22mth twin boys - one recently started having sleep problems

[walkie]

Sorry this is a bit of a long one - my boys have on the whole slept well since about 3mths (I know how lucky I am!). One has now started waking regularly through the night, then wide awake at 6am (they go to bed at 7.30 - quiet, no TV etc) - this started when we went on hols, and has now being going on for about 5 weeks. The only one getting any sleep in our house is DS1! We have tried crying it out/rapid return/nightlight/sitting in with him - occasionally he ends up in our bed just so that we can get some sleep. How long should you go on with the settling techniques - seems daft to be up for 2 hours in the middle of the night? I am doing all the things that the books suggest, but still nothing is helping, just seem he can no longer settle himself to sleep.

Can't help but bumping for you.

Is he teething?
Is he getting night terrors? Waking suddenly, sitting bolt upright and screaming for no apparent reason.
He has probably realised that he gets attention if he wakes at night!!
Does he need to drop a nap, or go to bed later. Both twins will not necessarily do this at the same time - mine didn't!

I would go in, stroke hair, say 'night night, I'll be back in 5 mins', go out, go back in 5 mins and do it again until he's asleep. He will eventually.

If you pick him up/take him to bed he will want you to do that every night!

Hi Walkie, When you go in to him, is he aware you're there? Does he actively want comfort or does he freak out a bit if you try to cuddle him? If he seems awake but confused and a bit panicky, then it might be night terrors, which can start around this age. He's not actually awake, though it might seem like it. If it is night terrors, they can be caused by emotional trauma (so not the reason for most cases) or sleep deprivation, so it may actually mean that he needs more sleep, not less. Sometimes, there's no reason and it just happens, particularly if you've had sleep walking or sleep apnea in your family history.

If he's just waking up, I don't know what to suggest, as it sounds like you're tried it all. My DTs wake up every night between 11 and 2 (they're 22 months also) and won't settle until they're in bed with me. I've now trained them to get in bed with me without waking me, so we all have a decent night's sleep. I'm a lone parent though and quite pro co-sleeping, so this solution may not be best for your family.

If nothing's working, you could try your Dr. I don't know about the wisdom of this, but I know people have certainly achieved success by getting their Dr to prescribe a mild sedative to knock out a child for a night or two in order to break the habit, if waking up has become a habit.

Hope it gets sorted.

Hi walkie

I REALLY sympathise with you, have been through a similar experience with my twins. They slept like angels till they were just over 2 (7am-7pm every night, no fuss going down, no night time waking). TBH I was probably just the teensiest big smug about it, undoubtedly why it has come back to haunt me!

Our troubles were also triggered by a change when DT1 was up for a week with a vomiting bug. We handled it very badly, let her sleep in our bed and held her hand to get her to settle. She then started waking several times in the night and up to start the day as early as 5:30

It's difficult now they're older isn't it? I find I can no longer leave them to cry down - they just get more and more worked up and it's even harder to settle them.

The only advice I can give is to be really consistent. We stopped letting her in our bed and got tough, 7:30pm-7am was sleep time with no exceptions.

If she woke up we would go to her in the dark and lay her down and say "sleepy time, sleepy time" - no discussion or any other talk. We were getting up several times a night repeating this which seemed hopeless at the time but it gradually improved! She started settling with a little pat and the early waking stopped.

No magical solution I'm afraid! Just putting it down to "another phase". Hang in there, it will pass like all the other crazy twin dilemmas.

Thanks all for the advice. Really helpful - realise now I need to be more patient - it is not going to get better overnight. Also need to be consistent - isn't that the hardest thing when you are tired/middle of the night - not the time to be sensible! I am going to write myself instructions to follow in the night, as a reminder and to help me not to break the resolve! Thanks again.

When things get tough we do a split shift where either me or DH is on duty and the other one sleeps in the spare room with ear plugs in. Means you at least get a proper kip every other night! Or we split the night and do half each. It's really hard to stay consistent when you're both knackered, I find it all falls to bits. I don't ever get a wink of sleep with my twins in our bed but this seems such an appealing option at 3am!

Consistency is the key. Try not to chop and change your approach. Sometimes its hardest just before the breakthrough.

Now remember the MN mantra:

This too will pass...
This too will pass...

OMG, me & DH made "action plan" last night (how organised!) - he took til 3 and I was doing 3 onwards. DS2 woke up 9.15 (!) and 11, but we put down & he went straight back to sleep. Up at 5, did CC for 1 hour - then the little angel went back to sleep til 7.30! I feel like a new woman. The planning to continue til Weds, hopefully will have improved again. Consistency def. important, but not easy when he was shouting "cuddle, cuddle" - horrible, but he was a really happy chappy when he woke up this morning, so worth it!