OMG Expecting twins and have a 8 month old baby

[Panicatthedisco]

Hello all MNers, I've been obsessively reading the multiple births thread in secret from the wings since I found out yesterday that I'm expecting twins. I'm only 7 weeks, but had an early scan due to having no idea about dates as my periods never returned after having my son. My husband's sperm is obviously like superglue and I will be sending him for the snip sharpish as soon as these two are out.

So, I would just like to say that I'm PETRIFIED at the thought of coping with twins and a 16month old boy who at 8 months is already crazily busy. I breastfed him exclusively for 6 months, but just can't see how I'll have time/energy to BF twins at all. DS is just about sleeping through now (8pm - 6am)and I'm so scared about the sleep deprivation thing. Oh shit. Also afriad that DS1 will feel left out. ALSO afraid that one day I'll turn around after a haze of extreme tiredness and business and see that DS1 is 5 and I'll have missed it all because I was so busy. That thought is making me cry a lot at the moment. ALSO, my husband works away from home a lot, and he'll have to go away for quite a long time when twins will be 3 months. Aaaaaargh.

In any case, I won't ramble anymore, just writing this makes me feel that I'm not alone in this crazy amazing world of babies.

Thanks for reading. Any advice gratefully received, eventhough I've already read a load of fab posts. Panic.

Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of twins. I have almost six week old twin boys, plus a 3 year old and a five year old, so I can sympathise with your panic.

Although I am new to this multiples business so far I have found it to be not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. My twins are great sleepers, eat well (bottle fed though) and are super cute on top of that, so don't worry too much - twins aren't always the nightmare people sell them as.

It is true that DS1 won't get as much attention, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. My second son was born when my eldest wasn't even two and therefore both had to deal with mummy's very much divided attention, with the result that they are the closest of friends and also able to entertain each other.

Congratulations on your great news and fingers crossed you will just have more beautiful babies to enjoy. It will be hard work, but well worth it in my opinion.

Perhaps some more experienced twin mums can offer more advice, but I just want to say that I am loving having twins, despite being scared s**tless when I found out I was having two!

Hi there.

My son was 14 months old when my twins were born. And I also have a daughter who was a month away from her 4th birthday at the time, so I really do understand your panic.

To be perfectly honest it was really really tough at first, but you soon find ways to do things and to make sure everyone gets what they need. My first two kids didn't feel left out at all, I made sure I included them as much as possible, and always answered them when they wanted me BEFORE I attended to the twins. I used to say "twins, stop shouting, you have to wait your turn, I'm talking to Sophia etc" and they LOVED that.

My other half works away a lot too and to be honest it's often more organised without him. I miss the support and just someone coming in at 6 o'clock, but I keep tidier, stick to my routines etc and it all works out fine.

Now my twins are less than a month from their first birthday, my son has just gone 2 and myy daughter will be 5 in May. It's been a CRAZY year, but I look at them all every day and think how lucky I am to have them all. You have too chill out about mess and noise, and everyone (even the babies) has to learn to wait. Most people I know are appalled at the thought of doing what I do every day, it's like a creche in here, but I have four happy, healthy children, and I'm doing my best to enjoy them. They grow up way too fast.

You WILL get tired, to be honest it's still the thing I find hardest of all. But I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck. x

Some Mums find it easier to breastfeed than bottle feed, when they've got a toddler too, esp once it's established, because you don't have all the sterilising etc, but others don't. I would give it a try and see how you get on. Definitely need to get tandem feeding sorted early if you're going to do it as this then takes half the time. Any breastmilk they get is better than nothing

congrats.

xxx

no words of wisdom, but congratulations It will be hard (twins on their own were hard enough for me!) but you'll get through it and twins are fab

twins are fantastic - so are my singletons - it is hard - but I found dts easier than ds1!!!

Mine are two next week and I have a 5 year old and ds3 is 8 weeks - life is hectic and you will manage

congratulations

Thank you all so much for the encouragement! MN is amazing - I write about how I'm experiencing feelings of sheer terror, and my fears are quieted by lovely experienced twin mothers. Fab.

All mothers of several children - hats off to you!! How on earth did you manage to maneouvre the brood out and about? I just can't work out how we're going to go out for a 'stroll' in the pram with 2 babies and a 16 month old who will probably not be walking very far, especially when DH is away and I'll be flying solo. How did you do it please?!! Is there some sort of pram contraption that can fit 3, is pushable, and you don't have to go in a straight line?

Thank you again lovely people!

Hiya panicatthedisco,
Congratulations, you'll get through it because you have to and because once you get yourself into a routine it'll get easier by the day.

I did it the other way around and had ds3 16mths after my dts. In the early days I got around with double buggy (jane powertwin) and sling which is much easier than a buggy for 3. You could also get away with a Phil & Ted for your ds1 and one dt and carry the other in a sling (this would be my personal preference).

My dts are now almost 2.3 and baby approaching his 1st birthday. I also have dd1 4.6 and ds1 6.1 . My husband works away through the week and has done for over a year now, he commutes home at weekends. I find I'm much more organised when he's not around, but life isn't quite so shiny.

I try to make time every day with each of the dcs, whether it be to read them a separate story or individual dance (dds are obsessed with dancing to sleeping beauty and I have to be the prince) or whatever it may be, I try not to beat myself up on the days it doesn't happen for them all. Your dt1 is so young, he won't remember your tough days and of course there will be some, but he'll welcome his new playmates.

I bf my dts for first few months, well about 7wks and I found it fairly easy to juggle them and the other dcs, I gave up when dt1 was hospitalised with her reflux, ds3 is currently still feeding and I never found it too hard to entertain the dts while feeding him in the early days.

Do pop in to the multiples ongoing thread this thread, we're all a friendly bunch and love welcoming in newbies. The ladies on there have all age dts and loads of advice.

oh but how lovely, they'll all be so close for playing. you'll get a system in place, i'm sure.

Congratulations Panic!

I am expecting twins too but my DS is 9 which makes my worry and panic seem small compared to having a young toddler and twins

On the pram front this thread has some ideas

annabella73 you wrote a really nice post. I agree - if your husband isn't around alot it's v easy to keep to routines. I have strict feeding routines with twins (4 mths) and son (2 yrs old). My twins started sleeping 6pm til 7am when they were 15 wks old and even though it can be busy, it's really not busy all the time.
I take mine out in a twin mountain buggy. When the babies were little I squished them in one side and my son in the other. Now the babies go in the pushchair and my son perches on the front foot bar which he finds quite comfy and will sit on for ages. I keep a sling underneath to carry a baby in case son gets tired and wants to lie down in puschair.
The other thing we have done even though we can't really afford it is get a cleaner once a week. it keeps my morale up which can't be underestimated.
Twins are awesome. It's nowhere near as hard as everyone makes out and it's really, really lovely having children who are all so close in age

Hi panic! Congratulations, I second the girls, its hard, hard work but its very, very very special. You get to experience things that you can never imagine with a singleton. I had my twins when my DD1 was 3 so I'm not much use on your age gap but on our daily chat thread we have a few mums of triplets who might be helpful to talk to.

I had my twins when my DP worked away all week and so I felt really tired trying to spin all the plates. But I did work out a routine and I did get some help from my mum. Sometimes just even having a little while when she would take one baby out made a huge difference.

I managed with a double buggy and a sling. My DD1 and the heavier twin were in the buggy and the lighter twin tended to be in the sling. We managed like that for ages. You might manage that for a bit and then maybe a double buggy and buggy board?

First things first, try to just get your head around it and not worry too much at this stage. Your body is going to be busy so take lots of care of yourself, good food and exercise to stay physically strong. If you can then swim as much as possible as it will both strengthen your back and your tummy muscles and feel relaxing to float on your back when you get bigger.

Make simple lists of what extras you might need. I found I didn't need two of everything.....one play gym was fine, one bouncy chair, one electric swing, one bouncy thing that hung off the door....and then I just rotated the babies into different things. You will likely need two cots but maybe not at first if they sleep well together. (Mine shared a moses basket for the first while, it was incredibly gorgeous watching that, I remember them.... one wrapped around the other from behind, her hand protectively on his cheek, gorgeous moments like that!!!!)

There are lots of us on the "D'y ever wonder...." thread. We talk a lot of rubbish most of the time (I think its called Twin Brain )until someone has a problem and then we will pool our knowledge and help as much as possible. Use us!

Don't be scared. Its daunting and it will be hard work but one day you will watch them all running across a beach with wind whipping their ice creams and you will know that its very, very special to be a part of xxxxxx.

hi there congrats you are so lucky to be expecting twins and you will have 3 kids who will be the best of friends remember you have had one already so you will feel more confident anyway and you will manage i have 6 month old boy/girl bottlefed and love having twins and you will too lots of luck

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for the great messages. I feel so much better already. It's still only early days, and now that I'm starting to get my head around things I'm really scared now that something will go wrong. No use worrying like that though.

Thank you all for the positive vibes, and FG - I know you're right about the exercise. Damn it, I was just convincing myself that the right way forward is to sit on my ar*e eating crispy beef from the Chinese takeaway. I managed to get back into reasonable shape after DS, but I don't think your abs are ever what they were pre pregnancy. I SHALL get down the pool...

I will be keeping a close eye on the D'y ever thread, and picking up tips. I'll keep you posted on how things progress here. Got a dating scan on the 15th April, so fingers crossed I'll be seeing 2 slightly bigger little beans.

Thanks ladies. Panic. XXXX

awwww huge congrats on the twins

ds1 was 2 months off his 3rd b'day when dd/ds2 were born so i cant help with the age thing but u will cope lets face it u have no other option

my hubs is in the armed forces so he went away when they were 2 weeks old i just got on with it tbh and sorted out a routine which worked for me

were all here for a shoulder to cry on support when u need it im sure between the lot of us we can help

having twins is very special i cant believe my little bubbas are 4 in the summer & starting big school bless them