Those of you with dts and older dc - how do you cope with housework?

[Ewemoo]

My dts are 10 weeks old today and I also have a 4yo dd. Obviously dd1 is at school full-time (thank the lord)so isn't around during the day but I find my dts so demanding I find it impossible to get on and get the housework done. I think I've done well if I've managed to get dd1 to school, wash up, make bottles, put one load of washing on and get myself something to eat. Am I being lazy or is this normal life with dts at this stage? They are very unsettled and usually one or other is crying and needs comforting. I use the sling when I can but find it gives me backache. Any tips from experienced twin mums who can let me know how they coped in the early months? Also, dd1 when at home is so messy and her toys end up strewn all round the house. She will only tidy up when she's in the mood otherwise it's tantrum time.

I have twins 15wks and toddler 2.5 who is home all the time - absolutely impossible to get anything done. Get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, ignore the mess as best you can, and if you have lovely husband get him to cook some meals when he has a chance to stick in the freezer so easy to do evening meal - or survive on fish fingers and oven chips. I find I just try to survive if I achieve anything more than that I feel very proud of myself and have two chocolate bars instead of one!

I have 13 week twins, and a 4 year old who is only at preschool nursery - therefore, what's housework??

People keep coming down to the house so I can get on with stuff and we just end up sitting in a messy living room playing with the kids!

Do you have the Homestart service in your area? I've got 5 week old twins and a two year old and Homestart has been recommended by my health visitor. They can help out for a few hours a week, either doing housework for you, or looking after your children so you can get on with things. Might be worth asking your health visitor or clinic for any info.

I don't do housework, it was invented by the devil to waste precious playtime! But if it really bothers you you can have my MIL cause I'm sick of her coming to my house and mentioning the fact I don't appear to have done any recently.

I have 12wk old DT's and a 21month old. The older DD like to sweep the kitchen floor which I'm encouraging.

Hi Ewemoo
You are NOT being lazy, and it is just the norm with dt's at this stage. It will get a lot better, they will start to be a lot less unsettled as with any newborns as they get older.

I've got ds1 (5) and ds2 (2) in addition to the dt's who are 5 months. I have a nanny 2 and a half days a week so she either does a bit or looks after the dt's whilst I do some housework. I also have a homestart volunteer and she's great, I mopped the floors whilst she took the dt's for a walk last week, not sure when they'll get moppped this week as I have spd and can't bend at the moment.

What I do find is that we do things in 5-10 min spurts rather than try to get an hour free for housework. DP might vac once all 4 dc's upstairs for bathtime, either of us clean the bathroom in the evening etc. When you feel a bit more energetic you could try a star chart for dd1 to reward picking up toys etc which is working well for ds1 but certainly wouldn't in the early days whilst we were all getting used to new arrivals etc. I limit my expectations to clean dishes/meals/clean clothes - all of which you're managing!

wise words from accessorizequeen. if we are fed, clothed and (relatively) clean i am happy. i have help from homestart too and from parents so am lucky but dh works v long hours. i try and cook enough for 2 or more meals (just cook a huge pot!) when i cook. other times it is oven chips and chicken kievs and peas . my house is a real tip. i have a cleaner for 2 hours, but poor girl can't really clean...she does floors,. bathroom and cooker really, but keeps on top of that stuff. as we speak i have 2 spare beds covered in washing not put away!! we don't iron anything. ds1 is at playschool in mornings and babies tend to sleep in am too, which is great...just grab small opportunites - and then think shall I MN or fold clothes?

ah, here you are MM, just emailed you!

oooh, am gonna go and check.

Mine are now 10, 13 and 14.
When youngest was born (all 3 under 4) I used to do a room a day.
By the end of the week I'd done the main rooms, ready to start all over again!

I think I'm doing that now, Goober Seems like it never ends but then I roughly get round to the important bits every week. Except for mopping the floors but mainly cos the amount of cr*p that's all over them!
Another thing I do which seems fairly efficient is to take all the clothes out of the dryer and fold them right then, then stick the entire basket on my bed. After all dc's in bed I usually sort through 3-4 loads of washing in 15 mins and then 'deliver' it to their rooms to be put away in the morning whilst the babies are (theoretically) cooing in their cot and older boys racing round (theoretically) getting dressed for school/nursery. Although it does go awry occasionally - dp couldn't go to bed Fri night as there were so many mounds of washing on his side!

No twins here but mine are now almost 4, 2.5 and 10mths. So I nearly had 3 under 3 when dd2 was born.

We are in Scotland so I still have 18 months until ds starts school and until then I will have them all at home other than 2 hours of pre-school nursery a day.

I do the bare minimum. I do the basics- washing, cooking, shopping and lots of tidying. I have learnt to be very efficient.

However, the floors get mopped about once a month, maybe less. The beds get changed when absolutely necessary. The bathrooms get done once a week, sometimes twice.

It gets a lot easier when they start sleeping through and you are not so sleep deprived and when they can go and play!

Twins almost two years old. House a tip. I've been reading a nice Buddhist book telling me to "relax into the chaos" which makes me laugh ruefully. The mess does get me down, it really really does. And I think I am quite lazy when it comes to housework. But

A) I'm knackered (I'm a SAHM with no family nearby and not a lot of money for outtings)

and

B) The twins are a two-man demolition team; whatever tidying I do, they undo with ruthless efficiency.

I'm told this stage passes..........

Mina. I think it passes when they hit about 19! Mine is 3 and half and it is worse than ever.

Lol, yes and when they're 19 I'll be on here tearing my (grey) hairs out..There was a nice thread the other day about the havoc that toddlers cause; it made me laugh reading about other peoples' travails but somehow I lose my sense of humour when it's me.

Ewemoo, as to the question "How did you cope in the early days?" I simply don't know! Do investigate Homestart though - it doesn't operate in my area but friends who have benefitted say it's great.

Yeah, I think the key here is do as little as possible as efficiently as possible. And I have taken lessons from the 'flying' ladies e.g. never leave a room without something, I don't leave the house without the dishwasher or washing machine running. After a little bit I start spotting opportunities to get a bit done here and there - friend popped over last week, so I went the loo and hung up a load of washing upstairs whilst I was at it

MM, thanks for mail, lovely to hear from you, going to have my tea now & mail you tomorrow!

Twins at 14 weeks. I have a cleaner come once a week. All grocery shopping done at tesco.com for £4 delivery charge. Dh picks up other stuff after work if I missed anything in the order. I hired mother's help to help with everything else during the day.
Cooking is really not cooking but assembling food. Or bake a potato, heat some soup etc. Very basic.

I got a cleaner when I was pregnant with the DTs and too sick to move. I've kept her. The DTs are now 5. As the children get older I get them to help more and more but I'm keeping my cleaner. I think I'd rather sell the DTs than lose her lol!

if you can afford it get a cleaner if not - fuck it its not the end of the world - seriously not being glib hee - it can get you down in a big way so arse to it.

I think my standards def dropped at the time, though I didn't really notcie it. I spend lot more time cleaning now they are getting older. Homestart is def a good idea.

I found eventually the ebst thing to do was to have as little around as possible that could get messed up. You jsut eventually find ways around things. I had the toys locked away and one box otu at a time, then that had to be cleared away before they were allowed more out. Had to be clear before they ate dinner.

Beign out of the house more means less mess too! I wasn't home much during the day in the first year. A lot of the bigger housework got done at the weekends when dp was home and we could take it in turns to see to the dts.

I did whast I could like prepping bottles and making sarnies while dp was at home, either in the morning or the night before.