Can I get 3wk old twins to go longer between feeds?

[MerryMarigold]

Please help! I am tired...

Twins feeding all the time...sometimes go 2 hrs between feeds (if I am lucky, and usually last 2.5hrs from 2am to 7am). Most of the time though, they are feeding in 1 hr slots and sometimes more frequently. Is it possible to get them to last longer and how can I do that?

I am not tandem feeding at the moment as ds2 is not latching well and it takes quite a lot of effort to get him on properly (then he is on and off a fair bit). When he's got the hang of it, I hope to try the tandem thing...but right now even if they could both go 2.5hrs it would help a great deal.

bumping for you have no advise i am the twin i dont have any but from what my mum was saying sounds quite normal she used to be up all night as one of us would feed and then the other would wake up so one then the other all night never slept at same time if she wasnt feeding one it was the other all night

she had to express in the end to make sure my dad could help and to also monitor how much we were feeding and unfortunatly had to start using formula as hadnt much milk supply

but my ds at that age was up every hour so could be quite normal hopefully a multiples mum will come on and have some advise for you but as i say i had one and that age was up every hour big hugs to you though x

My twins were tandem fed from the start and I'm afraid I was often up in the night every hour at this stage. It really doesn't last long - mine are 4 now and it seems ages ago. Once your ds2 gets the hang of it tandem makes everything a lot simpler imho.
My twins managed 11pm -5am when they were 4mths old and exclusively breast fed - I remember that felt like a break through at the time!
If I stretched their feeds im the day I seemed to pay with lots of feeds at night, it was a little later that I stretched them and it was never the 4 hrs people talk about - always 3 until I gave them 2 bottles in the day when they were 6 mths and then it was weaning too so that helped.
It will get better - with all mine I reached breaking point at 8 weeks and then things suddenly calmed down!

MerryMarigold, I really feel for you. I had this same problem and the sleep deprivation is an absolute killer. I'm not sure you can make them go longer between feeds. I couldn't with mine, but there may be other ways you can improve things. Bubblagirl's idea of expressing so you can get a few hours off may help. It's also worse contacting the breast-feeding nurse to see if you can break the problem with DS2 and feed both at the same time. In the meantime, do nothing except feed the DTs and yourself and sleep. Frequent snatches of 45 minutes may be all you manage, but it all helps.

If all else fails, and I am prepared to get flamed for this, you may want to try topping up with and eventually switching to formula. Breast milk is definitely better, but not at the expense of your own sanity. Babies fare much better with a mother who's not about to go stark staring mad, regardless of what milk they're on.

I found the first 2-3 months really, really hard, but it does get easier after that and it will seem such a short time once you've come through it. Just hang on in there and accept all the help you can. Best of luck.

Oh MM, I remember it well.
Have the doctors or midwives looked at DS2 and how he latches on? The feeling when my DS fed was so different to DD that I kicked up a fuss. I found that I was feeding him more regularly as he was getting so tired trying to feed that he'd fall asleep before getting enough. My DS had a tongue tie which we had snipped at 2 weeks old. It made such a difference. He sprouted once his tongue was sorted.

I also found that if I cluster fed them from about 4pm to 7pm (eg hourly) then they slept better. Also lots of fresh air and walks

I'm sure others have more advice. Thinking of you lots and sending virtual horlicks..

First of all, congrats on your new little babies!

I'm afraid that I have no advice on how to get them to go longer (mine were actually very sleepy to start with and so did manage 3-hourly for a very brief - too brief IMO - stint!) but I would say that them feeding hourly is competely normal, just vvvvv tiring. I would agree with what has been said so far in that you need to get tandem feeding sorted, that made all the difference for me. See if there is a local BF counsellor or ring one of the helplines and see if someone who lives nearby can come and help you in person.

Once I was tandem feeding, I ALWAYS fed them at the same time, especially at night. If one woke up, that was it, the other has their nappy whipped off to wake them too, and they both had a feed. Sounds cruel but it did mean that I got some decent (2-3 hour) stretches of sleep, and tbh they often both started stirring at the same time anyway.

I also did a LOT of cluster feeding, parked on the sofa from about 5ish - 9 or 10pm sometimes. I felt that nothing was coming out but it was just my DTs bulding up my supply....and a very good excuse to have my DH cook supper/massage my shoulders/bring me chocolate, etc etc.

And, I know it's hard, but do try to rest as much as poss during the day too. Even if it's not in bed, but lying in front of the TV, it's still helping you recharge your batteries.

Good luck and stick with it as when it settles down a bit it is so much easier (I imagine) that sterilising all those bottles, and it's a great way to give both your LOs a cuddle at the same time. That's the bit I still love as mine are on the go all day long. The only time they stop is for their morning BF!

Please try to tandem feed. it will make your life so much easier!! Start by latching on the worst feeder. Make sure they are quite a long way back so you start nose-to-nipple. Then once the first is latched and into that deep sucking phase, reach over to no2 which you hopefully left nearby!!! then latch on.

At about 3 weeks babies have a growth spurt. this means that they need lots of feeds. If you go with the flow and try to keep up, your milk supply will catch up in a couple of days and everything should settle down.

Well done for keeping going. Take it a feed at a time, and before you know it they'll be weaning!!

Thanks for the good advice. Ds2 is learning how to suck better now, gradually and has certainly found his appetite. Dd is still going good, though doesn't latch well with sleeping feeds...

Question for those tandem feeding? What kind of pillow did you use?

I had a theraline (grow group) long one which was like a long bean bag sausage. I liked it because I could mould it round me and it was easy to travel with. Cost £30 I think.

use v shaped pillow and lots of cushions underneath to bring it up to the right height. Agree, you need to get the poorer latcher on first and then the stronger one. When mine were very small I found it easier to latch them on in rugby holds. They'd lay on the pillow so I could even wind one while the other was feeding.

It is exhausting, but it will get easier. I didn't tandem feed at night, because waking them for feeds never worked too well and it is easier to feed one lying down so you can doze too.

I used a v-pillow from John Lewis with varying amounts of pillows underneath - it was a real operation getting it all set up!!

Glad to hear that things are going well

MM, I do feel for you, you must be so shattered & I know exactly what a horrible feeling that is. I would be happy to post you the eze2nurse pillow that I bought recently (doesn't work for me, I'm happy with standard v) to try out? Let me know as I have your address still I think.

Tandem feeding is nowhere as difficult as you I thought it would be. Doesn't matter if one's asleep & you plonk him/her next to you whilst latching on the other. One prob. feeds longer than the other so start that one off first. If you can get someone over with some experience to help you do it, that might get over the first hurdle for you?

Also a bottle of ebm or formula at bedtime or whenever they get most fractious seems to buy me the longest sleep of the night & dp can give one whilst I give the other. From 3 weeks they've gone for at least 4 hours using that method. I think Neenz or Pazza said they did that too & it helped.

Walk after lunch has absolutely helped them to nap longer & to sleep better at night, read about research to prove that & tried it myself!

again, feel free to email me, we're in the same boat!

Hi MM, just looked at your profile. LOL at the passionate about BF as it is cheaper. Did you factor in the cost of cakes and pies? I was so ravenous in the early days that I'd be eating every 2 hours at least with 3 puddings at supper time!
Hope things have got a little better

Have you thought about expressing in the morning when your milk supply is at it's most so that DH/OH can give them a bottle in the evening? You can then express that feed a bit earlier and get a little bit more sleep too.

They do have bottle of formula around 9pm when I go to bed, but as night is cluster feed time, it usually only gives me 1.5-2 hrs sleep! Going to try tandem 'sometime'. AQ, will mail ya, thanks for offer...

Yes, do and don't buy the pillow if you can try out mine first. V.expensive & I didn't like it at all. V pillow is fine & a fiver from most shops - why not try that first?

what shops have v pillow? they seem expensive online...i did have an inflatable one (not ez) but didn't seem to work, they roll off!

I got mine at Dunhelm Mill but argos might do one, Debenhams etc. If you've already tried inflatable, the ez2 nurse might give you same probs. I remember it being a real trial for me to start tandem feeding (I rang Marslady and she was v.encouraging) but once I did life started to improve.
Have you considered that if they're feeding every hour the latch is not right as it seems mad for all day? They weren't that small at birth were they, I seem to recall?

ooh,mum lives near dunhelm, will ask her to get me one. i managed a tandem feed last night!! . i did it in the 'v hold', think it's called, both kind of sitting up...

think they are latching ok, as when they are not (lying down feeds), I get very sore quickly and my nips are fine at the moment.

the gaps are better on and off...seems like one day is madness and the next day is ok. I would say they usually average out about 90mins.

Gosh, they are so cute, I love them to bits

Ooh, excellent, I got myself so anxious about tandem feeding & in the end it wasn't that bad. Ask your mum to get a couple of extra covers too, mine gets covered in sick quite a lot! My dt's feed much better together than apart most of the time. 90 mins is still pretty short, isn't it? Hopefully the gaps will increase really soon but you could always ring a bf counsellor or someone like Mars - she was really helpful on the phone a few weeks ago.

Hi MM, not read the whole thread but just wanted to say I was up all night with my two in the early days and DD struggled to BF too (cos she was only 4.5lb). Don't think there is much you can do to make them go longer at night, except make sure they are fed regularly during the day (every 3hrs but sounds like they are doing that already). But I fed every 2-3hrs in day and they still kept me up all night!

With Esther's latch I just kept putting her to the breast, sometimes it would take 20 mins of holding her there before she would latch on and start properly feeding. Also, I used Theo as a 'pump' for her, I put him on for a couple of mins then put Esther on and that seemed to help her (maybe cos let down was faster?). As she got bigger and stronger she got better and better at BFing. She only put on 0.5lb in the first four weeks and HV was pushing me to use formula but she didn;t need it so don't let them try to tell you your DS needs to be topped up. As long as he is putting on weight he will be fine (remember 2/3oz for a 4.5lb baby is quite a lot to put on proportional to body weight)

What helped me with night feeds was having my mum come once a week to look after them from 10pm to 4am. I would give them their feed at 10pm then go to bed. They usually wouldn't sleep but mum would keep them going with dummies etc, then she would give them a feed of ebm (about 3oz each I think at that age) at about 1am and then keep them going again till 4am when I would have to get up and feed them cos I was so engorged. They never slept much for her either!

When they were seven weeks old they started waking just once in the night between 10pm and 7am. I thought I had gone to heaven when that started (now I get grumpy if I have to get up once with one of them!). I know it feels like you are in a fog at the moment and another eight weeks feels like the end of the world but it really will all be over soon. Hang in there, you are doing a great job.

Mine slept through from 11 and 13 weeks too so fingers crossed for you!!

Another thing that helped my DS sleep at night was taking him to cranial osteopath. After feeds at night he would need holding to sleep for about 30 mins, if you tried to put him down before then he would scream. That really cut into the amount of sleep I got! After he went to osteo he was like a different baby (he was forceps delivery so they think he was just a little out of line from the birth).

Just read rest of thread, yes I did start giving them ebm before bed (and after their bath too eventually tho can't remember what age - quite young tho). I expressed first thing and then before 9.30am feed too and less before later feeds, just 1-2 or 3oz from each breast before each feed would give me enough for four bottles (one at 7pm, one at 10pm for each baby.)

BTW, Merry, was it you who thought you were having triplets at first but then they discovered it was only twins?

I think I recall saying at the time that after they are born you will be glad it is only twins - am I right?

The EZ-2-Nurse pillow is absolutely great. I swore by it! You can feed hands free as it slopes in towards you. So you can eat, drink, use the remote (all the important things for a breastfeeding Mum!) I'd go for the inflatable one, it's cheaper plus you can let a bit of air in and out to suit your body shape.
www.twinsuk.co.uk/more_details.php?id=100177

Expensive on this site, I'm sure you can get it cheaper. If not, there's a great 2nd hand market on e-bay!