Can DD2 invite one twin but not the other for lunch??!

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DD2 (3y) would like to invite a friend from nursery for lunch, but not the girl's (male) twin! I feel very awkward about this - I'd be fine about it if they were older but expect they still do pretty much everything together at this age. It's not long since this would've been a sensitive situation even for my DDs (19m age gap). I certainly don't want to upset the little boy, altho tbh I do find more than two 3yo's a bit of a handful anyway. So I've been stalling ... Any thoughts?!

If they where a year appart would you find it odd? She want the little girl to come because they are friends, your Dd does not seem to be as friendly with the other tween IMO it is not really a problem.

Ask the mum. I don't think in principle there is anythign wrong with it, but I couldn't let one of mine go without the other atm, because dt2 would have a fit and probably tantrum for the whole time they were seperated. I think it depends on how seperable they are.

Well, there are only 19m between my two DDs and when they were at nursery together I don't think they ever got invited to anyone's house separately. I think it would have been tricky, but I would have just thought up a treat for the uninvited one. Glad you don't think it's a problem tho.

Cross post Chops. Thanks - yes unfortunately I never see the mum, but will ask the nanny what she thinks.

I dont see it as a problm esp as the twisns are different sexes, I would have htought it is nice for twins to be seen as separate people rather than ' the twins'

I would ask the mum. After all, it's HER you don't want to offend

oh they are very little aren't they. I'd invite both (and definitely the mum !) tbh

You have a point hester! Tho I'd hate to traumatise the little boy!

Yes trout, would need the mum/nanny if they both came I think! Only problem is DD2 hasn't learned much tact yet, so if she's dead against the little boy coming she might let it slip, er, quite vociferously

Will chat to DD2 about it first, then talk to the nanny (or the mum if I see her)

this is a tricky one and I think only because they are different sexes. At 3 they are clearly going to develop different friendships with different sex children. You Dd clearly isn't friends with the male twin and no one would expect her to be. Ask the mum, I would like to empathise, but because I have two boys they are always invited places together as even at 4 they are still "the twins" and seem to come as a package. I would like them to be invited seperately and expect that to happen at school - they have developed different friendships at nursery, but when asked they do list the same friends.

The mum will know if her DT's can cope with being apart and if she says actually they inseperable, then invite both twins and her, she can have cups of tea with you, help herd the kids and you may form a lovely new friendship.

That's really helpful thanks Neeerly3, thanks

Unfortunately tho as the mum works full-time I can't invite her, but maybe the nanny and I will become great friends

I have one of each flavour and when DD and DS were at nursery DD was invited to her friend without DS. I thought was great and didn't think anything of it. It gave DD a taste of independence and for me 1 to 1 time with DS.