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*MARSLADY *- I really need your help please?

11 replies

pophas2boybeans · 16/01/2009 09:20

or anyione else that can help me please - I'm going crazy.

I have 3 week old twins who were born at 33+5. For the first two weeks of their lives they were tube and bottle fed my milk in special care. Since coming home I've tried to breastfeed from me.I can't get them to latch/latch properly for love nor money as their mouths are not able to open wide enough to get the suction to enable my milk to come down. I'm having to express round the clock to I can bottle feed them and I'm sore and tired. Hugo is the slightly bigger and twin and I can get him latched but not brilliantly (he keeps falling off). He sucks and sucks and then acts punch drunk, I think whoppeee - he's cracked it but then 10 minutes later he's screaming and takes a whole 70ml of expressed milk in a bottle. I think he's wearing himself out and falling asleep before he even gets anything. I'm not even getting the let down sensation when he's on. Henry is another ball game all togther. I can't get him to latch what so ever.I put him to me and he pulls away and thrashes about.

I had to bring in some formula feeds just to give me a bit of a rest from the expressing every two hours round the clock but I really would like to BF totally. Marslady or anyone one else for that matter, can you help please? This is really getting me down.Thanks
xxx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
magnummum · 16/01/2009 09:30

Hi Pop - no experience to draw on but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope you get some good advice soon (sure you will MN is a lifesaver!).

pophas2boybeans · 16/01/2009 09:32

thanks magnummum. I didnt expect to have any problems as I BF my DD but she was term and there was only one of her!!

OP posts:
plj · 16/01/2009 09:32

I feel for you I really do. My situation was similar. DT's born at 33 wks. I persevered breastfeeding whilst they were in special care, and taking in expressed milk, but really struggled when they got home.
I don't have any advice on how to sort/fix this, as I didn't. I will be very honest-I gave up, and switched to formula. I so wanted to be able to breastfeed, but it was too stressful and exhausting. It was a hard decision to make, but physically and emotionally for me, it ended up being the right decision. I was still able to express for a while, so was able to give them some of my breastmilk. However, by 3 months, DT's were bottle fed formula.
I hope someone has some advice for you that will enable you to continue BF. Sorry, and Good luck x

Rubyrubyrubyknittedknickers · 16/01/2009 09:37

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Rubyrubyrubyknittedknickers · 16/01/2009 09:38

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kitstwins · 16/01/2009 12:34

I feel for you. My twins were born at 35 weeks and avoided SCBU (largely down to steroid doses during my pregnancy when I had early labour scares) but they were both born without a suck reflex and were tube fed for the first week of life. I expressed like mad and tried breastfeeding them before every feed but it was largely disastrous. The stronger twin would feed for ten minutes, I'd get exhilerated thinking I'd finally cracked it, only for her to zonk out after ten minutes and then wake up 20 minutes later starving hungry and screaming. Ocasionally she'd get herself in such a state that she wouldn't even manage to latch on (too busy screeching). The second twin was even worse and just didn't have the strength and couldn't latch on. I think she latched on once in the first three weeks and fed for ten minutes before passing out (only then to wake up screaming twenty minutes later.....). To say I was frazzled was an understatement and I got very tearful about it all.

I think the key is perserverence and essentially sitting on the sofa feeding as often as you can. In the early days you might need to do these 'little and often' feeds to build their strength. It will be boring and exhausting and I think that's why a lot of mothers with premmie twins give up on breastfeeding quite early on as it can be a bit of an uphill struggle. But it can be done and if you wanted to exclusively breastfeed you could do it.

If you keep offering them the breast and then topping them up with EBM they will get stronger and their latch will improve. It really is just a question of time in this sense and a bit of a catch 22 in the early days. They're too slow to feed but they need to feed to gain weight and strength to enable them to feed more efficiently.

A few ideas off the top of my head (I'm no expert though and I'm sure someone will come along who will be able to offer much more detailed and useful advice):

  1. Keep expressing and offering each baby a breast feed before each feed. It will get their strength up.
  1. Equally, you could try nipple shields for feeding as these make it much easier for the baby to feed from you (a nipple is much softer and therefore much harder work). Although people jump up and down and get antsy about nipple-teat confusion I did this and neither of my twins had any problems switching between the two. In fact it really helped - I'd offer them a feed from my breast and if it failed I'd slip on a nipple shield and see if that helped. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't (if they were really hungry and hysterical and had got themselves worked up into a lather). At this point I fed them from a bottle.
  1. Use formula. There are two camps on this and breast milk IS better for your baby, but I know a lot of twin mums and a lot of us have used formula for top up feeds. WE all wanted to exclusively breastfeed but you need a lot of support, a lot of patience and a lot of sofa time and that can be in short supply when you're struggling with newborn premmie twins. I split fed mine and they got EBM, formula and top-up breast feeds from me and it worked well. Not as well as exclusive breastfeeding, but I'm really proud of what I achieved in the circumstances. Formula is not the Great Evil and no one will think ill of you for using it. In my house I was in the 'Whatever Gets Me Through' mentality. Which got me through. Just about.

If you do want to breastfeed totally then I think perserverence is key and maybe trying nipple shields for a bit. Also, try strengthening your milk supply by upping your food intake. Lots of dairy and carbs help and the following really helped make mine nice and fatty.
Almonds - really good for milk supply
Coconut yoghurt - coconut is excellent for milk supply, as is dairy obviously. I used to eat tubs of the Rachel's organic coconut yoghurt every day and it made my milk really thick.
Cake - honestly. YOu can't beat a nice slab of cake. I ate a lot of madeira cake!!
Water - drink lots. A pint for every feed/express. Squash is okay if water is a bit boring and herbal teas are good (chamomile, peppermint).

I hope this helps. In the end I split fed for four and a half months - EBM, formula and top-up breast feeds. I gave up as my milk supply dwindled (which is does when you mostly express as it doesn't stimulate supply in the way that breastfeeding does). And fittingly, my second twin, the weaker of the two had my last feed. I lay with her on the sofa and she drained me on both sides and I watched her feeding really strongly from me and felt really good about what I'd managed in the circumstances.

I hope this helps and best of luck. It all gets easier with every week that passes.
Kx

frumpygrumpy · 16/01/2009 21:33

Mars says she'll get here as soon as she can....... in the meantime you can always email her via her website.

I'll try to link it.....is it mammydoula?....

frumpygrumpy · 16/01/2009 21:34

aha, found it!

MarsLady · 16/01/2009 23:31

You don't have CAT honey. So email me on mars at mammydoula dot co dot uk

kathryn2804 · 20/01/2009 10:20

Hi, perseverence is the key. plus try to get some one-to-one help. Are there any breastffeding peer supporters in your area? Are there any drop-in b-feeding groups that you can get to easily? Or a 'good' HV!! There are techniques for small babies to help them get enough breast tissue in their mouths, but it's very difficult to explain!! Much better if someone can show you.

Try to latch them on every feed, they will get there eventually. You are doing such a great job!!

magnummum · 22/01/2009 15:04

Hi Pop
Just wanted to see how you were doing and if things have got any easier over the past few days? Big hug.

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