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Multiple births

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Original poster

anyone been offered selective termination with more than twins?

22 replies

liahgen · 08/01/2009 21:49

Friend of a friend is expecting quins!!

she has been offered selective termination which she doesn't want in her heart of hearts.

Has anyone been in the same boat and how was it for you please?

OP posts:
Original poster
liahgen · 08/01/2009 22:02

anyone?

OP posts:
RiaParkinson · 08/01/2009 22:07

i have a friend who was with trips but due to their positioning and two were identical they could not

fabulous four year olds now!

how does your friend feel - wow 5!

Original poster
liahgen · 08/01/2009 22:08

she wants them all but is probably gonna go ahead as the cons have all said she'll probably lose them all.

Bloody horrible situation. Quins are possible aren't they?

Not sure how far along she is, am guessing somewhere just before mid term.

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kitstwins · 08/01/2009 22:14

My nanny's husband's cousin (a bit six-degrees-of-separation, but true) had quins in the 1980's. Natural conception (twins and triplets split from two eggs) and babies are now in their early twenties. So possible. Difficult, and a pregnancy mostly on bedrest but entirely possible.

I would truly hate to be in her shoes. Quins are possible but the pregnancy is complicated and the risk of miscarriage/premature labour is high. Having said that, a woman had identical quads a few years ago (saw programme on tv) and although her pregnancy was heavily medicalised her babies made it.

Good luck for you friend. Wretched, impossible position to be in.
K

thisisyesterday · 08/01/2009 22:14

oh what an awful position to be in.
personally I think I wouild rather let nature take its course, but it's very hard to say that with any amount of certainty as you don't know how you';ll feel.

there have been people who have given birth to 6/7/8 children before now.

RiaParkinson · 08/01/2009 22:22

liaghen

My friend was advised to selectively terminate due to a pre existing medical condition

At first we were all negative about the prospect but the medical team said for the most positive outcome - this was best

My friend also knew she was having 3 very early

your poor friend - it was a bleak and tearful heart wrenching time for my dear friend and her dh but she was lucky x

Deemented · 08/01/2009 22:28

Yes - i was pregnant with triplets and advised to SR.

I won't lie - i did think about it, and that was the longest week of my life having to make a decision like that.

In the end, we made a list of pro's and cons - there were lots of cons - money/how we would manage/where would we live ect, but only one pro - and that was that we wouldn;t be killing any of our babies and that in the end was what won it for us - we decided not to SR.

Fate however had other ideas and we lost a baby at ten weeks - we then went on to have two boys, one of whom died shortly after birth, and i now have a verly lively and wilful 4 year old.

RiaParkinson · 08/01/2009 22:30

Deemented so sorry for your losses x

I bet your four year old is adored! I heart four year old boys!

Deemented · 08/01/2009 22:30

Oh i also wanted to say to have a look at some of the american websites - Fertile Thoughts parenting section is good - i know a lady who had sextuplets on there, but sadly two of her boys died, but she has 4 lovely children, so it can be done.

Good luck and best wishes to your friend.

Deemented · 08/01/2009 22:32

Oh he's spoilt rotten, ria

thisisyesterday · 08/01/2009 22:36

oh deemented, that's so sad and yet so lovely at the same time, if that makes sense????

i hope what I am about to say isn't really insensitive but your story got me thinking.
imagine if you had terminated, and the one you got rid of was the one that ended up surviving. does that make sense?
and you'd have still lost the other 2?

i dunno, probably thinking too much about it but it just crossed my mind...

RiaParkinson · 08/01/2009 22:41

its a bit of an eternal heart / head argument

I think were it me - I would assume the doctors know best and want the best possible outcome

I would put myslef in their hands and do as hey suggest

(but thats me!)

It would cause terrible stress and grief but....

Deemented · 08/01/2009 22:50

I think that everyday, thisisyesterday. It reinforces that the decision we made was the right one.

Ria - we had fertility treatment to get pregnant, and when we went ofr our first scan, the firts thing the doctor said was.. l
oh this isn't good... not 'congratulations, ylour having triplets'

We were told we could have seen a specialist in Kings college, London, eho would do the SR - so we would have been in the very best hands. But it just wasn't for us.

Deemented · 08/01/2009 22:51

And i soooo need typing lessons

kathryn2804 · 08/01/2009 23:30

My friend with triplets was offered it!!

Quins, wow!!

Original poster
liahgen · 09/01/2009 09:28

thank you all ladies for shasring your stories.
deemented how heartbreaking for you. I'm sorry for your little angels.

She's worried about the risks of losing them all anyway as the procedure itself is not without risks is it?

Gosh, I would not want to walk in her shoes. I have 5 healthy children and feel blessed every day.

I guess she'll have to read/talk as much as possible and then follow her heart(and her dh of course)

thanks for the replies. x

OP posts:
Original poster
liahgen · 09/01/2009 09:28

thank you all ladies for shasring your stories.
deemented how heartbreaking for you. I'm sorry for your little angels.

She's worried about the risks of losing them all anyway as the procedure itself is not without risks is it?

Gosh, I would not want to walk in her shoes. I have 5 healthy children and feel blessed every day.

I guess she'll have to read/talk as much as possible and then follow her heart(and her dh of course)

thanks for the replies. x

OP posts:
Original poster
liahgen · 09/01/2009 09:28

durr, sorry

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Chuffed · 10/01/2009 03:04

I have triplets and was offered it, actually encouraged, was told that we may end up with none if we didn't go ahead.
We decided what was meant to be was to be and have 3 beautiful girls. Now looking at the baby who would have been 'terminated' due to her position it makes me feel sick. We didn't hesitate, when I said no straight away the doctor was like ask your husband don't rule it out. Not sure how I feel about it if I was carrying 5 but the chance of miscarrying more increases to 8% I think.
There are some really cool first hand stories of people who have done it that I read in a multiple birth book. Basically if things happen to the babies that are left you question the decision as in 'what if we hadn't done that would we they not have died afterwards, what if they had taken a different baby in the termination would that baby have lived after birth while this one didn't' (I hope that makes sense). I don't envy her decision.

RiaParkinson · 11/01/2009 18:49

wow chuffed!!

how old are the triplets?

ChocolateEclair · 11/01/2009 20:17

My friend's Mum had quads naturally at 38 when she had just remarried. They are now healthy, strong 15 year olds (all girls).

I'm sure it is possible to carry quins, but it would be a long long pregnancy. I'm trying to think what I would do if it was me, it's very hard. I think I would prob let nature take it's course tbh - things happen for a reason/fate and all that!

Would it be worth finding out some statisitcs as to what % of quins survive, what are % risks of procedure for the remaining babies etc?

Wish her good luck from me xx

Chuffed · 12/01/2009 08:18

The girls are 9.5mths old now. Can't imagine not having all of them.

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