coming back up and burning causing bad pain and alot of crying. Weaning for me made no difference and they are big chunky babies so I kept getting told there was nothing wrong with them as they were big and healthy... PLease get help and insist to your gp that you know there is something up. reflux gets ignored far too often, silent reflx is the worst as they dont necesarily have to be sick too, its just the acid that causes so much problems. Dont wait around like me for them to grow out of it as that could be months and months away...having twins and a toddler is tough enough without having two babies crying all the time. If you think this could apply to you and If you want more info on how to go privately or the type of meds we are on then let me know. Good luckxxx

Ewemoo, I had one twin the way you describe,non stop screamer. I did wean her much earlier than would be recommended today, at 17 weeks. The babyrice type food stopped the acid coming up so much, and she certainly was much more settled after that. Although it may have been coincidence, or hunger, who knows. I think she was also desperate to go to sleep more than I comprehended, and couldn't tune out sufficiently to get the sleep she needed.

Looking back, (but it was 7 years so don't quote me)I think what helped was just to spend as much time cuddling and talking to them as possible, and try and get away from the idea that they were a problem that could be solved, by routines or efficiency (although of course routines were helpful too). After all, they are babies who just yearned for attention in the same way as a singleton would. It's difficult to remember that with twins, because it just doesn't seem possible to give the attention, ergo they don't need it.
What really helped me was to get a friend or relation to take one baby out occasionally so that I had time to respond to just one baby at a time and make friends with it. That was really a lifesaver. No-one would look after twins anyway! But they were prepared to borrow one. Sometimes my dh would take one down to breakfast as well, so that I was just in earshot of one first thing.
The result of this WAS that the house was a mess, everything was all over the place, and I was exhausted, but at least I felt that I got to know the babies individually when they weren't screaming.