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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

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Original poster

Feeling totally overwhelmed

11 replies

magnummum · 19/02/2009 13:53

Hi ladies - sorry to whinge but feeling very down. 25 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and have dd 2.5. Am very excited about the babies but this week feel totally overwhelmed, dd who is usually a pleasure to be with is really playing up and I feel that what should be a really nice time as it's the last bit of time we'll have together before the babies arrive is just getting fraught which makes me sad. Not sleeping well (me not her!) so guess this isn't helping. I'm feeling more and more like an awful mum and wonder how on earth I and she will cope with another 2 and that I won't have time for any of them and that instead of the nice mummy she's been used to they're all going to get some stressed out frazzled witch instead. DH is away a lot so always "fun daddy" and puts all this down to hormones and tiredness. Think maybe a night away from all the lists/baby stuff etc might be the answer...

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1stMrsF · 19/02/2009 17:00

magnummum!

I find it incredibly hard just being PG and not worrying about anyone but myself. So I just don't know how you do it with DD as well as PG with twins and especially with DH away - you do have a lot on your plate you know, every reason to feel overwhelmed.

Probably 'Fun Daddy' is right of course, but that's no fun for you is it? (bad enough being tired and hormonal, without them being right all the time as well) Of course, here, we understand.

Hope the internet equivalent of 'saying it out loud' is helping a bit. Hang in there for maternity leave - taking one demand out of the equation should help a bit too.

Original poster

magnummum · 19/02/2009 17:40

Thanks FirstMrsF and only one day for you now First day of maternity leave I'm set for lying on the sofa with my box set of Magnum dvds (yup secret's out my nickname stems from a Tom Selleck crush not the ice cream

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Frangipani74 · 19/02/2009 20:47

Hi Magnummum, it is tough being pregnant with twins and having a toddler, my little boy was 2yrs 5months when my twins arrived. The last few months of the pregnancy were hard you get bigger and bigger and feel less and less able to do stuff with them. We got into doing a lot of jigsaw puzzles together, reading books, and building lego. It could be that your daughter is just getting to that stage where she's testing boundaries anyway -terrible twos! Are there any nice but not so physical activities that you and her can do together?

Bmum1 · 20/02/2009 08:48

Oh love, I know just how you feel. I just had my twins - born 9 Feb, so 11 days old now - but I have two other sons aged 3 and 5 and they were really bored with me by the end of my pregnancy as I was pretty immobile towards the end. They kept playing up and whinging that they wanted their mummy back, so you aren't alone - and you aren't a bad mum, just a pregnant one. The boys are happier now that the twins are finally out, though still adjusting to sharing mummy. They love their new baby brothers so much though, that it seems to make up for me still being pretty incapacitated thanks to recovering from c-section.

accessorizequeen · 22/02/2009 21:57

Hi mm, I had exactly the same issues when pg with my dt's who are five months this week. DS1 is 5, ds2 is 2. And like the others I found pregnancy really hard as I could do so little with them esp ds2. It all gets a lot lot better once they're here although it's chaotic and hard as well. It's so much easier to cope with the known than guessing how you will cope with the unknown. I was lucky in a way because I'd already gone from 1 to 2, but you're going from 1 to 3 so dealing with twins plus siblings for the first time. Try to stop putting yourself under pressure as it just makes you feel worse about a situation you have no control of - you're not a bad mum, and dh is right some of it is hormones and tiredness. Once I went on mat leave at 28 weeks (forced to) I found dealing with the ds's much easier because I could rest up properly when they were at nursery. Also called in a lot of family and friend favours in later weeks.

Original poster

magnummum · 23/02/2009 13:36

Thanks ladies - feeling a lot more this week - must be mat. leave looming next Thursday and the thought of a few hours to myself while dd is at nursery! Also had good chat with DH over weekend and have negotiated a regular "1/2 day/day off" once they arrive every 6 weeks or so to keep me sane. Well that's the theory! Didn't manange it with dd but have learnt my lesson I think. Anyway, everyone who's replied support is very much appreciated.

Bmum how are you getting on?
Accessorize - so after 5 months are you still sane and are they as much fun (and work) as everyone says? How do you cope with dividing your time between four of them?

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frumpygrumpy · 23/02/2009 19:08

sweetheart, I fully empathise! Its hard. Join us on the daily chat thread "D'y ever wonder......." if you ever need some company and/or advice.

Original poster

magnummum · 23/02/2009 19:59

Thanks frumpy - will join you soon - having difficulty keeping up with all the threads at the mo! Finally getting to the bottom of to do lists etc so once my heads a bit more sorted will jump on board and chat properly!!

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accessorizequeen · 26/02/2009 09:23

MM, it is pretty hard going at times, I have to admit. But the more I panic about not doing enough with all of them, the worse I feel and then don't enjoy them as much. My homestart volunteeer (have you looked into them?) said on Tuesday that I was assuming all 4 of them needed me at the same time all the time and that wouldn't be true. Sometimes my 2yo happy to play by himself, same with 5yo and dd & ds3 nap a lot plus they can go to bed earlier than the other two so I can spend time with my eldest lo's then. Gradually we're figuring it out, I am guessing once the dt's are sitting up life will get easier again. But I do enjoy them, both as a unit and having two adorable babies who are entirely different from each other and my other children. V nice to experience a girl too! I was just rereading the carol cooper book and would recommend it as it's made me feel a bit better.

galaxymummy · 26/02/2009 15:29

Dear Magnum,
Sorry you have been a bit down. I would definitel recommend chocolate and watching reruns of hello hello.
I will say this only once always makes me laugh even with duff knee.

MarsLady · 27/02/2009 10:38

You'll find that the maternity leave does you a world of good my lovely. Your DD is just being 2. Doesn't make it easier I know but remember the mantra...

This too shall pass...
This too shall pass...

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